


Locked out of heaven

by Sukie_Kagamine



Category: High School Musical (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Apologies, Break Up, Breaking Up & Making Up, Canon Gay Relationship, Dancing and Singing, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gay Male Character, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Multi, Performing Arts, Tears, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-05-30 03:04:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 51,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15087602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sukie_Kagamine/pseuds/Sukie_Kagamine
Summary: "You know you can't help anyone with their emotional problem if you can't solve this yourself, do you?" Kelsi tilted her head to look at him."I am solving the problem." He groaned. "I am getting over him, as any wise being would do, because falling for a straight guy is utterly, obviously stupid. But it takes time, Kelsi, and not someone pouring lemonade over the wound."





	1. Ryan Gayborn of House Evans

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the musical Zanna, Don't!  
> I haven't watched it actually, so sorry about that, I just read the wikipedia and liked the world in which the musical took place, and that's everything that this work has to do with Zanna, Don't!  
> I made up the rest of the fic myself.  
> The pairings and tags might confuse you a little, but don't worry, this fic focuses on Chyan and I will update tags after every chapter to make sure none of the tags got left out.
> 
> *Name taken from the song Locked out of heaven by Bruno Mars. Sorry about the change in name, it's just the old name sucks.

"Hi everyone, my name is Ryan Evans, or you might as well know me as," The slim, blond boy on the stage tipped the random titles off his fingers, "Ryan Gayborn of House Evans, the first of his name, the Unstraight, the King of the Theater and the First Gays, the Khal of the Great Gayporntube, the Breaker of Closets and the Father of Drama."

  
Snickers and chuckles echoed from the rows of students in front of him, all of them amused and curious about the first speech starting the Clubs and Societies Meeting in East High. Most of them were freshmen, completely new to the school, but there were a lot of juniors and seniors as well. It's an exciting day to them: first day of school after a long, uneventful summer that might seem to be interesting at first, but soon bored them so hard they couldn't wait to go back to school. And the very first day of the school year wasn't for studying, of course, it's for the meetings and orientation that would provide the freshmen with everything they need to get along with the rest of the student body.

  
Normally, the only thing they ever cared about is the speech of the Basketball team captain Troy Bolton about the East High's Wildcats, everything about the history, victories and defeats of the team, to the rules, the practicing and the recruiting of new players in the new school year. But this year, with a little slight impact of Vance and Derby Evans, Ryan's speech about his brand new association was buffed to the opening of the meeting, and he had been rehearsing it for days to make sure everything was perfect. The start went on quite well, he knew his sense of humor will be useful one day. Now he had the attention, he better get on with it.

  
"I'm the founder of the LGBTQ East High association, and I'm here to tell you something about it and how it will help you go through the most life-changing crisis of your life: finding out that you are gay."

  
The crowd laughed again, and Ryan grinned to them. "Or simply not straight. Not all of you of course, but I know the confusion and panic of having a sexual crisis and not having anyone to help or guide you. It's really lonely, scary, and stressful. Uncertain about yourself, feared of being rejected and discriminated by others, and cheesy, heart-breaking unrequited love. So I founded the association to help anyone who has to go through the same thing, doesn't matter if there's only one person, I'm here to support you."

  
The laughs quiet down as hundreds of eyes glued to him, focusing and listening to every single word. "The road to truly understand and be proud of yourself can be quite rocky. There are so many questions and choices that you need some advice, answers or a pair of ears to listen to you. We will be honored to be there for you anytime you need us. If you suddenly find out that you are having a crush on your fellow sport teammate," He chuckled, "Or the girl you happen to see in the women's room with gorgeous eyeshadow, or having a crush on both genders at a time, or not feeling in the right body, any problem, you can come to us. If you are unsure and don't want to spread the rumors, then you can still ask for our help privately, through emails or personal contact, and we'll be happy to keep your secret safe, too. You will find my email on the school club's website, and I will be in the drama club most of the time. The same things with Kelsi Nielson, my co-president of the association, just find the nearest piano and she'll be there."

  
He glanced at the tiny girl on the far right of the first row of seats and smiled. "You can also show your support to the association by joining: really, you don't have to be gay to join, anyone can, and spend time helping us with developing the association. Anything you can do: organizing meetings, managing paperwork and contacts, hosting a wonderful show, or maybe sing and dance, you will always be helpful to us, as giving advice will not be the only thing we do for the East High LGBTQ community. Contributing to the growth of the association is a way of helping people and showing them that you care. We always welcome new members. It's the new era and we're living in the Fifty states of gay, so let's make America gay again!"

  
The crowd exploded in laughter, and the blond smiled charmingly at everyone in their seats. "Any questions?"

  
No one replied. They all nodded at him, clearly understood everything he said.

  
"Nobody?" The blond asked again.

  
"What's your number? Are you single?" A guy raised his hand to the air with a flirtatious smirk on his face. Ryan would have brush it off thinking it was a joke if he didn't see the guy's eyes on his ass when they crossed each other on the campus. It happened for like, a few times already, and they have only been in the same campus for a day!

  
"Well, I suppose it's a good news for you that I'm currently available. A shame for me, though, maybe I'm just not as hot as I think." Ryan winked and some of the girls giggled. "Fun fact about me: I can do some pretty impressive magic tricks. Open your phone and find my name and number in it."

  
The guy was shocked to see Ryan really paying attention to his playful question and slowly took his phone out of his pocket to unlock it in front of everyone's stares. He opened the contact list and typed in the letter R inside the searching engine. The guys sitting next to him curiously leaned over to look at the sceeen. The name Ryan Evans appeared right under it with a row of numbers in a second, and the whole room saw his eyes gone wide and mouth dropped.

  
"How...how did you do that?!" He exclaimed, and everyone cheered in laughter. Ryan gave them a dramatic bow before coming off the stage to leave the space to other club presidents. According to the loud and long applause he left behind, he was sure the freshmen would remember him whenever they think of the word gay. And that should be enough.

  
"So, what do you think of my speech? Do I need to throw in some more rainbow or unicorn the next time I speak in front of the student body?" Ryan chuckled and elbowed Kelsi as he came down to his seat. She rolled her eyes.

  
"You keep on flirting with random freshmen like that and they will start believing you really are a little interested in them." She and Ryan had formed a rather close bond over the last summer when they worked together to put up a show for the Wildcats in the summer talent show, and of course, when they became the partner in crime in scheming the overthrow of Sharpay's reign in Lava Springs. His sister was the generous one to give him the Star Dazzle Award after her performance crashed and burnt by his doings, so he apologized to her sincerely and made up to her with ice cream the next days. He invited Kelsi to the ice cream sessions too, and they quickly became best friends.

  
She was unlike anyone else in the whole Troyella drama: Gabi was nice and caring but she was dedicated to Troy, and he couldn't get near her without his skeptical and cautious look even when the whole planet had known he was gay since he was born into this world. Well, not since then, but like, since a long time ago. Troy was afraid of him stealing his girlfriend, so they were not particularly close. And Chad and his girlfriend Taylor were sticking to each other like some kind of stupid glue, so Ryan didn't have time to interact with Chad after the baseball game. Kelsi was the only one who cared for him enough, understood him and was not a part of any drama, something that he appreciated so much. And also the fact that she was a lesbian. She came out to Ryan after being around him for some time, saying he was the reason she gathered enough confidence to show her real self to the world, and he couldn't be more proud. That led to the idea of this whole association, where the two of them wanted to help the students that had difficulties in living with their differences. It went on well: Sharpay and the Drama club joined them, the Wildcats joined them, and the Chemistry club joined them. As much as he wanted to hate Taylor, he couldn't find enough pettiness to hate such a wise, kind and supporting person.

  
"I can be interested in them." Ryan's eyebrows furrowed as he pouted. "I am interested in that guy."

  
"Yeah, right." Kelsi shrugged. "Does that have anything to do with the fact that that guy is tall, sporty, black and likes basketball?"

  
"What? Really?" Ryan turned around to look again, and Kelsi sighed.

  
"You liked him clearly unconsciously then. I guess your type has changed, my friend. The more someone looks like Chad Danforth, the more handsome and attractive you think they are." Her voice dry with sarcasm, and he winced.

  
"Stop mentioning him, Kels. It stings enough watching him lovey dovey with Taylor."

  
"You know you can't help anyone with their emotional problem if you can't solve this yourself, do you?" Kelsi tilted her head to look at him.

  
"I am solving the problem." He groaned. "I am getting over him, as any wise being would do, because falling for a straight guy is utterly, obviously stupid. But it takes time, Kelsi, and not someone pouring lemonade over the wound."

  
He didn't know his little crush on Danforth could be so serious. He had always warned himself not to crush on straight guys, especially guys with girlfriends already, but his stupid heart kept fluttering whenever they talked or when he thought of the baseball game they played against each other with so much sexual tension anyone could smell it in the air. Sometimes he wondered if Chad was actually gay or bi and had some interest in him, because the game was too obvious to ignore, but then Ryan came to the conclusion that it's not something he should think of. All he needed to know was Chad and Taylor were a couple, that meant it doesn't matter if Chad liked boys, or if Chad was really into Taylor, Ryan didn't have any right to stand between them. It's the worst thing to do, breaking people up to keep the one you want to yourself and keep feeding the selfish asshole inside you. Ryan was not mean, nor desperate, so he chose the best solution was to ignore and try to forget Chad as soon as possible. He found the job quite difficult as his crush over the summer had evolved into something so desiring, greedy and hungry that he touched himself thinking of Chad at night and he couldn't get the guy out of his head. But he saw this new guy today, and something came up to him.

  
"You know what, I got that guy's number. I'll hit on him." He looked at the guy sitting at the back, paid too much attention to Troy giving speech about basketball that he didn't notice Ryan watching, but the silly smile on his face Ryan saw when he stepped down of the stage still blossomed over his face, so the blond guessed this new target of his should be easy.

  
"Find another fish in the sea, very wise move, my friend." Kelsi talked in that voice again, and he pinched her arm.

  
"Stop being a bitch to me, my friend." He crossed his arms. "I swear I'll mock you to death the next time you crush on some straight girls."

  
"No, really, I think you really should do it." Kelsi smiled to him. "It's clearly not getting over Chad choosing a boyfriend who looks like his clone, but it's still an improvement. You are progressing."

  
"Wow, thanks for the encouragement." Ryan slapped his own forehead. "We're so not gonna let you near the next closeted guys coming for help."

  
"We'll see." She smirked, and he sighed.

  
As much as her words stung, he had to admit they were all true. He claimed to help people but he couldn't control his own affections not to get attached to straight guys who would never be his. He hated having an unrequited crush, it's strenuous. Tossing and turning at night, thinking of Chad half of the time and trying to get Chad off his head the other half, finding countless ways of making himself busy just so he didn't have time to fantasize and wonder, and hating himself for being so stubborn and stupid he couldn't give up on this crush. Maybe dating this guy would distract him from Chad, so he could focus back on being the good friend he was, and maybe soon, he would get over Chad and forget about all of this. He looked at the stranger's number in his phone. He didn't even know the name of this Chad clone.

 

_**To be continued** _


	2. A disaster date

"This is our third date, you have to tell me how you got your number into my phone." The dark teen groaned, and the blond giggled.

 

  
"Nope." He scooped a spoonful of flan and put it into his mouth. "That's the rule: never do any trick twice, and never tell anyone the secret behind it."

 

  
The teen sitting across the table pouted, and Ryan couldn't help smiling. Hanging out with this guy was a lot more fun than he thought. At first, everything he had in mind was looking for something to do to get his mind off his desperate crush, and he expected nothing from this jock. The first thing was, he was a freshman. Freshmen were always naive, innocent and absolutely clueless in relationships. He meant, they were just slightly older _children_ , they knew nothing of how to impress the people they were trying to approach, or how to seduce them and please them with their actions and words. To be honest, not many seniors knew how to master the art of flirting either, especially jocks. Despite blindly lusting after Danforth, Ryan would still list him as one of the most oblivious and dumbly annoying creatures when it came to romance. That's what surprised him about this one particular jock that he accidentally picked up on the sidewalk of the rocky road to give up on Danforth. His name was Zachary, and if Ryan didn't know him from school, he wouldn't believe he was two years younger than Ryan.

 

The teen was similar to Chad in his certain confidence, he could light up the room only with a grin, and he was extremely sporty. He was taken in as the newest member of the Wildcats' basketball team, and he was said to have infinite potential. And he had warm brown eyes with dark, curly hair. Not ridiculously long like Chad, but the curls were clearly visible, and Ryan loved it. Zac was his type, so he had no problem throwing himself into the guy. Okay, he admitted it, his type _was_ Chad Danforth, the more someone looked like him, the more Ryan was into that guy, but he thought maybe it was just his favorite type since the beginning and Chad was just someone who made him realize it. But Zac was more than just a common jock: he was flirtatious and gallant and always knew the right thing to do to make Ryan feel wanted. That was something Chad didn't do, and the blond told himself he could stay in this unnamed relationship for a bit longer.

 

 

It had been only three dates, but the way Zac treated him and talked to him was too sweet to ignore. No, not talked, _listened_. He listened, and paid attention, and showed his emotion. Maybe Ryan was just an attention whore that couldn't stand not being heard, or his craved for it was not unreasonable at all. Zac didn't accidentally forget the conversation to hold his girlfriend into his lap and kiss her, or cut Ryan off to have more time for basketball practicing, and that made the blond felt much less invisible than usual. It was not like Ryan didn't have anyone to appreciate him, he did, but not like this, not so perfect. So he decided to keep this jock beside him.

 

  
When he quietly took the guy's phone out of his pocket when they were next to each other on the school bench earlier in the first day of school, he didn't think it would become such an awesome magic trick. He just realized this one had checked him out four times in the past three hours, cause the campus was large but he was always moving and they saw each other a lot more than he expected. Ryan didn't know why this one caught his eyes, there were also some other guys knew he was gay and tried to flirt with him, but he looked at their slick _platinum-color hair_ for once and decided to run away. He noticed the guy sat only some inches away on the bench when he stopped running back and forth to prepare for the information table of his association, but seemed like the guy didn't know, because he was too focused on the talk with someone else. Ryan just considered the situation for a minute, and then reached over to pull his phone out of his pocket and added his name and number in the contact list. Well, fate was with him that day not to apply somekind of personal password on the phone. He used the phone to call himself to get the guy's number, and silently put it back in the pocket before anyone notice. He didn't have any intention of pulling some magic tricks, simply because he didn't know the guy would end up flirting with him after his speech, but he glad he made that thing up in his head that moment, because everyone else including the guy was crazy about what he did. And there was no way he would tell anyone his secret.

 

  
This jock was exactly everything he needed now to get his mind off what was bothering him, and he couldn't be happier. Well, actually, he could be a little more happy if they kissed. That's the only problem he found in this relationship: they hadn't kissed at all. It was not only three dates, they met each other all the time at school, the guy came to greet him at the gate the moment he showed up and sticked to him until the bell rang, they had lunch together everyday, and sometimes Ryan took him home. They spent a lot of time together, and not even a kiss on the cheek. Maybe teenagers nowadays were just too impatient, but three weeks of being together without a kiss were too much.

 

  
The date was amazing, everything went well, it was fun, he got to hear a lot of basketball jokes and could really laugh at more than half of them. Zac kept on opening doors, pulling chairs for him and letting him walk on the inner side of the pavement, so there was nothing Ryan had to complain. Apart from the kissing thoughts, because the blond was going to ask him about it right now, when they were walking on the streets to get to the next destination instead of using his new car.

 

  
"Hey, can I ask you something?" Ryan turned to him, letting his face get closer to Zac's, their breaths mingled.

 

  
"Sure, what is it?" The guy smiled, and he whispered.

 

  
"Why haven't you kissed me?" The blond tilted his head, eyes opened wide innocently as he asked, hoping the other one wouldn't be able to resist his charm and just leaned in and kissed him already.

 

  
"Yeah, about that..." Zac turned away, and Ryan's hand on his bicep dropped.

 

  
He wordlessly looked at the guy's face, heart shook inside. He knew this face. He had dreamed about it more than once: he was being refused. Only that in his dreams, it was Chad Danforth.

 

  
"I don't like you that way. Just...as a friend. With dates." Zac said, and Ryan couldn't hide his bitter low chuckles.

 

  
"Of course. How could I not know? Now I'm just making a fool of myself." He was too numb to even hate himself, it was just pathetic to be paranoid about having a relationship with a freshman. His mind was so dull heand couldn't tell the difference between something he should do, or shouldn't do anymore.

 

  
"Yeah, because you're clearly into someone else, and I don't have a single chance to replace him in your heart and mind." Zac whispered back, and he looked at the guy again. What was he talking about?

 

  
"What?" He didn't think of Chad for one second this whole date. Not even once. And even if he did, he showed no sign of it. He knew his actor instinct would never betray him, he said nothing about Chad, always paid attention to the story, and never left his eyes off Zac's face for once. Why the hell did this guy say that?

 

  
"Tell me about this Chad Danforth. I knew him from the team, but how did you two know each other? How did you develop a crush on him?" Zac continued the conversation with a calm and casual voice that somehow pissed Ryan off.

 

  
"You know _nothing_ about that!" The blond hissed. "Why are you even mentioning him? What do I have to do with him?"

 

  
"Please stop acting and be honest with me, I'm not a threat." Zac told him, gently and quietly. "We all know your crush on Danforth, why don't you tell me more about him?"

 

  
"Because I don't want to!" Ryan found it difficult to volume down his voice, he couldn't understand why Zac pulled this out on him out of the blue. Chad wasn't relevant to the story, he had torturing Ryan's mind enough, how could he still break Ryan's relationship even when he was not here? "I don't want to care about him, I'm here with you so I can be with you and not having anything to do with him! Why are you bringing this up?"

 

  
"What is my last name?" Zac suddenly threw him a question, and he was stunned. What the heck was happening?

 

  
"I... Why are you..."

 

  
"You don't know it, do you?" Zac shook his head. "You didn't ask. You didn't really want to know, because I'm not on your mind."

 

  
"You are in my mind!" Ryan desperately denied it, but he panicked inside, realizing what he did. Or more accurate, didn't do.

 

  
"It's alright, calm down, I'm not mad, or hurt, or anything." The other teen laughed and stroke his shoulders. "You're adorable like this. Anyway, I'm not trying to force anything out of you, okay? I'm just asking as a friend. What made you like him so much?"

 

  
"Does it really matter?" Ryan glared at him. "He doesn't like me back. He has a girlfriend, he is straight."

 

  
"You don't know, maybe he is bi and he hasn't realized it." Zac shrugged.

 

  
"Please," Ryan rolled his eyes. "This whole _world_ could turned out gay and maybe he would set eyes on me. I'm not smart, or have excellent grades. I'm just a gay theater guy that played baseball with him once."

 

  
"Ah, so it was baseball that connected you with each other?" Zachary blinked, and Ryan pushed his hands away.

 

  
"None of your business." He growled and stomped away from the other guy, heading to the opposite direction and didn't look back when he heard he called his name.

 

  
This was the worst date he had ever had, so stupid and blunt and just plain rude. This Zac guy was not as perfect as he thought: he was too dumb to know what topic he should dig in or not, and even when Ryan warned him, he kept nosing his way into Ryan's private life and that was pissing him off. And everything started with this Chad Danforth. Maybe if it wasn't for him, Ryan and Zac would have the best, sweetest date, and they would have some chemistry and maybe end up in a real relationship in the future. But everything blew up against his face because the topic of his stupid crush was brought up, and he couldn't talk without being angry, or hurt. Deep down inside, he knew it was his fault for that. The crush on Chad only took place in his mind and nowhere else, he was the one making it up and couldn't get rid of it. Chad actually didn't have anything to do with it, and, well, Zac was rude to keep pushing him, but he didn't deserve to be left in the middle of the street like that. But it was easier for him to channel his hate into them, blaming them with his terrible feelings, so he thought he could stick to it for now. The problems would be solved later, when he woke up, as he lied down on the bed and closed his eyes that night. Crushes and boys were too complicated to handle at the same time.

 

  
.  
.  
.

 

  
Ryan reached onto the nightstand to find his alarm clock to shut it up without opening his eyes. It took him a few attempts, but finally, he hit the snooze button and continued his sleep for ten more minutes. After that, the alarm rang again, and he sighed as he decided to get up from the bed. He got up earlier that day than usual, so he had to spend some time surfing the internet to get the sleepiness off his eyes.

 

  
And he was wide awake the moment he saw a photo of Taylor Swift and Katy Perry _kissing_. On the lips. In the middle of daylight. What the heck? Since when did they stop hating each other? Much less kiss? And Taylor Swift was interested in girls? But that wasn't the most shocking thing to him. Yes, Taylor Swift was kissing Katy Perry, but the most shocking thing was, no one was surprised about that. Literally, _no one_. The people in the comments cheered, wished them a long relationship, but none of them asked the most important question of all: Why the heck was Taylor Swift and Katy Perry interested in each other. He scrolled down his newsfeed for some more opinions about this, but it got more and more strange. He saw so many pictures of gay and lesbian couples from the people who he didn't know were gay at all. His jaw kept dropping everytime a photo showed up, and his mind spinning, trying to find an explanation for this.

 

  
He then opened a new tab to send a message to Gabriella to ask about it, but he was horrified to realize she was not in a relationship with Troy anymore. She was single. And below the single status posted three months ago, was her breaking up with, oh my god, _Taylor McKessie_. What the _fuck_?! Okay, this wasn't right. This was very, very, very _wrong_. He searched some more names to see their timeline, and he got more and more panic when everyone of them, every single one, posted photos and pictures of them dating someone they clearly didn't date the day before. And all of them were the same sex.

 

  
Ryan slapped down his laptop and bolted into Sharpay's room next to his, but he banged at the door and no one answered. He looked at the clock and started freaking out. He was late for school. Oh no. Fine, he would confront his sister about this prank when he saw her at school. If it wasn't her who messed up his phone and laptop to mock him about being gay, she would find that person and tear him into pieces for making fun of her brother. He ran back to get his bag and raced down the stairs, through the kitchen, ready to burst through the door. Until he saw a couple in the kitchen counter, completely naked, in the middle of making out. They looked up at him, and he saw his dad and a man. On the counter. About to have sex. His father. And a man.

 

  
He screamed.


	3. The spell revealed

The two man rolled to the other side of the counter when they heard Ryan's scream and fell to the tile floor with a loud thud and two groans. Their heads still poked out behind it though, and Ryan saw the man lying on top of his father. Blond hair and blue eyes, like him and his sister. His heart was speeding up so hard he thought it was going to burst out of his chest any moment, leaving him in a bloody mess. His eyes flicked from his father's wince to the man, and he stopped breathing from pure panic. All of the thoughts exploded in his head at the same time and he couldn't form a full sentence.

 

  
"Wha... Dad what are you... Why are you... How..." He stuttered, and the blond man quickly turned sideway to face him with an apologetic smile. He didn't understand how the man could smile.

 

  
"We're so sorry, ducky, we thought you two already got to school." He said with a warm, honey voice that somehow so familiar to Ryan, although it was manlier and lower. Even the lines in his face looked familiar, but Ryan was still too stunned to care about details.

 

  
"Dad, why are you doing this?!" He was breathing hard, trying not to roar. His father was having a gay affair behind his mother's back in the middle of the day, right in front of him and they even had the balls to _talk_ to him?! One thing he had always thought he knew, was that his parents loved each other too much, loyal to each other too much to have any thought of betraying one another. After all, they had been married since the days his father hadn't been rich, and their marriage still survived all the temptation of the uptown life along with the failures and downfalls. There could be no way they would betray each other, and then here he was, looking at these two people shamelessly treated him like he approved them and was fine with this.

 

  
"We already told you how much we're sorry, we promise we won't try this without checking for you first again." His father looked away, both of them stumbled to put on their clothes as the blond man kept apologizing, and Ryan snapped.

 

  
"Don't you _dare_ call me ducky!" He glared at him. "Only my mother calls me that! Where is she, dad? Does she know about this?"

 

  
The two of them stared him for a few long seconds, and they both sighed.

 

  
"Sweetie, you're too much in character for the straight right play in the drama club again, aren't you?" The blond man shook his head. "Stop stressing yourself, baby, it's bad for your skin."

 

  
"What does this have to do with my skin?!" Ryan couldn't believe what he just heard. "Father, you're betraying mom! Having an affair behind her back!"

 

  
"Enough now, young man." His father finally used his serious voice, and their stern looks at him pissed him off. "This play went on too far for you. There is no mom here. We are happily married for twenty two years, your papa and I raised you and your sister," His father looked at the blond man, "And even though we're wrong to not consider this thoroughly enough to do this more privately, there is no way you can talk to us with that tone. And telling me I'm betraying some woman that doesn't exist to have an affair with your papa is unacceptable. That's not how we taught you, Ryan."

 

  
He opened his eyes so wide he thought his eyeballs could slip off any second. He shifted his gaze from his father to the other man, from the other man to his father, confused. His mind was an absolute mess. The words swirled in his head, the sight slammed at him like a cement wall, and he stuttered.  
"But... How..."

 

  
"It's okay, honey, he was just too stressful over that play." The blond man, who was just called his papa, gently stroke his father's cheek. "Don't be angry at him, he'll get himself together soon."

 

  
And then he looked at Ryan and smiled. The boy was stunned how familiar that smile was to him. "You're late for school, ducky. Get there quickly. I'll handle your father."

 

  
"What do you mean handle..." His father protested, but the blond man kissed him.

 

  
Ryan ran out of the house.

 

  
He still couldn't control his breathing.

 

Everything his father had just said to him was too shocking and impossible to digest. Nothing made sense, how could this man be married to his father for twenty two years? It was supposed to be his mom! Why were they talking like he was the one that raised him? And, raised him and his sister? That man? What the actual _fuck_? He couldn't understand a thing, and the more he thought about it, tried to make sense to it, his mind just twisted itself into a colorful mess. He drove his new car out of the garage and hit the gas, sped straight to school. That man and his father must be continuing what they had been doing before he came in, and there was no way he could put up with that. His father said his mother didn't _exist_!

 

  
He almost hit two pedestrians while too distracted by the thousands of questions in his head, and he freaked out to see one of the two people shrieked and held on tight onto the other, right when he stopped the car. They angrily yelled at him, but he couldn't even gather pieces of his mind on the floor to react. And then the girl kissed the other girl to assure her, and pulled her away from 'the crazy rich boy'. He freaked out even more. First Taylor Swift and Katy Perry, then all of the people he knew on facebook, then his father, and now these random two people? Why was... Why was everyone _gay_?

 

  
He started driving more slowly to observe some more people on the street. Two men pushing a stroller with a baby inside on the sidewalk, noticed him staring and turned aside to kiss each other. A pair of elderly lesbian couple sitting on the bench, giving each other flowers. And even two kids walking each other to school. They were boys, and were licking their candy wedding ring toys. The candy rings matched. Sweat rolled off Ryan's face when he looked at every couple in the streets, and all of them, every single one of them, was homosexual. Both the ones he didn't know, and the ones that he knew for years and swore were married to a person of different gender yesterday. Not even one of them was straight, and he had to sit back in his car for a moment after pulling up into the school yard.

 

  
He had never been this freaked out in his entire life. Finding himself was gay could never be compared to finding _everyone_ around him was gay. He held his head in his hands and tried to calm down. Okay, okay, his mom disappeared, replacing her was some random man, everyone he saw suddenly turned gay, what was he gonna do to bring this back to normal? And... What if it was just some great prank a dick planned up to scare him? Yeah, that made sense, he was being scared to death by now. Apart from the fact that he knew his parents would never anticipated in this cruel prank to mock his sexuality, he knew they wouldn't. And those strangers and neighbors on the streets, there were so many of them. To persuade them to join this prank together just to scare the shit out of him was too much of hard work and the results wouldn't be worthwhile. He didn't know how he could explain all of this without that theory. His thoughts intertwined into even a bigger mess with questions, and they were slowly being sucked into a giant black hole, because he was completely lost right now.

 

  
"Hey, Evans!" Someone knocked on his windshield and he looked up to see James Gump, a guy from the school baseball team. He hardly knew the guy, apart from seeing him on the school's games a few times. He hadn't played baseball for years, the one from the summer with Chad didn't count, and he was sure his love for the sport, and the baseball team, was dead.

 

  
He opened the door and stepped out. "Huh?"

 

  
"You're skipping the first two classes, too?" The guy whispered to him wickedly and wrapped an arm around his shoulder as if they were close friends. "Man, we're totally doomed."

 

  
Ryan couldn't say a word, just followed him to the locker hall to pick up his books.

 

 

Seemed like the bell for the last class just rang, and everyone else were hurried to their next class. But somehow all the looks were on him, and for the first time in his life, he was uncomfortable with the attention. Usually, all of the praise and admiring looks he got were for Sharpay who was marching in front of him. When he decided not to hide in her shadow any longer in this senior year, everything went quiet down so quickly he was disappointed for days. Turned out people only showed interest in his sister, and he was nothing more than an invisible guy trailing behind her like some kind of ghost, but the upset feelings evaporated when he found how peaceful and comfortable it was to do whatever he wanted, go wherever he wanted without people checking him out in the hallway all the time. He loved the attention, but he thought he could leave it till later, when he was done enjoying the freedom.

 

  
Not now, obviously. The attention was even worse than before, because it came from all of the boys (even the guys next to each other and obviously a couple). Every one of them, they all stopped what they were doing just to look at him, dropping wows and whistles and a guy, clearly on drug, jumped in his face to ask for a kiss. He knew he had dreamed of being recognized and desired by so many gay guys for almost all his life, but this was still too horrifying. He frozed and didn't know what to do with the highly on drug boy, and Gump shooed the guy away with a glare.

 

  
"He's got a boyfriend, dummy! The guy's gonna snap your neck if you harass his precious Ryan." And he pushed the drug guy aside to continue strolling down the hall with Ryan. "Tiring, huh? Being the East High's primo boy could sometimes be a curse."

 

  
The guy waved his hand dramatically, and Ryan stared at him. What?

 

  
Gump left him at his locker when he saw a dark skin boy came up from afar. "Oops, boyfriend time's here! Talk to you later! Don't hunt me down, guy, I'm just talking to my friend."

 

  
Ryan's gaze snapped up to look at the one being adressed his boyfriend, and he admitted his heart fell onto his stomach when he realized it wasn't Chad. God, how could he thought of that in this moment? Finding out everyone was gay and lusting after him might triggered his imagination a bit.

 

  
"So, how's the day going for you?" Zachary Florent, Ryan remembered to look up the guy's last name after the disastrous date, leaned onto the locker next to his and smirked. "Saw you not turning up to school the first two classes, so I guess you're taking the whole gay thing pretty hard."

 

  
Ryan stared at him wordlessly for a full minute, his brain shut down again. What did Zac mean?

 

  
"Now the whole world is finally gay, maybe it's time to hit on the Chad Danforth?" Zac went on, couldn't stop himself from laughing at Ryan's lost puppy face.

 

  
Wait a minute. Did he just...

 

  
"It was **_you_**?!" Ryan slammed his locker so hard the whole hall went quiet and all looks were at him. He was so mad he didn't even care now.

 

  
"What are _you_ looking at?" He glared at the curious eyes around him and they immediately turned away. "Mind your own business!"

 

  
"Ryan, come on, don't..." Zac tried to calm him down, but he growled.

 

  
"It was _you_ who turned everything upside down?!" The blond sneered at him. "Turn it back to normal now! What are you, some kind of _wizard_?!"

 

  
"You said that's what it takes for Chad Danforth," He whispered the name, like Chad was _Voldermort_ , for god's sake, "to notice you! So I made it happen! You're shock, I know, but you'll appreciate this, I promise."

 

  
"I will not appreciate this!" Ryan raised his voice, tried not to yell. "I don't care about Danforth, I don't want him to notice me or some shit! I was handling everything well and you just waved your hand and made this happen without asking me..."

 

  
"Okay, I'm sorry about that!" Zac shut his eyes, but Ryan couldn't stop.

 

  
"Do you know I woke up this morning and found my dad making out with a _strange man_ on the kitchen counter? What did you do to my mom?! Who is that man?"

 

  
Zac wrinkled his forehead to think, and Ryan's death glare was still on him. It was like he was looking into some magical vision inside his head, and a moment later, he laughed. Ryan was so ready to chew his head off, when he raised his both hands defensively.

 

  
"Wait, don't! It's not anybody, it's your mom!"

 

  
"What? That's not my mom!" Ryan blinked rapidly, and Zac started explaining.

 

  
"This is weird to me too, but it is your mom. Normally in this kind of world, no one was changed. Everybody just simply changed their relationships with each other, like, uhh, Gabriella not dating Troy anymore but now dating a girl, some girl, I don't know, so your dad is supposed to be married to another guy, but your mom is different." The guy shrugged. "The man you saw making out on the counter with your dad was actually a male version of your mom, with everything else the same. He is still your mom, Ryan, but just a man."

 

  
The blond stared at him, speechless. And then after a while, he asked, sounded like he was about to _cry_.

 

  
"Does that mean I'm adopted?" He started whispering to himself. "Oh god, I was raised by a gay couple, of course I'm adopted, oh my god how am I gonna..."

 

  
Zac burst into laughter again, this time he laughed so hard he had to lean on the lockers for support. "Jesus, you are the cutest guy in the world! Why do you like that Danforth anyway, I would treat you better if you chose me instead."

 

  
"Stop _laughing_!" Ryan held his head in his hands, freaking out.

 

  
"Man, relax. Anyone in this world can get pregnant and make babies, so you're not adopted." Zac patted his shoulder.

 

  
"Anyone can get pregnant?" Ryan widen his eyes again, colors leaving his face every second. " _Anyone_?"

 

  
"Yep. Anyone." The guy nodded. Ryan looked down at his belly, looked up at him, and held his middle defensively, _paled_. "Oh, and that means you also gonna have periods. Like girls."

 

  
Ryan let out a sound of a dying animal.

 

  
"And I can't reverse the spell." Zac crossed his arms. "You're staying here until the spell broke, and I set the deadline until you've conquer your high school sweetheart, so you gotta learn how to deal with it. Seduce Chad Danforth, now, or you're staying here forever."


	4. A whole new world

Ryan closed his eyes and breathed in slowly, letting his lungs filled with the fresh air and his mind calmed by the peaceful, quiet atmosphere of the large room. He changed into a different position on the yoga mat without opening his eyes and continued with the difficult work of clearing his panic brain. This world seemed to be squeezing sanity out of his body every second past, and the last days were nothing more than a string of minor heart attacks for the blond. Next to him, his mo...his papa hummed lightly, and he had to gather every strength to remain calm and not freaking out again.

 

  
He had a dream about living in a world full of hot, needy gay guys where he was the center of attention and desire once, but the idea was so tempting then. Only now when he really had the chance of truly existing in a similar world, he could realized how overwhelming everything around him could become. He had gone through the past week to try to adapt to this strange world. He had to go around, learn about how things work, opened every book to see how Romeo ended up loving Mercutio, how Barack Obama was married to a man named Michael Obama, or how Harry Potter got a secret relationship with Draco Malfoy. And how Mozart fell in love with his best friend Haydn, and how the little mermaid actually rescued a princess from the sunken ship rather than a prince. This world was full of surprise, turning everything upside down, or sometimes turned the story into a completely different direction. After spending days wandering in the Evans manor's library and the internet, he slowly got a little used to the norm in this world. Heterosexual people are not widely approved, and they were fighting to have the same rights as gay couples, which made Ryan chuckled. He was so glad to see his parents remained the same instead of his father marrying his best friend or his mother marrying her personal expert of beauty products. Even when the feelings of suddenly having two dads instead of a mom and a dad were still new, his new papa was nothing different from his mom, so he stopped freaking out very quickly. Just sometimes he flinched from the strange look, but other than that, he could fit in well. He apologized for the things he said the other morning, and his dads accept the apology with warm smiles. He even made them breakfast to proved how sorry he was for being disrespectful, and his papa kept pinching his cheeks while rambling about how he was such a nice ducky. Of course, he made a subtle hint by rubbing the kitchen counter until it shone before every meal in three days straight with a large bottle of cleaning liquid branded " _Ryan's traumatized tears_ " in order to remind them of the inappropriate make out, so he was sure they would never repeat the same thing again.

 

  
But his parents were not the biggest problem of change he had to face. East High, with an entirely different network of relationships between the students, was his most difficult task. And he also had to learn what he was doing in this world, too. One of the coolest thing was that Ryan was the school hottest, most desirable guy. Not Troy, not Chad, but Ryan. Every guy lusted after him, and even some girls. He received compliments and wanting eyes all the time he walked through the hallway, and he had to admit, it felt so good. He always thought of himself as a humble, neutral kind of person after living in Sharpay's shadow for too many years, but oh the desire for attention was burning through him. He loved being admired, he loved being number one, and he loved being the person most of the guys in school think about when they touch themselves at night. And he was not the East High's primo boy just because he was hot, good at dancing, or an excellent performer of the Drama club. It was also because he was the captain of the school's baseball team. Yes, the thought was extremely alien to him the first time he heard it, but he soon grew fond of it when he had the chance to play the sport he used to enjoy so much again. And bossing people around, that too. He never realized he missed the sport this much until he played a game against Chad in the summer, and now his wish had been fulfilled. He got a team of Wildcats on his own, and they were more amazing than anything he could ask for. Just one problem: Chad was one of them too.  
And suddenly he turned back into that desperate, needy, pathetic Ryan all over again. He stared at Chad all the time after every of the team's practice, but never gathered enough courage before he stood up, say goodbye and jumped to the practice with the basketball team. It was frustrating and annoying, like sharing your boyfriend with another guy. Only this time Chad wasn't his boyfriend, so he basically had no right to ask him to kick the flirting son of a bitch out of his life. Also, basketball was more important than some random son of a bitch, and Ryan knew he would never ask Chad to choose.

 

  
He then turned his attention to the asshole theoretically ex-boyfriend of his and glared. Zac dutifully broke up with him the other day so he could have his chance with Chad. He was a stupid fairy and his stupid magic pissed Ryan off. That was not a gay insult, he was really a freaking fairy. He told Ryan that when they finally had time to discuss the matter, and he said he was the fairy of love. Ryan wished he was like all the fairies in Tinker Bell, focusing on their jobs to make nature looks like itself instead of nosing in human's lovelife, but he didn't have the fancy. Zachary Florent, was the matchmaker fairy, whose job was to make up couples and help them to get together. The first day he went to East High, he was thrilled with all of the strong affections blooming around him, and wandering around to wave his stupid magic hands to make people fall in love, until he saw the gigantic dark cloud over Ryan's head. The blond rolled his eyes at the words, and Zac continued. He was new to the fairy job, so it was the first time he saw someone so depressed, bitter and hopeless for love. He then paid attention to Ryan, and with his stupid fairy magic, he found out Ryan's unrequited crush for Chad and he immediately decided to do something. The flirting was just a way for him to get close to Ryan and understand him better. And after a few weeks of consideration, he finally cast the most significant spell he had ever made, to turn this world into a gay world, just like Ryan said to him. Since then, he never stopped pouring encouragements and threats down the blond's head to make him ask Chad out, but the blond was stubborn and delaying his plan on purpose to piss him off. He pissed Ryan off, Ryan pissed him off, and Ryan still hadn't confess to Chad.

 

Ryan also had to get use to the fact that everybody's girlfriends and boyfriends suddenly changed. He struggled to remember who went with who, and eventually stopped trying. The relationships were extremely troublesome, and he was still in the process of knowing them, much less remember them. It was like learning new words in Spanish, slowly, despacito-ly, only a couple of relationships a day so he could stuff them into his head. But he felt strange when none of his friends in the old world had a relationship with anyone. Sharpay was single, just broke up with her most recent cheerleader girlfriend, Gabriella and Troy were no longer a couple, and Kelsi had the same goal to marry her piano in the future.

 

And he was being cruelly friendzoned by Chad. He couldn't understand how they were best friends, but Chad said so while using his thighs to be a pillow to pass out in the drunken after victory party, so he swallowed hard and sat still. Some people teased them of having a secret relationship, but Chad laughed and wiped the topic away before Ryan had any chance to react. Having Chad around hugging his shoulders and patting his back while calling him best friend one time to another was making everything harder.  
Yoga was his best escape from the messy thoughts in his head, so he went on a yoga class with his papa after practice to find some peace in his mind. Dealing with a new world and trying to get out of the friendzone were sucking energy out of him. Well, at least he was the best friend instead of a stranger this time. Maybe only second to Troy, and that gave him the thinnest hope that someday he could upgrade best friend into boyfriend. Hopefully so.

 

  
His phone rang loudly, and he slipped down from his flamingo position to pick up the phone and look at the screen. Ah, another thing in this world that he had to get use to.  
"Ryan Evans from the East High's Straight rights association. How can I help you?"  
There was a sobbing girl's voice on the other side, and he had to cover his other ear to listen to her slurry words. After fifteen minutes of trying to make out what she was talking about other than "crush on a boy", "parents gonna kill me" and "this is bad", he sighed.

 

  
"Okay, where are you now? I'll pick you up and we'll talk about this, okay?" The blond sighed again. "Yes, I even have a spare shoulder in case you have two crying heads. Just text me the adress and try taking deep breaths when I'm on my way. Don't freak out, I'm gonna help you get through this. No, you're not gonna die from liking boys, just-just breathe. Breathe."

 

  
He hanged up the phone and turned to his papa, grabbing the bag to go to the changing room. "Papa, I'm going out to rescue this straight girl. You and dad are having dinner out tonight, right? Have fun." He came in closer to kiss him on the cheek. And paused before added. "But not too much fun, I'm having enough siblings here."

 

  
.  
.  
.

 

  
He came home after a long evening trying to calm the girl down. He hadn't gone through a day of dealing with confused gay people yet, but he guessed it couldn't be worse than that. It was funny seeing a girl crying a river because she had feelings for a boy. It was ridiculous, and he had to bit his inner cheeks to stop himself from snorting laughter everytime she hiccuped. He already helped a few cases like this in the weeks he stayed in this world: seemed like an association led by the most popular guy in school drew a lot of attention, and with people's narrow-minded opinions about straight love here, the straights almost had no where else to go to for help. Thank god Kelsi was still his best friend who was a girl, and still his co-president. She helped half of the cases, and was willing to assist Ryan in the other half. He was skeptical at first, wasn't sure if he wanted to do the work, but after seeing a few of his baseball teammates got mocked and discriminated and even bullied for being straight, he made the decision.

 

It was unfair and cruel to forbid people from loving who they wanted to, and he had the balls to stand up to it in the old world. There was no way he would abandon the ones that needed his help and guide now. Straight people in this world were just as lost as gay people in the old world, and he already promised to be their hero and save them. He founded this association not because he was gay, but because he believed everyone had the right to love, so he continued to dedicate his time and effort. Not just advices for confused straight teenagers, but also advices and encouragements for the parents that weren't subtle enough to understand their children. A long and strenuous path, but he charmed his way past it like the dancer he was, and things went well. It was also a good method to get his mind off the difficult task with Chad, and the way straight girls hugged him tightly and the way straight guys said thank you were worth the wait.

 

  
Zac was also a member of the association, and he seemed strongly touched by this. He was always the sentimental fairy of love, what to question about that. But his eyes looking at Ryan the moment he exclaimed loudly enough for all of the hall to hear, "Oh my god, we don't get to choose who we love!" were saying everything. Pride. Shock. _Adore_. The way his face shifted into a loving smile when he saw how Ryan calmed down the freaking out straight people, or clearing their confused questions with gentle, warm voice. And one night, after the two of them done helping a couple of gay parents how to support and show love to their straight son, on the way home, he grabbed Ryan for a kiss on his lips. The blond put a finger on the other one's lips and whispered to him, "Careful now, Florent, how am I gonna ask Chad out if you're still acting like my boyfriend?"


	5. A pathetic needy little shit

Ryan was one hundred percent certain that he was gonna ask his parents to replace the kitchen counter. And if they refused, he would probably have to refill the "Ryan's traumatized tears" bottle again to spray on the counter and rub it again tomorrow morning. Because just when he thought he was adapting pretty well in this world, another thing came up and messed up his head. For example, the moment he came home and walked into the kitchen, he saw his sister making out with another girl on the same counter that his parents made out on weeks ago. It was not the horror part of the story, because he was an eighteen year old boy with a healthy sex drive and had watched enough porn to remain expressionless. The horror part was that Sharpay was making out with Gabriella. Gabriella, in Gabriella Montez, a close friend of his, genius girl, Troy's girlfriend in the straight world and Taylor's ex girlfriend in the gay world. Currently making out with Ryan's twin sister when he accidentally walked in.

 

  
Lucky this time he didn't scream, though. The dark haired girl was sitting on the counter top, legs wrapped loosely around Sharpay's thighs and arms looped around her shoulders, while the blonde held her hips and kissed her enthusiastically. They were so into their own world that they didn't even see him standing their in the threshold, and he kept freezing there, staring, terrified. Everytime he started getting use to something, like being in the middle of the messy rain of open mouthed kisses from his teammates after every victory, he was thrown off balance by something even more unbelievable. Sharpay, who bore an ocean of jealousy and hate for Gabriella in his world for "stealing" her supposed boyfriend, now clearly showed some pretty opposite opinions towards the star of the chemistry club. At least none of the "status quo" was different in this world, other than Ryan's double love for the theater and the baseball field.

 

  
He stood there, wasn't sure if he should clear his throat so they would acknowledge of his existence, or just simply ignored everything and went to bed. He was exhausted after giving the emergency therapy to one of his straight people tonight, so the second idea sounded a lot better. The encouraging whimpers obviously came from Gabriella, who he had never had the chance to see being anything more than innocent, and Sharpay's low chuckled made he shivered, head spinning and suddenly had the unquenchable urge to throw up. Another second of seeing his beloved sister doing inappropriate things to the Gabriella and he would pass out. No, he was not being homophobic, that's ridiculous, he was being Sharpayphobic here, a rather common phobia in any world he lived in. So he guessed he could deal with seeing Sharpay kissing her used-to-be rival later, when he had the energy. But right when he took the first step across the kitchen to get upstairs, Gabriella saw him and yelped. Both girls shifted their eyes to him, and Sharpay quickly cut off any sentence that was about to come out of his mouth.

 

  
"I can explain."

 

  
Ryan was tired, he really was. All he needed was a warm shower and his soft, inviting bed in his quiet, crisis-less room so he could rest. But he hated the nosy part of himself so much for stopping his legs from walking away right now. The prying bitch.

 

  
"Explain." He said bluntly, and they started untangling themselves from each other to face him.

 

  
"First, do not tell daddy and papa about this." The same old intimidating Sharpay. "They can't know I made out with my girlfriend on the counter."

 

  
He was taken aback a little, realizing they wasn't about to actually explain why they ended up dating, but his brain immediately spinned around to find the most reasonable explain for this, something he had been mastering everyday in this messed up world. He probably missed the sights of them kissing and snuggling at lunches and after school, since he was drowned in the infinite amount of work to do in classes, his Straight rights association, the Drama club and the baseball team. They must have been dating for a while now, and being the solo performer he was, completely independent of Sharpay, he guessed he let the news slipped through his head without paying attention. Yeah, his head started hurting less now, with senses flooding in it.

 

  
A smirked bloomed across Ryan's cheeks, and quickly turned into a mischievous grin. "Oh, you know nothing, beloved sister."

 

  
"I mean it, don't." She glared at him, and he laughed.

 

  
"I'm not gonna tell." He brushed her cautious protest away. "So, what are you trying to explain?"

 

  
"This might look bad to you." She gestured with her hands. "That we could be having real sex in the next five minutes."

 

  
"That's not a certain?" Ryan raised his eyebrow, clucked his tongue. "Dissapointed in you, sis."

 

  
"But," She growled. "But, we are actually leaving. For my room. In a second."

 

  
"Can't believe I've been standing there for a whole long second. Wow." He fluttered his eyelashes, and Sharpay looked like she wanted nothing more than strangle him to death.

 

  
"And we're going right now, so this conversation never happened. You never saw anything." She pulled Gabi off the counter and led the girl upstairs.

 

  
"Just remember to use protection, I'm not ready for being an uncle in the meantime." He called after her, and chuckled pitifully to himself. Ryan Evans, the responsible fifth-wheel whose top priority was to remind people to stop making more children. His parents were probably having sex in some fancy hotel right now, his sister and her girlfriend would be doing the same thing in a minute, and look at him: alone, single, and stuck in the legendary friendzone.

 

  
He slowly walked upstairs, heading to his room, wondering if what he was doing was the right choice. This world changed every perception of him about everything, spinning him around like a record, on the verge of giving heart attacks every single day, but the longer he stayed here, the more he grew to love it. There were so many problems, and sometimes his reactions to the so called normal things in this world made him look like an idiot to other people, but it was fun opening his eyes everyday, excited to discover new things. And he might not have admitted it, but being in a place completely homophobia-free like this was just a blessing. He was supposed to say he was out and proud, he feared nothing from those horrible homophobic people, and he was strong enough to never get hurt by them, but sometimes it was hard. Pretending not to be hurt when people unconsciously insult, mock or humiliate you was not always easy. And well, in this world, no one did that to him anymore. Yes, heterophobic was the replacement, but he was not heterosexual in this world, meant he could finally be released from all the burden of being discriminated.

 

Zac said if he found a way to seduce Chad into dating him, the spell would be broken and he was straight back into the homophobic world. And he was too selfish to accept that. In any world, there would always be some people had to go through pain. But if he got to choose, he would make sure he wasn't one of those people. Maybe it was time for him to stop struggling and really take this place as the world of his own, and leave the idea of trying to have Chad to himself. Maybe this was his chance to move on. No longer hurting because of Chad, no longer tossing and turning at night wondering why he was never good enough for the boy. Everybody was gay, and he was the hottest guy in school. He could totally find another fish in the sea without lifting his finger.

 

  
His phone rang, and he reached over the stand next to the bed to pick it up. Didn't bother to look at the name on the screen, just swiped and listened to the voice from the other side. And it struck him harder than he could imagine.

 

  
"Hey, Ry," The strong, alive, warm and familiar voice drowned him, and he stopped breathing.

 

  
"...What's the occasion?" He managed to burst out, still stunned from the nauseous feeling rising in his chest.

 

  
"Nothing," Chad replied. "Just wondering if you're okay, we haven't seen you in the team's recent parties, and we're not talking as much as before, so I wanted to check."

 

  
"Sorry, the work is too busy." The blond said, tried not to let his voice shiver. Damn it, he cursed. He was about to give up on Chad, he almost did it, and then the guy had to call.

 

  
"We kinda miss you." Chad must be biting his lip. "Me and the team."

 

  
"You guys have just seen me yesterday." Ryan smiled weakly.

 

  
"But, you know, you...don't chat or talk with us much in the locker room anymore. You just focused on practicing baseball, and after that you left." He paused sometimes in the sentence.

 

  
"Too busy, sorry." Ryan repeated, angrily clawed at his thigh. Idiot. His plan of getting over Chad was perfect: he slowly distance himself from him and the team, obediently stay in his friendzone land, and eventually disappear from the guy's sight. And then he could be happy living in the world of rainbows. But he just had to pick up the fucking phone.

 

  
"I'm just asking if..." Chad nervously tapped his finger on the armrest. "You can come to the welcoming Troy home party tomorrow? I mean I know it's about basketballers and, you probably aren't interested, but it was a big party, lots of people came, even Sharpay and Gabriella, so I guess I should ask."

 

  
Oh right, Troy had been off state to attend an exchange student program that could brighten up his already blinding basketball scholarship in the U of A. That's what people said: He had never seen the guy since he got here.

 

  
"I'll think about it." Ryan muttered, but immediately added when he thought of letting Chad down, such a pathetic needy little shit. "Think about choosing the right outfit for the party."

 

  
"Well, just pick something red, white or gold would be fine." Chad beamed, and Ryan quickly changed the subject.

 

  
"Hey, what do you think of Dave today? There must be some problems with him, right?" He asked, trying to buy himself some more time to have the chance of hearing more of that warm, steady voice.

 

  
He even earned a laugh. "You tell me. I think the guy had just gotten laid by someone so good he got distracted by just everything! No wonder he walked funny!"

 

  
"Maybe his account on pornhub expired." Ryan smiled, and he got to hear the laugh again.

 

  
"It's not like everybody had the money for a premium account like you, _Mr. Evans_." Chad mocked the name he had to call Ryan in Lava Springs all summer, and the blond wanted to slap himself for getting hard so easily. Or maybe he had already been hard the moment he picked up the phone and heard that voice, he wouldn't know. He couldn't stop imagining how the other boy would say that title while in bed with him, giving and serving like the waiter he was, and he quickly pulled his pants off.

 

  
"Tell me what you peasants watch with those 30 days trial accounts of yours." The blond laughed breathily, and close his eyes, started working his hand. He got to find a way to get Chad talking until he relieved all of this tension.

 

  
The other guy was completely oblivious of the meaning behind that challenge. He smirked and started detailing all of the dirty things that he could remember watching from his account, and Ryan bit his lip to stop the noises from coming out. He was coherent enough to put on loud speaker and throw the phone to the other side of the bed so Chad wouldn't hear his rapid breaths, and he sincerely showed his pity to himself. There were thousands of people around the world having sex right now, including his parents and his sister. And here he was, jerking off listening to the voice of his high school sweetheart, and watching his plan crashed and burned dramatically.


	6. Making a decision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was pissed at myself for having written 5 chapters of Ryan desperately fell for Chad and not letting Chad appeared for one second. I almost tried to delete the lastest chapters to rewrite them, but then I decided to make Ryan and Chad closer this chapter.

Ryan did choose a red and white outfit for the party. He spent his time styling his hair just to put a red fedora on it, and considering carefully before picking up the white t-shirt with a bright red jacket and skinny jeans. Sharpay would be the only one noticed the clothes he wore, since he was going to a jock party, but that didn't mean he should pay any less attention to his look. He was a disaster, but he better be a damn pretty one. Dress-to-depress was one of his titles, and he got to live up to it.

 

 

  
He doubted if his sister would spend a fracture of her precious time for a jock party instead of planning and scheming her way in the next music production of the Drama club, but turned out a close friend of Gabriella in the Science class was dating a guy in the basketball team, so she was definitely going and towing Sharpay with her. The thought of seeing his sister listening and putting someone else's want above her own was still foreign to him, but it came to him that since the moment he set foot in this world, she had been so much less obnoxious than ever before, and now he might get the idea why. It was not only Gabriella's innocent and purely kind effects on Sharpay, but also how she wasn't trying to win over Troy's heart anymore. He couldn't believe he was that oblivious for not realizing it sooner: suddenly everything she talked to him was not about Troy, or snarling at any girl that came near him, anymore. She was still the savage, cold-hearted beast he had always loved and adored, but having Gabi around put some calmness in her. Without all the frustration and hopeless stubborn schemes to get something that would never be hers, Sharpay turned out to be a lot more bearable to Ryan. Such a shame she pushed him aside like a used, broken toy just to have Troy in the other world. Seeing her finally having someone that made her happy and satisfied made him smiled.

 

 

 

But then after that, he frowned. Because the happier Sharpay and Gabriella were together, the more pissed off he was with the relationship between Chad and him. That boy made him jumped from a side to the other non-stop in the past days, and now he couldn't really know what he truly wanted. The more difficult task also had sweet reward, the the easier one also had some drawbacks. He could continue his operation of making Chad Danforth his, because he was confident that he was hot enough to crawl himself out of the friendzone, but then after he got Chad, he had to give up this wonderful, carefree gay world that he was born to live in. The problem was, he loved this world too much. Or he could ignore Chad, gave up on the guy to accept his life here and started dating some new other guys, enjoying his dream world. The problem was, he couldn't tear his eyes away from Chad for once, much less stop crushing on him. It was so stupid to keep holding onto such feelings, he knew, but he tried so hard to forget and ignore the churning of his stomach to finally get over the guy, and suddenly a question, or some eye contact and he fell down the hole again.

 

 

 

Like, he could be mad at himself for not being able to give up, or mad at Chad for some reasonable things he did like not performing well in practice or being late, but the guy just needed to pick up the cap he dropped on the ground for him or ask him about his minor knee injury and all of his anger evaporated. He hated that, he really really did. So he fell into a loop of "screw Chad, I don't fucking give a shit about him anymore" in one moment and jumping to "God, I really miss his laugh" the next. For example, he just wanted to bail on Chad to stay home tonight and leaving the parties to the guys, but then Gabi came and asked about Chad and he decided to get up and change, but then he imagined how many times the guy would address him as his best friend or best teammate in the next hours, so he dropped back to his bed saying he was staying home, but then Zac called him about the party, saying the location changed from Troy's house to Chad's house, meant if he stayed a bit later, he could have some time alone with Chad, and he got up from the bed to get dress again. Maybe Zac suggested Chad the idea so he could push Ryan forward and confess his feelings for Chad, he didn't know. But maybe it's time.

 

 

  
The blond drove to the party with all sorts of thoughts in his head, heart pounding with the decision. He had been torturing himself enough torn between "what if"s. Maybe it's time for him to finally make a choice and never look back. Chad greeted him at the front door the moment he stepped out of the car, and he took some time so Chad could stand there and admire his fancy ride a bit, smile on his lips. He was still such a child with an uncontrollable excitement for cars, and it was pretty adorable. Yeah, the guy might have changed a lot in high school years: from a shallow, selfish and stubborn jock who made Ryan loathe every school project they had to participate together (He really hated Chad then. The arrogant way he thought of nothing but basketball and the despise he showed for anything art-related, even Ryan. Especially Ryan.) into the hottest, sexiest basketballer who was caring, thoughtful and nice.

 

 

 

A real gentleman, he could say. The changes almost shocked Ryan when he looked back, but also gave him a tiny bit of pride, knowing he was the main part of that. If it wasn't for him and the baseball game, Chad would never change his look at things, right? Well, if he didn't count Troy. Yeah, Troy was actually the one that changed Chad's opinions about theater, Troy turned him from a selfish guy to a selfless friend, and Taylor turned him to a gentleman. In this world, maybe Troy was also the one who did that too. The Troy, who was the reason this party was created in the first place, had finally come home to kick Ryan to the second place in Chad's mind. Even if it was just in a friendly way. Chad hadn't been seen dating or kissing anyone since the first day Ryan came, so he thought he might have a chance.

 

 

  
"So," Chad put his arm on Ryan's shoulders and led him inside the house, where the music started to get louder and the smell of alcohol already filled the air. "Ready for some fun?"

 

 

  
"It's not like I've never had fun in my life, Danforth." Ryan rolled his eyes as he followed, reached up a hand to wrap around Chad's wrist on the other side of his shoulder. He was nervous around his crush, but the ability of acting natural was his gift, he was not the shy, stuttering and blushing type.

 

 

  
"I've never seen you drunk." The curly haired boy's eyebrows furrowed, and Ryan shrugged. Something never changes.

 

 

  
"I'm gonna turn into a monster when I'm drunk." He looked around and waved to anyone he knew, letting Chad touring him around the house. "My fun could stay in dancing, watching you guys doing terrible, humiliating things while you're drunk and record those for further blackmailing."

 

 

  
"Har har," Chad rolled his eyes. "Wondering how many videos of me you got there."

 

 

  
"Enough to force you to do my homework for me til the end of the year." Or force you to be my boyfriend til the end of the year. "But as the amazing, good friend I am, I'd rather use it in a more serious occasion."

 

 

  
They wandered around the party for god knows how long, saying hi to the newcomers, and talking utterly nonsense with each other. Even in the old world, they could already spend time talking and lazily doing nothing with each other, just the two of them, for a what seemed like a decade without a second of bored. It made the nervousness in Ryan's gut melt away, loving the warm, comfortable way they shared the most bullshit stories in the world and somehow could still genuinely laughed at the jokes. The attempts of avoiding Chad slowly to get over him that Ryan made turned into dust (if there was still anything left from the jerk off last night), as he craved for the way they chat like a starving man craved for food, even when he knew it was poisoned. Chad was more difficult, he still wasn't sure if Chad was carrying poison inside him or not. But just talked to him made Ryan's heart felt light, so he didn't stop. He could feel Zac's hopeful gaze at him from somewhere in the room, and felt like he was a fish went straight for the guy's hook. But Chad was such a sweet bait that he couldn't ignore.

 

 

  
"What kind of monster when you're drunk, anyway?" Chad quickly changed the subject, and the blond laughed.

 

 

  
"A guy said I succeeded in clearing up the full fridge at his house in just one night when I was drunk, I left nothing that could be count as food, from the spinach to the canned tuna and I even tried to bite off a raw potato when they finally stopped me, or my teeth would be all chipped by now." Ryan muttered. "And some other guys said I turned into a horny lustful beast when I had alcohol in my system, like I'd kiss and take anyone's clothes off to make out with them at anywhere, in anytime."

 

 

  
Chad chuckled, looked at him with curious eyes that make him couldn't stop talking, even when those were the deepest, darkest, most embarrassing secrets.

 

 

  
"Kelsi said I cried a river everytime she saw me drunk. Weeping, whining and moping on the floor about my ex, who broke up with me since elementary school." He lied, it was Chad. He moped because he couldn't have Chad. "And Sharpay said I was the self-destruction kind of drunk, like I would do horrifying things like assaulting my, another, ex in front of his house or exploiting my credit card, buying hats." So instead of letting him go tackle Chad to the ground, she led him to his favorite fashion shop and left him there. "I don't know who to believe."

 

 

  
"Imagine the number of hats you would have if you got drunk as many times as you should." The boy laughed, and Ryan shrugged.

 

 

  
"Doesn't sound that bad." The blond looked at Chad, the way his eyes shone when he cackled, like it could brighten up the whole room, and his heart rates went up again. Chad was so close. Only inches away from him, he could tiptoe and kiss the boy right there and then. And he was so close to be Ryan's. Only a confession away. He could wait. He could wait until the party was over and he had some time alone with Chad, and then he would tell Chad how much he wanted to kiss him.

 

 

  
"Well, if you say so," Chad held up a paper cup full of heavily spiked punch, probably vodka. "Let me see what type of drunk you really are."

 

 

  
"Oh, no, thanks." Ryan rolled his eyes and pushed the cup away. "I have my reputations to keep."

 

 

  
"Right," Chad raised his eyebrow. "And what are reputations for if you're already the hottest guy in school no matter what?"

 

 

  
"I don't know, some guys might stop wanting me if they saw me breaking my teeth with a raw potato," Ryan grinned, aimed his teasing to someone, anyone but Chad. "And this party is for Troy, right, I gotta keep my image in front of him. He's a potential target."

 

 

Chad went quiet and stared. After a few seconds, he stuttered, "You wouldn't..."

 

 

  
"Chad, hey!" Speaking of the devil, Ryan cracked a fake smile when he saw Troy ran from the door to Chad. And froze when the two of them met.

 

 

  
In a messy, wet French kiss that was nothing more than a burning piece of coal thrown at his eyes. They kissed like they had never kissed before in their lives, all teeth and tongues and groping hungrily at each other's body. The cup of punch fell to the ground as Chad held Troy close to him and they intertwined into a mess of limbs. Ryan could see both of their smiles in the kiss, like they couldn't stop themselves from grinning like idiots when they saw each other. He couldn't move, just stood there, staring at them until they finally done sucking each other's lips and Chad broke into laughter in relief, holding Troy close while Troy tried to remove his jacket to get to the second phase, nipping his neck. Luckily, he wasn't the only one staring, everybody else in the room was staring at them too, and they all chuckled and grinned, whistling and clapping their hands.

 

 

  
"Get a room, you two!" A guy yelled, and the whole room burst into laughter. They broke apart as everyone jumped in to ask about Troy's trip, shaking his hand and giving him welcoming hugs. Troy was handsome when he smiled too, not moving away from Chad for an inch, letting Chad's arm loop around his waist and leaned onto him all the time. Suddenly, it struck Ryan how perfect they looked for each other. Happy, understanding, rock solid. Everyone was dying to see them together. The flawless, impeccable golden couple that Ryan somehow didn't have the chance to come across the whole months he stayed here, just like Gabriella and Sharpay. His oblivion was gonna kill him someday.

 

 

Ryan grabbed the bottle of vodka and walked out of the crowd.


	7. A peasant over a prince

"How could you not _know_?" The blond glowered, hands tightened around the glass so hard he might break it. He tilted his head, slowly stepped closer to Zac and the boy immediately took another step back.

 

 

  
"I'm... I'm sorry, I just..." He tried to explain, face miserable as he twisted his hands together guiltily.

 

 

  
"You claimed to be, what," Ryan rolled his eyes, sneered at him, "The fucking _god of love_ and you pushed me into this mess to prove your point but you don't even fucking know he's _taken_?!"

 

 

  
"I really didn't know, I had never seen him with anyone and..." The boy stuttered, raised his hands defensively when Ryan got closer and his back touched the wall.

 

 

  
"You should have known!" The blond bared his teeth and he looked just like a wolf about to swallow Zac alive. "This world might be different, but there is one thing that could never be changed, is that everyone has everyone! If it's not Taylor, then it's someone else."

 

 

  
"I'm really sorry, Ryan, I would never hurt you like that on purpose." Zac bit his lip and look down, guilt took over his whole figure.

 

 

  
The blond didn't reply, he returned to his previous spot and poured another shot of some liquor that he didn't care which brand it was, just let the burning taste of his took over his throat. It was a mistake, refusing alcohol everytime, he realized five hours ago. The taste was so fucking great he had gulped down more than a bottle and still wanted more. The vodka was brilliant, setting his system on fire so he couldn't feel the hurt in his throat and the corner of his eyes when he drank, drank and cried. This one, he narrowed his eyes tried to make out the name in the dark, was even better. He really should drink more often, seriously, all of the sleepless nights, sobbing and hating the world would be so much easier and more pleasant with the strong alcohol. Full to the brim everytime, so if some droplets of transparent liquid dropped on his hand, he would think of it was the spilt liquor, not the pathetic tears in his eyes that couldn't stop rolling off his cheeks.

 

 

  
He tried to hold the tears in, didn't want to appeared weak and needy, but a few drinks later and he knew that's the best way to get rid of all the emotions. "So, where have you been?" He glanced at the dark skin boy, sudden wave of hate swollen in his gut as he mistook him for Chad in a second. "DJing the nice music, turning on romantic songs for the golden couple and finding a way to show how much you wanted to finally see them back together?"

 

 

  
"I was looking for you, but I couldn't find you anywhere." Zac muttered.

 

 

  
"I wish people were that supportive in the old world." Ryan blinked, letting his feet hanging in the air, voice turned sarcastic and bitter. " _Oh my god, you're finally back, Troy, Chad had been missing you like crazy! Oh my god, my little sentimental heart broke when you two said goodbye the time you left for the program! You two's relationship is the role model that I wish to have with my future girlfriend!"_

 

 

  
"Ryan, could you please get in here?" Zac desperately called out, and the blond burst into laughter.

 

 

  
"Why, you think I'm gonna do something stupid?" He gestured down, as he was sitting on the edge of Chad's roof, feet hanging off and could fall three stories down to his backyard in a second. "I'm not gonna jump, dummy! I just enjoy being somewhere quiet, eat my favorite...whatever it is, and drink _this_." He raised his glass. "Want some, fairy?"

 

 

  
"Ryan, come on." Zac sighed, climbed out of the window and approached him. The blond suddenly looked down.

 

 

  
"Unless I can land _right_ on Troy Bolton's head." He pouted, reached up to wipe tears out of his view. "Then yeah, I'm so gonna jump."

 

 

  
"Don't." The curly haired boy cut him off. "Take my hand and let me pull you in."

 

 

  
"Hey, is it selfish of me to hate Troy?" Ryan craned his neck to look at him."He had never done anything wrong to me. At least in this world. And then suddenly I despised the sight of him. I tried to look at him once or twice this evening, you know. I just wanted to puke I had to get away from there." He blinked. "I just wanted to jump in between them and punch them both in the face. I'm just so upset with their existance. I hate Chad now, you don't even have to worry. That blind, stupid, _disgusting_ son of a bitch. What does that loser Troy have that I don't? I'm popular. I'm rich. I'm hot. I'm a killing baseballer. I can sing, I can dance, and my grades are not that good, but still better than him."

 

 

  
"You're drunk, Ryan. And are in a dangerous place."

 

 

  
"I never realized how stupid Danforth is. How could I liked him in the first place? He's just a pigheaded, dumb, brainless jock. Unlike me, the jock that actually has a brain and a heart. He didn't know what was the best for him. Hey, you know Kelsi told me the other day that I'd been crushing on him for forever and I'd been by his side for years without ever disappointing him? Instead he chose that... that dull, slick and, and, _boring_ loser! That _peasant_! Why would anyone in this world choose a _peasant_ over a _prince_?"

 

 

  
"Come on, we're going home." The other boy grabbed him and mercilessly dragged him back inside the house, despite the protest. The trail of wrappers, paper bags and empty boxes that all once contained food stretched from the kitchen to this spot, and pooled up into a pile on the roof. Ryan ate everything in Chad's fridge and cupboard, anything he found, as he enjoyed the alcohol. And cried and laughed bitterly all the way. His own sleeves were wet all over from wiping away too much tears, and his eyes already swollen.

 

 

  
"What, no, I'm not going home." The blond tried to pull back.

 

 

  
"You want Chad and Troy to see how miserable you are right now?" Zac's muscular arms eliminated all of Ryan's efforts. "You want them to _pity_ you? Especially Chad, he would treat you like a ticking time bomb if he knew you had a crush on him."

 

 

  
"Well they are probably fucking somewhere," Ryan rolled his eyes. "Who cares about this guy? Haha, primo boy my ass, even Sharpay got a girlfriend and I'm here playing the royal _cockblock_."

 

 

  
"You are drunk." Zac held his wrist firmly and left him no choice but to follow. "We're leaving, I'm gonna drive you home and you're going to bed."

 

 

  
"If I'm not staying here to see the happy glowing just gotten laid couple, I'm gonna be shopping." Ryan's voice was stubborn. "I need some new clothes. And hats. I'm gonna throw this one into the trash can. Or burn it."

 

 

  
"No, you're not going shopping." The dark-skinned boy picked him up like a rag doll and walked to his car, opened the door and threw him in. "When I say you're going home, you're going home. Not _one_ more word."

 

 

  
Zac didn't mean to sound so threatening, he went silent as fear flashed through Ryan's figure, and he sighed, stepped away quickly, muttered an apology. The blond looked up at him with wide, innocent ocean blue eyes, and before he could close the door, slim leg pushed it in place and two pale hands grabbed the front of his shirt to yank him into the car. Suddenly, a pair of stinging lips covered his own, flooding his senses with the heavy scent of alcohol that made him dizzy. God, he hated it so much. He could taste the liquor and salty tears on his lips, and also the bitterness, the anger, the hopelessness. But the boy didn't let go, clung onto him and swallowed his tongue hungrily, hands started fumbling to open his fly. Zac didn't know how the blond ended up on top, pinning his whole body down with his weight and sucking his neck, trying to expose more and more skin.

 

 

  
"Come on, _come on,_ " Ryan breathed hard in his ears, teeth gritted. "You are supposed to be my boyfriend, _cooperate_."

 

 

  
"Ryan, you're not thinking straight," Zac held his wrists, keeping it away from his clothes, pushing them against the blond's chest. "We're not doing anything. Get off me so I can take you home."

 

 

  
The other one didn't seem to care, he rolled his hips against Zac's and rubbed his hands all over his chest, licked his jaw eagerly and Zac had to gather all of his willpower to keep him away. Both of them were hard, Zac's shirt was half opened, his jeans slipped down his hips and he was gasping for air. The narrow space in the car was thick with the smell of alcohol, and the sweet scent of Ryan's flesh, still stood out mesmerizingly no matter how much he drank. They wrestled in the backseat: Ryan tried to turn him on more and snap his restraints so they could finally have sex, which was working very very well and Zac didn't know if he could resist any more second, and Zac's mind desperately quelled the lust in his body to control his arms and legs to give one, _hard_ , push.

 

 

  
The blond's back hit the window of the car away from Zac, as his chest heaved rapidly, blue, wet eyes stared at him burningly painful. Zac could feel the hurt branding in his chest like a hot piece of metal pressed on it. The tears that had just stopped rolling for a few minutes, started appearing again, wetting the soft, blond eyelashes. The expressions on his face fell apart as he laughed quietly. The voice was so broken Zac wanted to kill himself for putting the pain in it.

 

 

  
"Even _you_ don't want me anymore." Ryan let out a laugh that quickly turned into shivering sobs, and Zac sat up, held him close, letting his head leaning on his shoulder. The blond buried his face in the boy's shoulder and started sobbing uncontrollably, hands grabbed desperately on his back and trembled violently in his arms. Broken, breathless and heart-breaking painful sound filled the tight space, and Zac closed his eyes, caressed the blond's hair silently. _What has he done?_


	8. Friends

Ryan opened his phone to look at the latest message and sighed as he stuffed it back to his pocket, continued to walk down the hallway. It was another text from Zac, who was extremely worried about him it became really annoying these days. The guy was nice, he cared about Ryan genuinely, but he kept babbling non stop about how worried he was the night Ryan got drunk at Troy and Chad's party, and didn't stop eyeing him any time possible with obvious concern. He was subtle enough not to follow Ryan everywhere and asked him if he was okay all the time, but the way he stared at the blond worriedly at lunch and in the morning before the bell rang had already been too much. He hated being overprotected, he had gone through this in the other world when Kelsi found out his crush on Chad, and it was too exhausting he never wanted to be involved in something like that again. Kelsi pissed him off for weeks then, she held Ryan's hand every time Chad and Taylor kissed or flirt in front of everyone, she kept looking at him with those worried eyes and making him tea every time he saw her. She even said some cliché quotes about the selflessness of love and how people sacrifice for their loved one's happiness that slowly got in his nerves and eventually led to a big fight.

 

 

  
She meant well, but the way she treated him made him feel like he was pitied, and that was pretty unpleasant. She was so clingy and protective some guys rumored that Ryan was actually straight and made up the whole gay thing to get attention (he made sure they got what they deserved for talking shit, of course), and Ryan was fed up with it. Maybe it was just him, being grumpy and angry at everyone. But he was way passed that. He had a crush on Chad too late, after he had already dated Taylor, and they were so perfect for each other even Ryan's selfish heart couldn't imagine them separated. He was aware of Sharpay's ever failing attempts at breaking up Troy and Gabriella for a long time, and he knew better than to be blind and stubborn. He learned how to accept the fact that he couldn't always have what he wanted, something Sharpay still struggled to admit, and backed away from Chad. He still wanted Chad, and it might take a long time to get over him, but he could do it. Or so he thought.

 

 

  
Ryan shoved his hands into his pockets and strolled down the hall, heading to his locker. He hated having so much hope up and suddenly saw it crumbled and collapsed into nothing. He wasn't sure what he told and did to Zac the night he was drunk, he forgot about most of it the morning after, but considering the sorrow in his chest, the disastrous look he saw in the mirror and the way Zac worried about him, nothing was good. At least he wasn't this miserable when he had nothing. Now when he had everything, every chance to approach Chad, suddenly coming back to his exact place before was like having his last shard of hope crushed into pieces. Turned out no matter what world he was in, he was still stuck in the same spot, not an inch closer to Chad. Turned out he and Chad were not meant for each other, all the different worlds the same. Destroying people's happiness and forcing someone's affection to him were not something he would do, he was desperate, but hadn't sunk that low, so now he decided he better got back to his previous plan and... A bunch of people crowded next to the line of lockers on his left.

 

 

  
He was about to walk passed them, he _swore_ he was. He was not in the mood for any drama, his wounds were still opened and required a longer time for licking, so he just wanted to not give any shits about what those people were doing and went straight for his own locker to get his books. But it wasn’t just any crowd: it was a bullying, three tall, muscular jock, he recognized them from the football team, were surrounding a guy, trapping them between their sweaty bodies and the metal. They must have thought it was too early in the morning for anyone to walk into them in the hallway. Ryan didn’t see the guy, but he could hear his growl from three feet away.

 

 

  
“What does that have to do with you, asshole?”

 

 

  
_Tough guy_ , he thought as he ignored the scene and continued walking. _He must be handling everything well, he would be fine._ Usually, as the nice guy Ryan was, he would step in and intervene, but today was not that day. He couldn’t be everyone’s hero every day, could he?

 

 

  
“You straight little shit are a problem, cunt-eating fuck.” One of the assholes sneered at him, and Ryan stopped. He sighed in annoyance. _God, for just one day, could he ever have a break?_

 

 

  
“What are you doing to my friend there, Mr. Oh-my-swearing-vocabulary-is-so-amazing-I-have-to-show-it-to-somebody-right-now?” The blond turned around to glare at him.

 

 

Normally, someone with swollen eyes with dark rings under them and a face pale as a paper sheet would be not intimidating at all, but he was too tired to care. These guys had to know who he was, and they knew better than to piss him off.

 

 

  
“Great, the head of the fucking straight club is here.” Edward something, snarled as he turned side way and Ryan saw the victim standing among them. The guy was a familiar face, he was surprised he didn’t recognize his voice earlier. He was one of the football players, who came out as straight in front of the whole student body last week. Ryan took his case himself, and they discussed a lot about the matter before he made a move.

 

 

  
“And how’s the football team going? Three on one? With your own teammate? Where’s all the famous sportsmanship I’d always heard of?” Ryan tilted his head. The life of a jock and a theater nerd was far more interesting than just fully devoted to the drama club, as he found out there were so many different kinds of people all joined sports and showed their true colors without a second thought. And so many kinds of dickheads.

 

 

  
“Fuck off, douchebag.” Edward number two barked at him. “None of your straight ass business!”

 

 

  
He almost cackled. He still couldn’t help himself laughing whenever he heard some insults thrown at him about being straight. The way people acted like being straight was a disease in this world was hilarious. “First of all, being the founder of the Straight rights association doesn’t mean I’m straight. Please, if I was straight, I wouldn’t ask to be here in the first place. Second of all, I’m the head of the straight club, you just said that, so protecting my straight fellows is what I _supposed_ to do.”

 

 

  
His playful voice annoyed them, of course, getting on people’s nerves was his special talent. He just needed to mimic Sharpay and everything is done. One of the jocks left his place and slowly approached him, but he kept his head high and back straight. Hey, it’s the only straight thing in his body, so he _had_ to show it with pride.

 

 

  
“Do you want to _die_ , cunt?” Edward number three growled at him. The guy’s figure was tall, he towered over Ryan as he cracked his joints threateningly.

 

 

  
“My last name is Evans, dearie.” He muttered, unflustered. He knew his advantages, and he never failed to use them. “One _whisper_ and you’re living in the streets til the rest of your life. You, your mother, your father, your siblings. Do you want that, cunt? Do you like to turn your house into Evans Inc’s property by tonight?”

 

 

  
Clearly the guy still had something in his seemingly empty skull, Ryan sighed in relief internally. He hesitated, and the other two wavered. _Ah, the power of money_. The blond wasn’t in the mood for any punishing, so he reached behind his jeans to fish out his wallet and took three twenty dollar bills to put it in the jock’s hand. _Ah, the money of power._

 

 

  
“Leave Jeremy alone.” He hid his smirk as the other two bolted over to snap the bills off Edward number three’s hand. “And next time, buy some better insults.”

 

 

  
He usually let his money do all the hard work, he was rich, after all, and only in some occasions that he was not interested in seeing the assholes that treated him badly suffer. Usually, the problems were solved. Sometimes, when some unlucky asshole thought they could come back and ask for more, he made sure they knew the limits. Ryan walked over to ask if Jeremy was okay, and shooed him away before those three jocks turn around to see him. The boy was grateful, but he was upset to see how Ryan handled the situation. He didn’t want to be saved, especially by giving money as a reward to his bullies, but the blond patted on his shoulder, eyes said it all. _I’ll deal with them later._

 

 

  
Everything went smoothly, no violence, no scene, just a smart, subtle way of quelling the dickheads down without efforts. But Chad Danforth just had to jump in and messed up everything.

 

 

  
“Hey, what are you assholes doing?!” The boy came closer from the end of the hallway, feet moved quickly as he yelled. “Give the money back to Evans, now!”

 

 

  
“He gave it to us, Danforth.” One guy, great, he forgot what number he was, crossed his arms. “Fuck off.”

 

 

  
“They were bullying Milano and you gave them _money_?” Chad turned to Ryan, his voice raised in anger.

 

 

  
“I was taking care of the situation perfectly, Danforth.” Ryan rolled his eyes. This dick, well, was ten times harder to deal with then those dicks. “Everything’s done. Let it go.”

 

 

  
“What?!” He jumped over to Ryan, and to be honest, he had to keep himself from stepping back in fear. “How can I...”

 

 

  
“If you were so keen on being the knight in shining armor and rescuing innocent people, where were you when I tried to save him earlier?” The blond looked at him.

 

 

  
“How do I know when I should show up to school on time to save people from being beaten up?” Chad groaned frustratingly. “You should have _called_ someone!”

 

 

  
“Oh, you mean I can’t take care of these thugs myself so I gave them money and they spared my life?” Ryan snapped. “And I should call for your help so you can come and save both of us?”

 

 

  
“At _least_ I’m not gonna reward them for bullying people!” Chad was on borderline of yelling.

 

 

  
“I’m not rewarding them, Danforth. I’m just finding a solution that can get Jeremy out of this quickly without any trouble.” He would come back for them, god, why didn’t _anyone_ recognize that?

 

 

  
“They won’t stop just because you did that.” Chad frowned. “They will still go after Milano until they get what they want, you just encouraged them.”

 

 

  
“And what do you expect me to do?” Ryan laughed sarcastically. Oh, how much he hated this guy. Every second he looked at him, he saw stupidity. Dumb jock who had never known what was the right choice. Would never know. “Sorry, I’m no tough guy like you. If I started a fight, I would lose. And I would be beaten up, admit it, it’s three on one. And I would get into trouble with the principal, since I’m the one started the fight.”

 

 

  
“You should have called me instead!” Chad pressed his lips tight together.

 

 

  
“Why should I call you?” Blue eyes ran up and down Chad’s figure, and suddenly he felt exposed, like a doll being assessed in an auction. “You were going to jump in and scare them off? And they would never dare to threaten me or Jeremy again?”

 

 

  
“Well, I...” The dark-skinned boy stuttered in shock, and Ryan waved his hand dismissively.

 

 

  
“Great, the Edwards fled. And Jeremy is off the hook. Why do I bother standing here talking nonsense with you?” He turned and started walking away. His nails clawed into the inside of his palm as he tried not to freak out. Why did he do that? Why did he start a fight with Chad out of the blue like that? God, it was stupid. Chad would probably hate him after this. What was he thinking, causing a scene like this? He was being absolutely irrational--

 

 

  
“You should have called because I am your _friend_ , Ryan.” Chad ran after him, didn’t care about all the gazes shifted into him from all around the hall. Their argument went so far neither of them realized that the bullies left with Ryan’s money, Jeremy left for his class, and everyone was gathering in the hall to get to their lockers. And now all of them were looking at Ryan and Chad. He hissed. “Don’t think I don’t know you’ve been avoiding me for days now. I don’t know what I did wrong or what your problem was, but that is not how friends treat each other.”

 

 

  
Fury and pain burned in Ryan’s body as the word _friends_ cut through him like a hot knife. Of course he was just a friend, nothing more, Ryan laughed bitterly. He had only been a friend, in his world, for months, and in this world, for years. He couldn't understand how his other self could be Chad's friend and watched him dating another guy for years without failing to be the great friend he always was, because Ryan tried to be Chad's friend for only a few weeks and he's exploded. He was breathing hard, fingers closed tightly around the strap of his bag, his swollen red eyes started burning again.

 

 

"Okay, just to be clear, Danforth, we're **not** friends." He turned around to face Chad and growled. The other boy's entire face froze from shock. "I'm not your friend, and you mean _nothing_ to me, so if you want someone to follow you around like a lost puppy and weep in your arms after you saved him like a princess, go find Troy Bolton. I'm _done_."

 

 

  
For once in his life, he didn't look back at Chad as he walked away.


	9. Choices

Ryan Evans, Chad's best friend, was having a crush on Troy, Chad's boyfriend. That was what he concluded after so many days of thinking hard and abused his neurons furiously non stop. He wasn't sure, he was never sure about anything that involved Ryan in his life, but with every evidence he gathered and from what he observed, he thought it was the best explanation.

 

 

  
Ryan had never been predictable. Whenever someone told him women were the most confusing species in the world, Chad just chuckled and thought they had never met his blond best friend before. Ryan was more highly strung, melodramatic and flair than all of the cheerleaders combined. Sometimes, Chad had no idea why Ryan did what he did, even when he tried his best to understand, and eventually he gave up. Trying to guess how his brain worked to produce such a unique kind of reaction to every single thing was beyond Chad's ability, so he stopped thinking, just let the blond surprised him everytime. It could be annoying, when Ryan wanted something or giving him advices on the romantic aspect of his life, but he couldn't make out what the blond was trying to say. But it could also be flattering, when Ryan understood people too much and read them so easily. He always knew what Chad needed and gave him the best solutions to his problems, even when sometimes Chad didn't understand what he meant until everything was done.

 

 

  
He didn't understand Ryan, and he knew he would never be able to, but as far as he knew, the blond had been his best friend, best wingman, and the only one that always been there for him no matter what happened. They didn't know each other longer than Chad knew Troy, a few years shorter, but Troy was different. Troy was his boyfriend, in a romantic way, and Ryan was his friend. People didn't believe in a pure friendship between two men, but Chad did, because after all the time he spent with Ryan, nothing between them got messy. Ryan had never let him down, nor caused him any trouble. He had always supported Chad, encouraging Chad and wished the best for him and Troy without expecting anything in return. When they fought and Chad was upset, Ryan found a way to bring them back together. When they were together, Ryan did the best thing he could for them. _All he wanted was to see Chad happy,_ he said cheesily to him one time, _and as long as Chad stayed beside him, he wished for nothing else_. It was cheesy and weird to say such thing to your friend, but Chad nodded and appreciated Ryan as his best friend ever since.

 

 

  
So Chad didn't understand at all how the blond could suddenly turned into an almost new person when the school year started. They hung out a lot more since Troy went off state, stayed longer after practice to spend more time with each other, and everything was fine. Ryan even found a new boyfriend, whose name was Zachary Florent, who was rather good-looking even when, no, _especially_ when some people said they couldn't tell him and Chad apart, and also a very good guy. They were amazing together, he thought, until they broke up after only three weeks of dating without any particular reason. He asked Zac about it when he saw the boy in basketball practice, and he asked Ryan about it when they met in baseball practice, but neither of them gave him an answer. And he still saw them talking together a lot outside of the classroom, so he guessed they would be coming back a pair again soon. Like him and Troy.

 

 

  
Ryan started acting weird since the two of them met, but Chad didn't mind it. He often asked clueless and crazy questions about people's sexuality, everyone, like he was not used to seeing people dating and being in relationships. He was surprised to see every single couple in the hallway, and he laughed when he heard someone being heterophobic. Of course he got back on his feet to make them regret it, but he had never laughed at those words before. But it slowly minded Chad when Ryan kept looking at him thoughtfully without knowing that he noticed, like the blond was trying to say something to him, but whenever he asked, he always said there was nothing wrong. Ryan was a selfless friend, always be there for Chad when he needed, but now he was even more selfless than usual, ready to drop any plans just to hang out with him, talked to him passionately and enthusiastically more, and spent a ridiculous amount of money to buy him things that he didn't even remember saying that he wanted. Or things that had just been lost or broken, and he didn't have any chance to conplain before seeing a brand new one in the blond's hand, giving to him. Ryan accidentally brushed against him in practice too much to really be accidents, and took his chance to watch Chad playing basketball, something he never did. But then when Chad thanked him and said he was the best friend anyone could ever asked for, his face was blank. Chad knew something was wrong, because it was Ryan's usual react to something that upset him. And the blond started distancing himself from Chad without telling him what the problem was, and Chad tried to figure out, but he didn't answer. He miss Ryan so much he asked the blond to come to the party, pretty certain he would refuse, but he said yes. All of it was confusing. And then until the last five days, he was completely lost track of what was going on in the blond's head.

 

 

  
He didn't know why Ryan looked so upset when Troy came home. Chad tried to find him to continue their conversation, but he took a step back immediately when he saw Ryan's dark expressions. He didn't think about it for long, as he was busy enjoying the reunion with his boyfriend, he missed Troy everyday for the last months, and finally he had the chance to touch the guy again. But then after that, Ryan started avoiding him. Not just distancing, it was straight out avoiding. He stopped showing up at practice, excusing that it was his _time of the month,_ even when Chad knew it wasn't (he kept track of the days so he could be a gentleman and buy Ryan hot chocolates and sweets for the pain). He skipped all the classes he shared with Chad, and no matter how hard Chad tried, he couldn't catch Ryan in the cafeteria at lunch or the breaks between classes. Either he couldn't find the blond, or he couldn't grab him with his incredibly speed. It was tiring, trying to guess what he did wrong. He had done it enough with Troy, and still failed at understanding the thoughts in their heads. At least he could make up to Troy by some sweet make out sessions. Ryan was a dead end.

 

 

  
And until Ryan shout out that he no longer wanted to be Chad's friend, his head was spinning. They were friends for years, and never fought for a second. And now they were in the middle of a freaking war without knowing what really led to it. Chad couldn't sleep for days: he had no idea what to do to make sense of all this. Ryan was his best friend, not having him around all the time was a disaster. Suddenly nobody understood him at all, nobody was wicked enough to know and chuckle at his dirty jokes, and no one that could make his boring day at school better with just a witty comment. Troy was amazing, and he loved Troy so much, but it wasn't like that. Chad always had to act in front of him, try to be sickeningly sweet and romantic to him, showing gallant gestures and cover all of his flaws so Troy would not be disappointed in him. Troy never paid full attention to Chad, he was usually attracted by a lot of other guys, but Chad knew every eighteen-year-old boys were the same. And maybe it was because Chad wasn't good enough for Troy. So he never stopped trying, trying, trying his best to be better. Ryan, on the other hand, knew all of his terrible dark side, but Chad didn't have to make any efforts around him. He didn't have to impress Ryan by being someone he wasn't. Hadn't been yet. Ryan had never expected anything from him. So why was he mad at Chad?

 

 

Until suddenly, it struck him that maybe, _maybe_ Ryan had a crush on Troy. He said it himself, right? He wanted to look good for Troy. Despite knowing Chad was his boyfriend, like the thought slipped his mind and he burst out without considering it. And his furious/disappointed expression when he saw Chad and Troy kissing... He must be jealous. Yes, that made sense. And when Troy went back to school, he avoid Chad because Chad was always sticking with Troy and he didn't want to see them together. And maybe that explained why Ryan distanced himself from Chad previously: It was the moment he found out he had feelings for Troy and didn't want Chad to rub it in his face as he and Troy were dating. Every pieces of puzzle popped into place so easily.

 

 

But then Chad didn't know what to do with this conclusion of his. He loved Troy, he really did, and he would do anything to please him and give up nything to have him by his side. But Ryan... Ryan was the only thing he was not willing to give up. This love triangle would do nothing but destroying their friendship, no matter how Chad choose to solve the problem. In this case, it was almost like choosing between Troy and Ryan. And he didn't want to choose at all.

 

 

  
.  
.  
.

 

 

  
"Hey, Zac." Chad hissed in the boy's direction and caught his questioning eyes. "Come here."

 

 

  
Zac immediately stood up from his bench in the locker room and scooted over to his place. Everyone else from the team had left the room, and he was waiting for them to go so he could have a moment with the boy. He was thinking hard the last few nights and he had to admit, being subtle enough to notice Ryan's secret crush on Troy was an achivement, but he knew he couldn't handle this situation alone. He needed some help. Usually, it was Ryan that helped him with all of these things. His parents were supportive, but they were never good at giving teenagers advices, and he didn't want this news to spread out to gossiping people. And then he found out that there were actually a few more people in the association with Ryan, and they also had experience helping other students with their sexual, romantic life. Chad might not be straight, but he was having a crisis, and it was for Ryan's own good, so he was sure the friends at the association would help him.

 

 

  
He was about to ask Kelsi, since that was the one Ryan trusted the most, but in the break in the middle of his basketball practice the other day, he saw Ryan poking his head into the room looking for Zac. They went out for a time, just to talk about something, and Chad saw how the boy hugged Ryan and comforted him. It was rather annoying, losing your best friend in the hands of a freshman, that should be him comforting his best friend with the first heart-breaking crush of his life, but then everything weren't that easy. The blond looked so emotional Chad almost believed he was on period.

 

 

  
"What's up, bro?" Zac asked, hands wavered around in enthusiasm. He did incredibly well in today's practice, and was chosen to be in the main team in the next game against West High Knights a few more months.

 

 

  
"This is nothing important, Florent." Chad shrugged as the boy turned into his informal stance. "I just want to ask something about Ryan, your ex? Is this okay to you?"

 

 

  
"Uhhh, _yeaaahh_ , I guess..." The boy nervously shifted. "Depends on what you're gonna ask..."

 

 

  
"You know we had a fight recently, right? You're still talking to him and all."

 

 

  
"Yeah, we're close friends now."

 

 

  
Ha, close friends my _ass_. Soon you two would end up having make up sex without even knowing it. "I had _no idea_ why he was mad at me. He was acting weird since the first days of school, but now he was angry at me for no reason and I don't know what to do."

 

 

  
"Well, seeing from your point of view, he was absolutely confusing and unreasonable." Zac sighed. "I can't blame you for not understand, it's almost impossible to find out why if he doesn't tell you."

 

 

  
"Actually, I _did_ find out." Chad lowered his voice, just to make sure no prying ears were on them.

 

 

  
"Really?" Zac blinked rapidly. "You did? How?"

 

 

  
"I thought hard, you know." Chad's voice went serious. "But his signs of having a crush on Troy couldn't escape my eyes."

 

 

  
Zac stared at him for a full minute and burst into laughter, folding himself in two and almost collapsed on the ground for laughing so hard. Chad glared at him, but he was too busy laughing he didn't have time to breathe, much less looking at Chad. He impatiently waited until Zac's laughs died down a bit and then sneered.

 

 

  
"What the heck are you laughing at? Ryan and I are in a dilemma here, you're _not_ helping." Chad groaned.

 

 

  
"Sorry, sorry, just," Zac panted, still trying to stop laughing his ass off, "Why on _earth_ do you think Ryan had feelings for your precious boyfriend?"

 

 

  
"Because he told me once that Troy was his potential target." Chad crossed his arms. This boy was useless. "And he distanced himself from me, avoided me and now started a fight with me because he was jealous."

 

 

  
Zac was about to laugh again, but Chad's glare stopped him.

 

 

  
"And it's difficult for me, because I don't want to choose between my best friend and boyfriend. If I don't handle this situation well, I might lose both of them."

 

 

  
"So you're telling me this _because_...?"

 

 

  
"Because you're good at giving advice! And you're the only one Ryan talks to nowadays, don't try to deny it, doesn't work. And you care about him, right?"

 

 

  
Zac nodded.

 

 

  
"Help me with this. I don't think he would be happy if this ended up messy either. Why don't you help him get over his crush with me and when he _finally_ realize how good you always were to him, he would come back dating you?"

 

 

  
"Wow, how can someone be so right and so wrong at the _same_ time." Zac muttered.

 

 

  
Chad glared at him with frustration. "Enlighten me, then, _Mr Intellectual_."

 

 

  
"He was being weird to you because does have a crush on someone. And he was also confused and didn't know what to do to make things not messy."

 

 

  
"See, I _knew_ it."

 

 

  
"But it's not... This person that he liked, would also be in a middle of a confusing situation if he knew Ryan's feelings for him, and Ryan didn't want to make any one choose him over anyone. So he stepped away, because he didn't want to destroy their happiness. He will kill me if I tell you who it was, so I won't."

 

 

  
" _Seriously_?" Chad rolled his eyes. "Why would he think so? Who's the idiot? Who would not choose Ryan over anyone? He's awesome!" Well, unless it was Troy and Troy chose Chad instead of Ryan.

 

 

  
"Yes, that's the exact question I had." Zac patted his shoulder. "He was hoping that person would realize how he was always good to him all the time and one day he will be noticed. But his hope is running out, Chad. He's depressed."

 

 

  
"What should I do?" He sighed. "How can I make him happy without breaking my relationship with Troy?"

 

 

  
"The truth is, I don't know, either." Zac looked down. "It's almost impossible to."

 

 

  
Chad slumped on the floor. It's not choosing between Troy and Ryan anymore. It's choosing between Ryan and himself.


	10. Distractions

Ryan was changing. Everybody around him saw it, the whole East High student body saw it, but there was nothing they could do but watch him gracefully building his web and gulfed down the unlucky preys. His fashion suddenly consisted of a lot more skinny jeans, tight leather pants and knee high boots, all the things that make boys drool on their chins from watching. His shirt, normally neatly tucked in and buttoned up, now a size larger than his body, the hem hanging off his thighs dangerously, neck and collarbone opened in an obscene way that showed off his milky, translucent, all lickable skin, and sleeves rolled up lazily low on his forearms. He looked like he had just woke up from a night of wild sex with some guy and wore his shirt to school without even knowing it. And the East High boys threw themselves at him like moths to the flames.

 

 

  
Suddenly every word came out of his mouth was ten times more flirtatious while still somehow the same words he said every day, and even when he never made any move towards any guy, none of them misread the signals he gave off with every gesture of his body. Chad hated every single thing about it. The way he didn’t try to mascara up his eyelashes because he knew people liked them blond, the way he wore his perfect winged eyeliner and the way he made cocks hard with just a blink of his eyes. And Chad didn’t even have to mention his glossy pink lips that made it impossible for any guy to look at without wanting to devour them, he didn’t know what products he used on his lips because none of the girls had the same delicious color nor the subtle glossy sheen, and that made even taken guys swoon, if they weren’t already running after him before he became like this. Chad swore he heard a couple discussed about the fantasy of having a threesome with Ryan, and he had to try so hard not to vomit.

 

 

  
And if Chad realized the effects of Ryan’s changes on people, the blond must have been planning and scheming it since the beginning. He started going out on dates. It’s not like Chad was so selfish or envious when he saw Ryan finally had someone, no, because Ryan went out on too many dates. He first dated the guys in his Drama club, seducing and leading them to his deadly spider web, and before any of them could understand what was going on, they were pinning him on the piano in the club room in hot, eager make out sessions. Emphasize on the word “ **them** ”, because Ryan had probably kissed and made out with the whole male population of the Drama club everywhere in the practice room, from the piano to the harp and the drums. Chad caught Ryan in the middle of his intimate times more than three times in the room, and it’s not like he had work to do in that room more than once a month. The blond ignored him entirely: he was no longer interested in avoiding Chad, because to be honest, he couldn’t fake being on period his whole life, so he decided to consider Chad not exist. He kept kissing and nibbling the other guy’s ear or lips without giving a shit if Chad was there, and Chad knew he enjoyed getting on his nerves.

 

 

Chad wasn’t sure why he was so mad about Ryan changing boyfriends like changing hats. He was the hottest guy at school, of course he would have long lines of other guys waiting to audition for the position of his boyfriend. He had the right to date anyone he wanted to, and even the right to date a few people at the same time, since all of the braindead guys he started hanging out with after he finished using the Drama boys, were too busy staring at his ass to really know what was going on. Ryan could ask for their thoughts about dating a bunch of guys at once and all they would think about was how pornographic it would be for a gangbang. _Disgusting_. Chad had no idea how the blond lowered himself so much to really be in a relationship with those guys. They were from the same football team as the heterophobic assholes that bullied Jeremy Milano the other day.

 

 

Every baseball practice was like hell, having a team captain that ignored you and flirt with all of your teammates. And seeing the next boyfriend picking him up after practice and kissing him on the very diamond that Chad had just stepped on was even more terrible. Well, at least he was not staying with the football apes for long. Those guys were too shallow to provide him the romantic affections he asked for, and Chad knew he wouldn’t let their hands go below the waistline. He was annoying, and rather slutty these days, but not stupid. He turned to the science guys instead, and despite Chad’s inner disapproval, at least these guys had brains in their skull. It took him longer than the football guys though, since some of them actually were quite nice, and he could only date one guy at a time. Chad's annoyance grew more and more serious when Ryan eventually let go of them and wandered to the most introvert sections of the school like the Gothic guys or the Chess club guys and still got all the boys lying on his feet. He couldn’t understand how his best friend was willing to be a slut just to make him angry.

 

 

But the last straw that finally sent Chad over the edge? It's that people didn't even care about Ryan's obvious intentions. Everybody knew what he was doing recently, seducing and using other guys for his own pleasure and quickly dump them afterwards, but none of them paid any attention to it. They knew they were going to be dumped soon, but they still clang onto him anyway. As if having the chance of dating the school's primo boy for a few weeks or months at most had already been a miracle that they would do anything to have. No one really cared about how the blond was considering them nothing more than a sex doll, or an obedient servant. Yes, some girls might gossiped about that, but it's not like Chad could approach them and become a part of the " _mad at Ryan_ " club.

 

 

  
And he didn't even know if Ryan did that to make him angry, or anything else. Maybe to prove to Troy that he was more attractive than Chad so Troy would dump him? Or to slowly pulling Troy into his spider web without people's noticing and engulf him? Or maybe he was so desperate of not having Troy that he decided to date all of the guys in school for substitutions. Either way, it annoyed Chad, and concerned him. No matter what Ryan did, Chad knew it was because he was hurt and depressed for not having the one he loved. Chad was his best friend, comforting him was something Chad supposed to do, but he couldn't do it. He felt a bit guilty and worried, but what could he do about it when the blond was ignoring him and the only thing that could make him happy was to give Troy to him like some property that could be traded. No, that was never gonna happen. If their friendship was not strong enough to overcome the crushes on guys, it wasn't as rock solid as they thought.

 

 

  
.  
.  
.

 

 

  
"Bye, Steve. Love ya." The blond smiled sunnily and kissed the guy goodbye before closing the gate and got inside the mansion. Sharpay was there waiting for him.

 

 

  
"Who's that, Ryan?" She demanded, and Ryan rolled his eyes, walked past her.

 

 

  
"It's just my boyfriend, Shar." He walked on the stairs to get to his room, but his sister chased after him. "Don't I have the right to have a date now?"

 

 

  
"Yes, you do, but you're pushing the limits, Ry." She hissed behind him. "You can't date or sleep with every guy at East High!"

 

 

  
"Is that a challenge, sis?" He turned around, a smirk slowly crept across his face, and Sharpay groaned.

 

 

  
"No, it's not a challenge, don't you dare do that. Why are you doing this, Ry? We all know it's not you. You're just trying to be a playboy get your mind off something, or to piss someone off." She crossed her arms.  
One thing he hated about this world's Sharpay, was that she cared about him too much. Too much more than the other world. Which was a touching scene most of the time, but not in times like this. "I'm not doing this to forget anyone or to piss someone off, Shar. I just realized that I haven't made the most of everything I had yet. I'm the hottest guy at school and how many guys have I dated in the first two years of high school?"

 

 

  
"Uh... None?" She furrowed her eyebrows.

 

 

  
"Exactly. That is not normal, Shar. Not acceptable. You're supposed to understand that, of all people." He raised his two hands in the air. "You always love the attention!"

 

 

  
"But you didn't date anyone because you were having a crush on Danforth." She pouted. "Which was, still a terrible choice, by the way."

 

 

  
"Exactly!" Ryan laughed. "He was the worst choice I've ever made. But not anymore, Shar. I got over him, and now I have the opportunity to get to know all of the other guys."

 

 

  
"Getting over him should be finding a real boyfriend that made you feel appreciated more than with Danforth, not sleeping around."

 

 

  
"Hey, I am looking for a real boyfriend. I'm just trying everything until I find out who really fits me." He shrugged.

 

 

  
"Doesn't sound like it, Ry." She stubbornly glared at him. "You are acting like you're just using people for your own needs."

 

 

  
"Which are?" He raised his eyebrow, and she hesitated. "See, I don't have any needs. I'm not using them for anything, because I don't need anything from them. I tried to have a relationship with them, and it's not like I was gold digging them, I bought them a bunch of things, and I broke up with them when I felt like we weren't meant for each other. You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find out your prince, right?"

 

 

  
"The worst fairy tale I've ever read." She grimaced.

 

 

  
"Come on, Shar, there's nothing to be worried about." He patted her shoulder assuringly. "I'm handling the situation perfectly."

 

 

  
Sharpay was still a little concerned, but her questions quickly melted away when Ryan suddenly asked her with knowing eyes.

 

 

  
"And as I remember, you're having a date with Gabriella tonight, right? And if I'm not wrong, she told you she adored your hairstyle in your last date, which was coincidentally done by me..."

 

 

  
"Wait, you mean--"

 

 

  
"No, no, I don't mean anything--" He turned away, waving his hand dismissively, but eyes still on her.

 

 

  
"You're saying you want to--"

 

 

  
"I'm pretty busy tonight you know, lots of things in the club and all..." He was turning away, stepping up on the stairs, but he was grinning.

 

 

  
"You want to do my hair for me?"

 

 

  
He spun around immediately, a wide mischievous grin on his face. "Only because you asked so nicely."

 

 

  
Ten minutes later, Sharpay was sitting in front of her mirror in her room with Ryan on the bed behind her, curling up her hair with a flat iron and some rollers to apply moisturiser. The last time he offered to style her hair, she was rather skeptical. But the moment Gabriella complimented her beautifully braided hair with all of the delicate touch on it, genuinely, she knew it was the right decision. Ryan could still remember her cheerful face when she saw the result and coming home after the date, he couldn't be more proud. It's been a long time since he last saw her so happy, and it was the time she succeeded in planning to break up Troy and Gabriella. It came to him that when she was chasing after Troy, she turned into a mean, selfish and cruel person, exactly the opposite of her in this world, when she finally had someone who cared about her the way she wished for without anyone in the way. It was the miracle of love, as Zac said, that changed people, made them better and happier.

 

 

  
The feelings of doing Sharpay's hair were calming him as much as yoga did. He could practice the latest style he saw on the internet the other day and get his mind off Danforth. The past time spending on dating and making out wasn't this effective. Oh, he tried. He could lie to Sharpay, but couldn't lie to himself about it, he was really doing the playboy thing because he wanted to get over Chad. Everytime he turned around, Chad was there. He chatted with Ryan, asked about his day, listened to him with those stupid caring eyes of his and there was no way he could restrain himself from falling harder for the guy. The longer he tried to forget, the more details of Chad's warm, nice gestures towards him that he noticed, and he was exhausted. How could he stop himself from loving a person that offered him a hand after every time they wrestle on the diamond for the victory, that bought him his favorite drinks after every practice, or even came to his Drama club to see his all of his musical productions and gave him flowers afterwards? And every moment Chad mentioned Ryan being his best friend and Troy being his boyfriend, he almost couldn't breathe from the tearing pain. It was getting worse and worse, and he decided to end it the day Chad argued with him. It was a good timing, using an excuse to stop interacting with Chad, so he wouldn't have to hear about their perfect relationship, and how Chad was hopelessly in love with Troy. The other guys in the school were a wonderful distraction, and he grabbed the chance right away. Maybe, he hoped, maybe he could find someone among them that was better for him than Chad.

 

 

  
"Wow, you're really good at braiding hair." Shar smiled dreamily. "I'm gonna let you do mine in our wedding."

 

 

  
Ryan laughed. Sharpay was the only ray of sunshine in his day. "I'll be honored."

 

 

  
"Where do you learn to do that anyway?" She looked at him in the mirror, gesturing how he was splitting her hair in half and braiding them up into two braids, leaving a few long strands framing her face.

 

 

  
"I don't know, I guess looking at beauty hacks videos on facebook was kinda my hobby." He grinned and rolled up the two braids gracefully into buns behind Sharpay's head.

 

 

  
"I'm sorry I interrogated you earlier." She sighed and Ryan had to keep his heart from melting: Sharpay saying sorry to him was once in a blue moon. Gabriella must have rubbed off on her somehow. "I'm just...worried that you date a lot of people to forget Danforth. You've been crushing on him for years and you had a fight with him right before all of this started..."

 

 

 

"Well, that was when I decided to give up on him. He was such a dick it's not worth it." He admired his ability of acting.

 

 

  
"I wish I could do something about it." She whispered. "You helped me so much with Gabriella, we could never go this far if it wasn't for you."

 

 

  
Speaking of which, he never had the chance to know about Sharpay and Gabriella's relationship since he got here. There had to be a reason they became the school's golden couple instead of Troy and Chad.

 

 

  
"You know, I'm in a nostalgic mood." He smiled. "Why don't you tell me about it again from the start so I can enjoy how angelic of a person I was to you and Gabi?"


	11. How to be a heartbreaker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tribute to one of my favorite song: How to be a heartbreaker  
> You can listen to the song while reading, the Glee's version would be nicer  
> I'm so gonna turn this into a musical fanfic

Ryan opened the door to the music room and stepped in, wandering around, waiting for Zeke to get in after him. The blond was having a light curve on the end of his lips as he looked at his lastest prey following him around the room. Dating Zeke by far was the most pleasant experience of romance he had ever gone through, and despite all of the goosebumps that rose on his skin everytime he remembered about how hard and desperately the guy fell for his sister Sharpay in the other world, he enjoyed being in a relationship with him more than any previous guy at school. It was a big compliment, since he had dated dozens of guys before Zeke.

 

 

Turned out after all of the effort to try to forget and replace Chad with someone else, he realized he had a special interest in athletic guys. The drama club guys were too sappy, the science guys were too nerdy, and he didn't even have to mention the chess club guys. But athletic guys, no matter what sport they played, attracted Ryan. He reached his claws out to his baseball team, the football team, the soccer team, and any other sports team before muscular and broad chest guys slowly ran out. The only team left, well, was the basketball team, and he didn't want to approach them at first, but only a week after breaking up with the last guy in the swimming team (god, the way their shoulders and chests broadened with all of the time spending in the water), he found himself watching school basketball games tentatively in all of his free time and licked his lips hungrily. Seeing Chad on the court wasn't a sweet feeling, but he learned that if he wanted to really get over Chad, he had to keep calm and in control of himself even when Chad was in front of his eyes. So he accepted his reality, and shifted his gaze to the rest of the team. Zeke caught his eyes in the way that made him remembered how sweet the basketballer was to Sharpay in the other world. And how delicious his desserts were. And Ryan desperately needed both of those kinds of sweetness in his life. It's like he was addicted to romantic gestures and sex: maybe his ego just needed a boost, and being worshipped by every guy at school helped with the insecurity and self-pity inside him that grew like weeds every time he accidentally ran into Chad and Troy in the hallway. Zeke, with his adorable stutters whenever he talked to his crush (Sharpay in the other world, Ryan in this world, because please, it took him zero effort to become everyone's crush) and all of the sweets he made to show his affections, was everything Ryan needed.

 

 

  
"The rainbow-colored chocolate chips cookies you made me this morning were out of this world, Zeke." The blond smiled sunnily to him while leading him around the music room, showing him things he usually did here for the school's music productions, and he saw the blush on Zeke's cheeks in spite of the dark skin. "I love it! How did you do it, the color?"

 

 

  
Well, what he said was true, so he wasn't lying to trick Zeke or anything. It's just he knew that men loved being praised, they loved it so much it blinded their senses and they would be willing to do anything for him. And asking about how they did their favorite thing with curiosity and excitement was just bringing them over the top.

 

 

  
"Well, uh, I used natural food coloring, like, I made it myself. From fruits and flowers and such." He stuttered, couldn't keep his eyes off Ryan's loving smile.

 

 

  
"And somehow the flavor of chocolate was still the centre. Blended with sugar and the crunchy texture." The blond made a circle around the room before coming back to him. "It's a miracle! How did you know I loved rainbow colors?"

 

 

  
"I just, you know," Zeke scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "Did some research. I really wanna surprise you."

 

 

  
"I would never share a crumb of those cookies with anyone, I swear." The blond laughed and kissed him, hands holding tight onto his hands. "I'm really, really grateful for your sweet gift, that's why I brought you here alone, so..."

 

 

  
He left the rest of the sentence, letting it dissapeared in the air, and nipped Zeke's lips invitingly. He smirked into the kissed, waiting for the guy to get his signals and started touching him, but after a moment, Zeke burst out and made him flinch.

 

 

  
"Wow, that's...that's amazing! You're gonna sing me a song?"

 

 

  
For God's sake, even Chad wouldn't miss a giant green light like that. Ryan wasn't sure if he should be annoyed or laugh: how could someone be so oblivious and so hopelessly romantic at the same time? He kissed Zeke on the corner of his lips, before sighing and broke away from him, walking over to the musical instruments along the wall. The basketballer still didn't notice the sigh, and was extremely excited to listen to Ryan's singing, as if he hadn't heard it in the previous hundred of songs in the school shows. He asked the guy why he was so interested in listening to Ryan's voice so much, and Zeke answered with innocent eyes that if Ryan sang to him, he would be special, since the blond hadn't sang for anyone personally before.

 

 

  
Ryan just laughed quietly and sat down on a chair after picking a guitar from the wall. He was about to choose the piano, but a particular song came into his mind, just like how he was about to keep his relationship with Zeke long and serious, but another thing came into his mind.

 

 

  
"So, is it okay if I choose the song or you like to...?" He asked, just to make Zeke feel appreciated, but he knew the guy would agree with him anyway. Zeke was sweet, romantic, nice and devoted, but he was also passive, too gentle, and too... cringe. And also too innocent.

 

 

  
His pale, boney fingers swept on the strings of the guitar in a small piece of opening music. Zeke's eyes glued to him like being hypnotized, and Ryan hummed. He took a breath and opened his lips, letting the beautiful voice of his flooding the room.

 

 

  
_"Rule number one, is that you gotta have fun."_

 

 

  
Ryan cupped Zeke's face with his hands and kissed him apologetically, his eyes look down with guilt and sorry. "I'm so sorry Zeke, I just don't think that we really fit for each other. It would be injustice for you if you have to be in a relationship with someone who can't appreciate your...purity and innocent. I love you, a lot, but I guess we both deserve someone better."

 

 

  
_But baby when you're done, you gotta be the first to run._

 

 

  
The two bodies slammed into each other, intertwined and touching and groping everywhere while their attached lips never split for one second. Ryan devoured the other pair of lips hungrily, sucked and swallowed it while pushing the boy to the wall, trapping him in it and consumed him all over. If there was one time he felt bad for dating a freshman, then now he had no shame. The boy was shy, and adorkable, with cheeks that went bright red everytime Ryan spoke to him and couldn't form a full sentence to him without babling for minutes. Ryan liked the cute look, but hated the talking, so he decided to just grab the boy and kissed him until he was breathless. The boy's back was against the wall, and his front was trapped with Ryan's warm, horny body, and he whined into the kiss, helplessly clawed on the blond's back. And he took that as an invitation to take the boy's pants off and pulled one leg up on his hip.  
Rule number two, just don't get attached to somebody you could lose.  
"I gotta go." Ryan pressed a kiss on the boy's lips after finished cleaning and put back on the boy's clothes. It was fun, having someone writhing under him, moaning his name instead of exposing himself in front of his previous boyfriends like a slut.  
"Wait..." The boy blinked rapidly as he grabbed Ryan's sleeve when the blond put on his own clothes himself. "Are we... Are we gonna..."  
"I'm so sorry, sweet pea." He put on his fedora and turned aside to lift the boy's chin and brushed their lips together one more time. "I guess we won't be doing this for a long time. No, it's not you, not your fault. I just have so many things going on that I need to spend my time, I'm sorry. I love you."

 

 

  
_So let me tell you..._   
_This is how to be a heart breaker_

 

 

  
Ryan ignored the gossips and the skeptical looks thrown behind his back. Actually, he was wondering when they would show up, he's been doing this for a while. It was funny how he could flirt and sleep around with most of the guys in school and still hadn't seen a antifan club of himself. He could see his exes everywhere, in every class, every club, every sport team, and somehow none of them hated him the way they should have. He was dissapointed at first, thinking that if they weren't bitter when they saw him, meant they weren't into him as much as he wanted, and he wasn't as charming as he thought. But after a while, he realized they were bitter.  
In fact, they were heart-broken. They wept, moped and whined weeks after they were dumped, they slumped in their seats in mornings and collapsed in beds with tears at nights. The girls noticed that, they knew it was Ryan who hurt their friends' feelings by being a cold hearted snake, Lorra's words, and played with their feelings. But there was nothing they could do to stop the guys from falling for him, so blindly, so stubbornly. And they couldn't stop his exes from still desperately wanting him, despite everything. Just one look and all of them came back wrapped around his fingers. They could never hate him, even when they wanted.

 

 

  
_Boys they like a little danger_

 

 

  
"You sure this is okay?" The new, young, and male math teacher whispered as their hips rolled against one another, and Ryan kissed his question away. Pale hands slowly opened the buttons on his shirt, glasses tilted as they slammed their lips together for another crushing kiss.   
He was asking, uncertain, but the blond knew he loved this. He loved the feelings of quickies on the roof, among all of the green houses and flowers and plants. His eyes sparked with want when he saw Ryan standing there waiting for him, shirt opened invitingly. The fear of getting caught with a student made him tremble, but turned him on from the core. And just like that, they crashed together and touched everywhere they could reach their hands on each other's bodies. And when Ryan's hands on his shoulders slowly but firmly pushed him down on his knees and left the job of opening the blond's fly and pulling his slacks down for him, his math teacher obeyed.

 

 

  
_We'll get him falling for a stranger, a player, singing I lo-lo-love you_

 

 

  
"I love you."  
"Love you."  
"I love you."  
He said it, over and over, with every guy he dated, every night. He didn't know why he liked doing it, he had never lied so shamelessly to anyone. Claiming he has love for those guys was an insult to the sacred meaning of the word, but he didn't care. Maybe he did it to make them trust him. Maybe he did it to lure them into the illusion that they might have a chance of being with him for long. Or maybe he did it to trick himself into believing that he really had feelings for someone. Someone else, rather than... He really wanted to love someone else. Anyone: Anthony, Josh, Chris, anyone. He wished he did, so this hollow pain eating him from the inside would stop.  
"I love you." He moaned as Tyler rocked into him, making the bed tremble. His words made Tyler's grasps onto him more desperately, made his arms around Ryan's torso tighten, as the guy slowly believed them.

 

 

  
_Rule number three, wear your heart on your cheek_   
_But never on your sleeves, unless you wanna taste defeat_

 

 

  
The blond held his hand, placed the other hand on his chest, and swayed with him in a lazy circle of waltz. Their bodies pressed hot into each other, and the swaying made his head a little dizzy. Or maybe it was the charming, intoxicating smile on the pink lips that hypnotized him. A smile that anybody would want to kiss, but nobody would realize that so many others had seen it. Nobody knew that it's how Ryan's system work: smiled his inviting, idle smile of his and made people do whatever he wanted. None of them saw him showing any emotions rather than the smile, but they couldn't question anything. They thought they were the only one who got to see his smile, not knowing that it meant nothing. When Ryan smiled, he didn't feel anything at all.

 

 

  
_Rule number four, gotta be looking pure_   
_Kiss him goodbye at the door, and leave him wanting more, more_

 

 

  
"I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" The blond gave him a kiss and waved him goodbye. "Get home safe. I love you."

 

 

  
_This is how to be a heartbreaker_   
_Boys they like a little danger_   
_We'll get him falling for a stranger, a player, singing I lo-lo-love you_

 

 

  
He quickly tore his eyes away from the tall, dark skin figure in the middle of the basketball court and the way it celebrated the win by kissing the brown haired figure next to it, to look at his boyfriend, and put on his plastic smile.

 

 

  
"At least I think I do." 


	12. Worst game ever

The fact that it wasn't even an important game didn't quell the fury inside Ryan. He had no idea why today had to be disastrous the moment he opened his eyes this morning. A surge of agony swole in the area around his hips, lower stomach and lower back every now and then, exhausting him beyond control. It wasn't so bad he had to tell his parents and personal doctor: No, it was so subtle he didn't realize it was there until he collapsed down onto the bed after a day, feeling completely wasted. The pain started appearing since a few days before, but it hadn't been this annoying until he had a baseball game with West High Knights team. The timing was terrible, he wasn't sure he could even be a little useful in the game in this state, he couldn't run as fast as he usually ran, nor hit as precisely and forceful as he usually hit. To be honest, he couldn't do anything involving physical movements without being embarassingly out of breath, and as a captain, nothing was worst. But he was confident enough to step forward to be the captain before, and his team mates trusted him enough to vote him captain before, so he had to wield his responsibility and get his head in the game. The blond smiled at the team reassuringly when he stepped onto the mound, silently prayed that it would end soon. It didn't. He hated the feelings of trying so hard to make your legs run faster but helpless before his own limits. He was angry, embarrassed and distraught at himself every time he was up to bat, and even his team mates started throwing anxious looks at him. No, he had to stay in the field and finish what he was supposed to do. The game was not that important, James kept telling him, but he knew he was dragging everyone down. That made him furious.

 

 

  
But it wasn't the only thing that snapped Ryan's control in half. Seemed like Chad Danforth, one of his best players, was also not in the best mood for the game. The guy was completely silent since the moment the team gathered, expressions empty and utterly distracted. Ryan was bad, but he tried his best to score. Chad was terrible. He didn't even pay attention to the ball, he missed obvious opportunities, and made stupid mistakes. His mind was off to somewhere else, while his body was forced to be playing baseball, and it moved like a lifeless machine. No flexibility, to clever move, no calculation. Ryan still didn't talk to Chad, he couldn't, especially in these kinds of stressful situation, so he ignored all of the mistakes Chad made and continued to desperately lead the team to finish the game in a hopeless attempt to gain back what they lost. Usually, Ryan with his confident, playful tactics and leadership, along with Chad's spirit and determination inspired the whole team to believe in their victory in the future and worked hard together to achieve it. Usually, they won.

 

 

  
Now, it was like a different team out there on the field, and Ryan could see it. But he could do nothing no matter how hard he tried. He just wondered if Chad saw it too, because the guy made no effort in trying to make the situation better. Everyone's uncoordinated, confused and lost. They didn't know what to do, how to defend against the opposing team and strike back, despite Ryan's orders. He made up a new strategy in the clouds of exhaustion, which might have worked if they really got their minds into it, but it was all in vain. Suddenly he realized his position of captain in this team was useless against Chad's inspirational position. Without the confidence, the passionate way he dedicated into the game, the team's spirit was lost. And how could he blame them, when the one who gave them leadership was such a lousy player that no one could believe he was talented enough to be in the team. Every moment passed by, the West High Knights got farther away ahead of them. Ryan lost a chance of scoring a run when he was grounded out, Chad couldn't hit the ball after three attempts, Chad didn't make it to home in time before the ball was caught, and he got tagged out while running for the base, and even with all of the other guys went in to help him, he somehow still found a way to screw up, and every point the guys struggled to score was blown into dust by Chad. The blond's voice went hoarse after yelling non stop to his team mates, his breath rapid and sweat covered his figure as he desperately tried to at least not falling behind too far.

 

 

  
The moment they lost pathetically, completly and utterly was also the moment Ryan snapped. He marched to where Chad was standing and growled. "What the _fuck_ is wrong with you today?"

 

 

  
"What do you mean wrong with _me_?" Chad snapped back, he ignored the victory celebration of the opposing team, face hot with exhaustion, anger and defeat. His fist clenched, he was panting, spit out the question like venom. " _You_ are the one with the wrong strategy! You should have let Dave in, but no, you just have to step in and _fuck_ up!"

 

 

  
" _I_ fucked up?" The blond's eyes went wide. The bright red started spreading across his face. "Have you seen yourself?! You _destroyed_ all of our fucking efforts!"

 

 

  
"Please, what good are all of those efforts if they were all in the wrong places? I tried to tell you what you should do, but you didn't listen!" Chad shouted, arms throwing in anger. "Letting Mazouz in instead of Galdot? He's a freshman! Since when did you become a terrible strategist?"

 

 

  
"No strategist could success if his team mates' heads were in the clouds! You could have scored us a bloody _hundred_ times with my terrible strategy if you leave your damned ego aside and listen but you _had_ to do what your brilliant mind thought was the best for your own arrogant ass!" Ryan yelled back, not giving a shit about the rest of the world, only focused on the one target of his anger. He knew he shouldn't have talked to this idiot in the first place, now all he wanted to do was to strangle him to death. Idiotic, arrogant, blind asshole.

 

 

  
"Don't tell _me_ about how _I_ flattered my ego when you took Delatour's place and couldn't outrun Trevor Paulson! That was what a real screw up was like!" Chad's voice got louder and louder every second, his fists trembled with rage. " _How_ could you still think of picking up the bat when you became a freaking Barbie doll?! My little sister can run fucking faster than that!"

 

 

  
"I tried my _best_ , Danforth, and even when I wasn't good enough, at least I tried. You're just simply _elsewhere_." Ryan clenched his teeth. _Fuck you, Danforth. First I don't mean anything to you, now baseball doesn't mean anything to you, and neither does this team. You've made your choice, and you didn't choose us_. "If you plan on leaving the base and your team mates exposed like this in the next games, I suggest you _leave_ the team right now."

 

 

  
Only then did they realized the entire field was in absolute silence. The West High Knights stopped their celebration, the cheerleaders stopped jumping, and the supporters of both teams froze in their places. Every pair of eyes all went to them, no one dared to move. Horror flashed in their eyes as they looked at them, tearing each other apart. The tension was thick in the air, as if a bomb had just blown up the place. The rest of the team stared at them in disbelief, eyes terrified and confused.

 

 

  
"What?" Chad whispered, the taste of sweat, dirt and defeat bitter on his tongue, the words hit him like a wall of cement. His heart pounded hard in his chest as the empty feelings gripped his guts and twisted. They had fought. They had disagreed. But they had been together in this team since the day they stepped foot in this high school, and never had Ryan said something like this to him. The hollow panic struck and engulfed him as he stood there, shocked like a deer caught in headlights.

 

 

  
"Evans, this is not a good time." James put a hand on his shoulder, voice calm, but he couldn't hide the fear in his eyes. "Not here."

 

 

  
"You heard me." The blue in Ryan's eyes was like a blade of ice thrusting into his chest. Cold, sharp and tearing. Unwavering, unforgiving, brutal. The blond turned around to went straight to the exit, not bothering to pick up his stuff in the locker room.

 

 

  
It was at that moment, Chad blurted out a yell behind him that pushed him off a limit he didn't know he had.

 

 

.  
.  
.

 

 

  
The knock on the door came with a loud thud of a bag dropped on the floor, and Zac's voice broke the silence. "You forgot your bag at school."

 

 

  
Ryan didn't get out of the cocoon of blankets wrapped around him, and the fortress of pillows were doing a perfect job of hiding him behind it. No one could make up anything among the mess, and even if someone did, they would have gotten the clear message that he shouldn't be disturbed. Sharpay saw him driving home, battered and furious, and she said nothing as he went straight up to his room and locked himself there without a word. He was left with his space quietly, and even Derby didn't try to talk to him or make him some tea. They all knew it wasn't just a defeat that lead to this.

 

 

  
"Chad was terrified, you know." Zac stepped in leisurely, wasn't threatened by the deadly silent answer of the blond. "He never expected to be kicked off the team that you two spent ages together to build from the ground."

 

 

  
"Fuck off." A growl came from the bunch of blankets and pillows, but the dark skinned boy ignored it.

 

 

  
"Actually, the Ryan of this world. But basically, it's still you."

 

 

  
This time, Ryan didn't reply. He curled up in the covers, put his hands over his ears and waited for Zac to go away.

 

 

  
"I should have told you about this a few more times, because it was new." The boy sat down on his bed. "But you're..."

 

 

  
"I _know_ I'm PMSing, I'm not a fucking _idiot_." The blond threw off the cover and sneered at him, eyes rimmed red. The sudden surge of hormones made him stupidly emotional, and the sore... Well, the sore everywhere was just a tiny spark of fire to the waiting puddle of petrol lying on the ground.

 

 

  
"And you should have rested instead of pushing yourself in the field and not being able to lead properly." Zac moved closer, glanced at the laptop on the other side of the bed, still on and in a tab with all of the biological information and pictures of a male human body in it. "Everyone knew what it's like here, Ryan, you should have told."

 

 

  
"I'm the fucking captain, I can't just _bail_ on my team the day we had a match just because of some stupid hormonal shit!" He snapped. "And Danforth _deserved_ it, that doesn't have anything to do with the PMS!"

 

 

  
"You're sore, you're emotional, highly strung, and you're not thinking straight. The defeat was the last straw." Zac calmly said. "Do you know how lost your team is right now? With its two most valuable members failing, yelling and eventually assaulting each other?"

 

 

  
"Yeah, I'm the terrible captain, I'm obviously the villain here." Ryan snarled, his stupid eyes started watering again. It's not like the only thing hurt was his body. The bruises on his cheek darkened after a few hours, and they were on the verge of cracking his skull apart. "I _definitely_ didn't even try to find a way to get the team back up when Danforth ruined everything, I _definitely_ didn't try to run faster than Paulson, and I was the mean, cruel, selfish one to be mad at the beloved Danforth because he did absolutely _nothing_ wrong."

 

 

  
"Hey, I'm not against you, Ryan, you know I'm here to help." Zac shook his head. "Your team relied mostly on you and Chad, I'm sure you knew it after months here. Baseball wasn't East High most popular sport, all of the attention was shifted to basketball, and if it wasn't for you and Chad, it wouldn't have gone this far. Champion in the first time participated in the championship? Seriously, that's nut."

 

 

  
"The other Ryan, not me." He muttered.

 

 

  
"Still, you're his doppelganger. You inspired them exactly the same. You and Chad. You two assembled the team, he was the heart, you were the mind. They followed your example, they idolized you, they considered you their beacons to victory, sportsmanship and solidarity." Zac picked up his laptop to log on to facebook and found a newly posted video. He played it to Ryan, and the blond was horrified realizing that his fight with Chad on the baseball field was recorded and posted online. They looked nothing like friends, nor team mates: first yelling at each other at the top of their lungs, then coldly pushed each other to exile, and then insulting each other. And eventually, attacking each other. They looked terrible in the video, so consumed by rage that the West High players had to come over to split them up. It was ugly, disgusting and embarrassing.

 

 

  
"You see how terrified and twitchy Dave look?" Zac paused the video and pointed on the screen. "He looked like a child seeing his parents arguing in the kitchen."

 

 

  
Ryan snorted. "If your father called your mother a _whore_ in their arguments, I am sincerely, genuinely, _sorry_."

 

 

  
Zac glared at him. "You punched him in the face. _Repeatedly_."

 

 

  
"He hit me back."

 

 

  
"With not much precision."

 

 

  
"Usually, people don't consider my fists threatening until they came in contact with their faces. I take that as an advantage."

 

 

  
"You idiots!" Zac exclaimed. "Look at you now! Bruised and hurt because you think nothing more than yourself! You think you're the hurtful one in this? Your school was humiliated, your team was frightened, and everyone was pitying you! You were the symbol of solidarity!"

 

 

  
"As if I give a fuck."

 

 

  
"And your PMS, along with Chad's tragic romance tore that solidarity apart. Or you can say, both of your stubbornness, short temper and violent ass did. You're both idiots, and somebody needs to tell you that."

 

 

  
"What tragic romance?" Ryan asked before even thinking.

 

 

  
"He caught Troy cheating on him." Zac bit his lip. "In the off state trip last summer."


	13. I know what you did last summer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music: I know what you did last summer by Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello

It wasn't the first time. Chad knew it was stupid of him to keep holding onto something that wasn't his, but everytime Troy came back saying how sorry he was and how Chad was the only one he wanted to love, he fell for the trick without thinking. Troy cheated on him for so long, but Chad forgave him and welcomed him back into his arms more times than he could ever count. It was utterly dumb and blindly stubborn, he knew, but somehow he still couldn't get over his feelings for Troy.

 

 

  
He remembered the day they first met in every detail. He had just moved to the neighbourhood, leaving all of his friends, team mates and classmates behind to start a new life here in Albuquerque with his family. A five year old child without friends was the loneliest creature in this world, and he was that creature. The new school was strange and alien to him, people were distanced and mean, racist slurs were thrown at him all the time, and he tried to run away from his home three times a week. He hated Albuquerque, he missed his old home, and he wanted nothing more than to come back there. Until one day, when he was hiding in a bush watching the children playing basketball in the large yard with needy eyes, Troy saw him and asked him to come in. The boy was a basketball genius, with his father taught him almost everything, unlike Chad who learnt most of those things by himself. For the first time, Chad found someone who didn't care about the color of his skin, and his feelings for Troy hadn't changed ever since. The brown haired boy with the innocent grin had brought color into his life, and suddenly he had a new goal: to marry Troy when he grew up. Everytime he looked at Troy on the court, saw his fiery passion and steely determination for basketball, pride and admiration flared inside him. Troy could be oblivious and insensitive sometimes, but from the bottom of his heart, Chad knew the guy was good. He was genuinely kind to everyone, even when they didn't benefit him, he did what was right and had the bravest heart Chad had ever seen. And Chad knew Troy truly cared for him, so he took it as a reason to finally ask Troy out in the seventh grade.

 

 

  
He shouldn't have mistaken the boy's brotherly love for him as the same burning love that he had. He shouldn't have asked Troy out, and Troy shouldn't have said yes, because in the end, Chad always ended up not being the right one. Troy's affection somehow never lied on him, despite all of their efforts to make their relationship work, despite everything the public saw in them. Chad knew it, and he still let himself be fooled.

 

 

  
_I know_   
_The dirty secrets that he keeps_   
_Does he know it's killing me_

 

 

  
It was shocking the first time he found out. Troy's phone was on when he picked it up on the couch, and he didn't mean to glance at the text messages. It was someone named Alex. Apparently, they had an one night stand when Troy and Chad were having a fight and that Alex wanted to do it again. Chad didn't tell Troy what he saw, he quietly came back to his room, putting the phone into his bag so he could return it to Troy when they saw each other. He didn't say anything, didn't get angry and confronted the guy about it, because it was his fault that they fought and Troy had to find someone else for a night. He wasn't good enough for Troy then, he was too stubborn to let Troy win, too focused on himself, that's why he turned to this Alex. It was Chad's fault, so he had no right to be angry, no matter how much it hurt him.  
Troy didn't refuse Alex's offer.

 

 

  
_He knows, he knows_   
_That I know_   
_Another's hands have touched his skin_   
_He won't tell me where he's been_   
_He knows, he knows, he knows_

 

 

  
The next time Chad found out, he smelled perfume on Troy's body. A strange scent, not something Troy would use whenever something important came up, not something his family member used, nor something like anything Chad knew. He asked Troy about it, praying that he would get a decent answer, and the brown haired boy smiled at him, saying it was the perfume that this crazy girl put on all of her belongings, and he was just helping her find a textbook that she lost. Chad wanted to believe it, he really did, the way Troy didn't even flinch when he lied, the natural smile he knew that would fool Chad into believing everything he said. Chad wished he could fall for this trick, so he didn't have to be restless, tossing and turning at night wondering in pain about what he did wrong to Troy that led him to this. Because a day after that, he saw a small note falling out of Troy's pocket, and it was sweet words from someone assuring Troy he wouldn't know about their secret.

 

 

  
_It's tearing me apart_   
_He's slipping away_   
_Am I just hanging on to all the words he used to say_

 

 

  
Chad kept Troy's secret for him like a good, supportive boyfriend he was. He helplessly looked at the one he wanted more than anything slipping through his fingertips, not knowing what to do. All he did was trying his best to change, to be the perfect boyfriend nobody could, being the caring, loving boyfriend that might somehow get Troy back. Everytime he looked at Troy, his eyes silently begged the boy to notice and come back to him. But it was all for nothing, Troy's heart weren't with him anymore, and he was just a chain that kept Troy from his happiness. That day, he was sure that Troy found out he knew, because the brown haired boy came to him with an apologetic kiss and had sex with him that night out of guilt. Guilt, not redemption, not love. It was guilt. But Chad never stop hoping. He still desperately did anything he thought that could get Troy's attention, re-read all of the texts they sent each other years ago with all of the loving words, whispering to himself all of the sweet things Troy used to say to him. He didn't want to give up.

 

 

  
_The pictures on his phone_   
_He's not coming home_

 

 

  
Their personal time together got less and less. They still go to practice together, eat lunch together and stick together like glue wherever they went at school, but anytime they had a real chance to be with each other, it was all sex and guilty gazes, and Chad hated it. He tried to show his affection as much as he could: caressed the boy's hair, touching him gently, murmuring sweet, loving words into his ears. He hoped he would get to Troy that way, he hoped the guilt in him turned him around and made him come back to Chad. He had the feelings that Troy knew what he was trying to do, but pretended not to know anyway.

 

 

  
Ryan asked him about their relationship, like he already knew about Troy's change. It freaked him out a little, but turned out the blond only asked because he noticed something wrong with Chad. He denied everything, saying he was perfectly fine, there was nothing wrong between him and Troy, and gave Ryan a grateful hug. The blond was skeptical, but he didn't ask for more, and he couldn't be more thankful about that. He wanted to tell Ryan, wanted to ask for his help. He had always been Chad's wingman and relationship adviser from the start, and they had known each other for years. That's what best friends areand for: they understood each other like the back of their hands. But that's exactly the reason Chad didn't want to tell Ryan. If he knew, he would scratch Troy's eyes out. He had seen Sharpay threatening Ryan's exes, that was something that Evanses do to protect their loved ones. And well, he might not have been sure about his position in Troy's heart, but he was always certain about how important he was to Ryan. He just knew.

 

 

  
_I know what you did last summer_   
_Just lie to me there's no other_   
_I know what you did last summer_   
_Tell me where you've been!_

 

 

  
This was not the first time Troy cheated on him, but it was the first time he asked Troy about it. The stress kept piling up inside him more and more over time, and he soon broke under the weight of it. He had already been strained for weeks before finding out.   
He missed Troy like crazy when the guy went on his exchange student progam. His heart twisted and ached from the moment Troy left until he returned, never stopping for one second. Not just from love, but also fear. He feared that he could lose Troy any moment he left his guard down. Hanging out with Ryan all the time was soothing, but the lingering fear was still there. And it came true when Troy got home.

 

 

  
He spent the entire summer dating and doing other things with someone else, and they still kept in touch even after he returned home. Chad knew it immediately, because he had seen it a lot. Mysterious phonecalls, secret text messages, the way Troy always had the phone in his hand when he was with Chad. He stopped listening to what Chad said, stopped paying attention to what Chad did, and replied to all of Chad's attempts to fix their broken relationship with distracted, mindless answers. He was thinking about someone else. Unlike the previous times, this time everything seemed worse, and Chad panicked beyond control. It's like he wasn't Troy's boyfriend anymore, it's like there was nothing between them anymore. Someone might glance at them and thought they were a couple, but just one second longer and they'll soon realized. Cold, neglectful, distanced. And it's like he wasn't even feeling guilty anymore. Chad was more scared than he ever were.

 

 

  
_I know what you did last summer_   
_Look me in the eyes, my lover_   
_I know what you did last summer_   
_Tell me where you've been!_

 

 

  
"I'm sorry, Chad, I know it's injustice for you." The blue eyes that weren't as bright as they used to be when they looked at him, now trying to look away. "I betrayed you so many times and... Somehow you still forgave me."

 

 

  
"Should I?" Chad whispered.

 

 

  
"I cheated on you. I think of someone else when I'm with you. I treated you like trash and I don't deserve your forgiveness at all, Chad." Troy lowered his gaze on the floor. "I'm so sorry. I wanted to love you, I wanted this relationship to work, but... I don't want to hold you back from finding someone who truly loved you."

 

 

  
Right, the familiar I don't deserve you card. How could he be surprised? After everything he did in desperation to try to keep Troy by his side... He had always known it was stupid. His mind screamed and warned and begged him to give up, to stop chasing something that would never belong to him, and it was right. Ryan would have hit him with his bat a thousand times for being the blind, pathetic, stubborn jock that never knew his limits. The false hope that once flourished inside him, gripped at him, pouring the thoughts that if he changed, Troy might come back to him, was wrong. He knew everything he did was wrong, and he still continued anyway. What did he have now?

 

 

  
He lost Ryan because he chose himself. And he lost Troy also because of it. Maybe if he let Troy knew Ryan wanted him, they would have been together and thanked him for that. Chad looked at his own battered, bruised face in the bathroom mirror, laughed at his own joke and wondering how he should explain this to his moms. _My best friend had a crush on my boyfriend, who is not interested in me anymore_. He was so frustrated with losing both Troy and Ryan and the baseball game that he erupted. He was so stressful seeing Troy wanting someone else, and seeing Ryan suddenly dated every guy he knew, that he couldn't control his words until he found himself pinned on the ground, the blond's boney fists rained punches on him. At the end, he was the one to blame.


	14. Apology

Ryan sighed as he looked at himself in the mirror. The bruises faded so much quicker than normal bruises should, but still, the dark color of it contrasted with his milky white skin, and he looked horrible. He looked horrible, and he was also a horrible person. It's like the end of the world.

 

 

  
He woke up that morning, for the first time, finding out what having blood flowing from your body non stop feels like, and his back, his belly and hips ached. He had no idea how girls could live with this their whole lives and didn't feel like dying, because he was definitely feeling like he was about to collapse and die from the exhaustion. He couldn't push himself to practice baseball anymore, so today he was staying in the drama club's room, nervously looked at himself, trying to find a way to meet Chad without having ten people around making sure they wouldn't attack each other again. Remembering about the incident made him felt more and more sick. His blazing row with Chad went up all over facebook, youtube and even instagram, and he saw it everywhere anytime he opened his laptop. And he stopped anytime he saw a video, watched it, and cursed himself.

 

 

  
He was extremely unstable and aggressive that day, he acted without even thinking, and ended up getting into a physical fight. His dads were mad at him, but they knew how he was PMSing, and how he was trying to get over his unrequited crush on Chad, so all of his punishment was dealing with detention at school. And the ripping guilt in his stomach. He attacked Chad first, and the dark skinned boy's reaction was terrified. He was angry, too, and he was well prepared for something like that, but Ryan knew the stunned way he defended himself wasn't just from the blond's fists. Ryan knew Chad was holding back. Even in his furious state of mind, Chad still didn't lose his control and hurt Ryan, because to be honest, Ryan would end up in the hospital if he really wanted it.  
Ryan, in the clouds of his rage, couldn't control his actions, and destroyed the school's image, the team's image, and his own image. West High's students must be snickering when they saw two pigheaded leaders of East High's team got into their own fight after losing pathetically. Other schools in the state would look down on them, and even other teams in East High would, too. He had just mocked the football team's apes the other day about their famous sportsmanship, how could he know that one day he ended up just like them, assaulting his own team mate?

 

 

  
And the poor guys in the team who had to put up with him and Chad's sneering. They could never know what was really going on, suddenly their captain and their spiritual leader jumped on each other's throat, pushing each other off the team, calling each other whores. Like they didn't care about anyone but themselves, and the rest of the team meant nothing. What kind of captain would do that to his own team? He was always proud of his cold head, of his calm and reasonable thinkings when it came to problems. He was supposed to stop people from getting into stupid fights, not being a part of them.

 

 

  
And Chad... He wasn't sure about his feelings for the boy anymore. He knew what he had to do with everything else. He apologized to his team mates, made up to them with all of their favorite junk food, and got a warming hug from the whole team. He apologized to his parents, promised not to repeat the mistake ever again, and got a kiss on the forehead from his papa. He apologized to the team's coach, for being a lousy captain, and got a second chance. But Chad... He wasn't certain if apologizing was a good idea. No, not because he was too stubborn to say sorry, he knew what he did was wrong, but because he didn't know if he could stand the sight of Chad without having a nervous breakdown. His feelings towards Chad were a mess, and he couldn't predict any of it.

 

 

  
He had been asking himself for hours. Did he want Chad? He did. More than anything, no matter how many guys he had dated. It was pathetic, but he needed to stop lying to himself. Did he hate Chad? He did. Because Chad would never be his, would never recognize him. Was he hurt? Yes, of course he was. He had to put up with Chad loving someone else while silently being the friend that he should be. And now with Chad accused him of being a whore... He realized that what he said was true. Did he want to get over Chad? He was desperate for it. He did everything he could to find a way to forget Chad, but he failed everytime. And when the news of Chad breaking up with Troy for cheating on him came, the deadly hope rose inside him again. He didn't want to hope, he didn't want to have anything to do with Chad, but here he was, wondering if he should grab this chance to be with with the boy. He broke up with Troy, but he still only considered Ryan a friend. And from his reaction, the blond knew he was still rooted for Troy, not one bit over him. The blond sighed as he continued rehearsing the song he would perform in the winter musical production of the drama club, The Classic. He sang "Bye bye bye" by N'Sync, a somehow very descriptive musical piece about his current situation. Maybe if he kept singing this song enough, he could say bye bye to his feelings for Chad.

 

 

  
He sang the song a few times to get more familiar with the tone, and sketched out some choreography for it. This show was a tribute to all of the classical pop songs, so he should be recreating some of the symbolic part. Like the puppet strings on his wrists and ankles, for example. And he needed some back up dancers, the guys in the drama club would be pleased to say yes. But the strings would make it more difficult to make impressive dance moves, and the equipment would be complicated. Ryan sat quietly on the chair, forgot about the time as he organized the performance in his head, and on his paper. Music and performing were always his escape to the tangled, messy world he lived in. For a long time, he stopped tormenting himself as he flowed along the melody, smiling and relaxed. It was only when he was swaying around, looking for the right dance moves that he saw the curly hair behind the barely closed door, and his heart sped up. Oh no.

 

 

  
"Uh... Hey? Is this a bad time... Do you have a moment?" Chad awkwardly slid in when he saw Ryan's eyes on him. His face was absolutely disastrous, the guy was being punched and clawed and assaulted by Ryan and had no kind of product to help erasing the bruises. Even on his dark skin, they looked horrible.

 

 

  
Ryan panicked - he didn't know what he should do then, stayed and talked or simply flee away before any bad things happened. He stared at Chad, breathing rapidly and froze in his place.

 

 

  
"Okay, I know you're mad, and I know you're busy, so I will do this quickly." Chad shook his head and stepped closer. "I just want to apologize for...the other day. I was a shitty player, and I started the fight... I really deserved being punched in the face, you know, for calling you that. I don't understand how I could say that, it was thoughtless and stupid."

 

 

  
Ryan still couldn't gather enough words to reply, his wide eyes pinned on Chad. Why would he... He apologized to someone that attacked him?

 

 

  
"Oh, this is bad." Chad muttered to himself. "I'm sorry, Ry, it's just... I was stressful and really angry at myself at that moment, and you were there, so I blamed you instead. I don't want any bad things to happen to us at all. I wasn't feeling stable then--"

 

 

  
"I know." Ryan finally said. He looked at Chad with guilty eyes. "I shouldn't have been so harsh on you, you had just went through some terrible shit and you needed more than a PMSing captain."

 

 

  
"And I also brought this." Chad pushed both of his arms forward, a mug full of dark, hot liquid that had been spreading its sweet scent around the room. How could Ryan didn't notice it? "It'll help. With the stomach and back pain."

 

 

  
The blond was taken aback. "You knew I was going to be on period?"

 

 

  
"Well, yeah. I keep track." Chad nudged the mug to him. "That kinda explained why you punched me when I provoked you. Normally you would just leave me there."

 

 

  
Ryan hesitatingly took the steaming mug from the boy's hands, breathed in the delicious smell of dark chocolate. Chad kept track of his cycle of blood and pain, that's what he called it, and prepared a mug of hot chocolate for him. It shouldn't make him feel so warm, so emotional, but it did, and he looked at Chad's caring eyes. Chad was so nice, so good to him. How could he ever get over this boy?

 

 

  
He raised the mug and sipped the thick, sweet liquid, letting the taste take over his mouth, warming his entire system and especially his stomach. It's not just the pain, it's also the starving sugar-craving monster in him. The third swallow of the hot chocolate and almost all of the lingering pain was gone. Suddenly, he felt so much better, so much like himself.

 

 

  
"Does it hurt?" He peaked from the rim of his mug.

 

 

  
"When I fell from heaven?" The other boy smirked at his own joke, and Ryan said dryly despite all of the chocolate in his throat.

 

 

  
"When I punched you in the face." He rolled his eyes, and Chad laughed. It made Ryan shuddered. The voice was as warm as the chocolate, flooding his ears.

 

 

  
"It's pretty nasty, but I'll be okay." He shrugged. "How can you recover so fast, anyway? I remember hitting you back with quite a lot force, and you already looking like Snow White again."

 

 

  
Ryan finished the hot chocolate, and he reached his hand out, took Chad's wrist to pull him to the chair in the corner. The boy was puzzled, but still followed him anyway, and sat down on the chair as the blond fished his hands in his school bag, looking for something. He came back with a large jar of somekind of expensive cream branding in some language that Chad didn't understand, and carefully opened it. Chad noticed the fading bruises on the back of his hands, on his knuckles too.

 

 

  
"What's that?" Chad asked, and the blond took some cream on his fingers.

 

 

  
"It helps with the bruises. You'll feel better quickly." And he raised his hand closer to Chad's face. For one second, he freaked out, but the cool, reassuring feeling on his cheek stunned him. The bruises on his face hurt for days, even made it difficult for him to eat, or grin. And now, the pain magically subsided anywhere Ryan's soft fingers gently touched him, and before he even know it, he already turning his face to the blond and enthusiastically said, "Here, here, over here, too."

 

 

  
It felt like the touch of the blond's hand sucked all the stinging pain off his skin, and it felt so relieving Chad closed his eyes and purred.

 

 

  
"Better?" Ryan smiled lightly as he finished putting a layer of cream all over Chad's face. He nodded with a wide grin.

 

 

  
"Oh my god, that thing was amazing! What was that?"

 

 

  
"Consider that an apology for attacking you." He turned away, put the jar in his bag. "And a thank you, for the chocolate."

 

 

  
Only then did he notice the slight tremble of the blond's hand. He was trying to hide his expression when he touched Chad, and the dark skinned boy sighed.

 

 

  
"Hey, Ry."

 

 

  
"What?" He took a deep breath.

 

 

  
"Troy and I broke up." Chad bit his lip.

 

 

  
"Sorry to hear that." Ryan still didn't leave his bag, not ready to face him. Even his shoulders started trembling now.

 

 

  
"You have a chance with him now." He looked away. "Go for it."

 

 

  
"What?" Ryan turned around, confused. "What do you mean?"

 

 

  
"Didn't you ignore me because you want Troy and you can't stand looking at him being mine?" Chad's face was miserble. "He never wanted me anyway, Ry. You might have a chance with him."

 

 

  
"Who told you I want Troy?" Ryan opened his eyes wide at him.

 

 

  
"You did! You told me he's your potential target when you forgot I was his boyfriend and it slipped your mind." Chad stood up. "He's not interested in me, but you're better, there might be a chance. I'll be your wingman, I hate how we fought and ignored each other, Ry, you're my best friend, and..."

 

 

  
"I **don't** want to be your friend, Chad." Ryan pushed the heels of his palms on his eyes, sounded like he was about to cry.

 

 

  
"Stop being stubborn and listen to me!" Chad got closer and took his shoulders. "I just want us to be friends again, please don't make it any harder. You didn't want to be my friend before because I was dating Troy, right? I'm not dating him anymore. He's all yours. Why can't we be friends?"

 

 

  
"I don't want to be your friend because I want to be your _boyfriend_ , Chad!" Ryan dropped his hands and exclaimed, his voice broke and trembled. Chad fell silent. "I don't care about Troy! I can't stand looking at you and him because I wanted _you_! You only have eyes for him, and I hate you for it. How can't you understand that?"

 

 

  
He looked at the stunned Chad, face twisted in a broken smile. "I've been there for you all this time, Chad. I've never let you down, ever. I cared for you more than he did. I'm also your team mate, I'm also your best friend, I'm everything that he is, and better. Why didn't you see me? Troy cheated on you, Chad! He doesn't need you anymore. _I_ need you!"

 

 

  
He paused to take a shaky breath. And horrified, realizing what he had just said. Before Chad could say anything, he broke out of his grasps and ran out the door.


	15. Mother knows best

Chad bounced the basketball on the ground a few times and threw it through the hoop in such an easy motion. He wished everything was as easy as scoring, so his head didn't have to crack open everytime he thought about Troy and Ryan. The panic rose in his stomach whenever the upset, painful face of the blond flashed in his eyes, and bitterness growled in his chest whenever the guilty face of the brown haired boy popped up in his head. He was one of the rare guys that could maintain being good at two sports at the same time, and now he couldn't play any of them in peace with an ex of his who had just cheated on him being the captain of the basketball team, or his best friend who had just confessed his love to him being the other captain of the baseball team, without feeling sick. He didn't even have time to mope before Ryan suddenly slammed the confession in his face, and now he was more confused than he could ever be.

 

 

  
He was depressed after the break up with Troy. He hated how pathetic he was, but even when Troy cheated on him, he still regretted asking the guy about it. A part of him kept angrily wondering if he continued to ignore what Troy did and let it go like he always did, would they still be together? No matter what happened, his affection for Troy remained the same, and he knew if the guy ever came back asking for his forgiveness, he would still drop everything to come back to him. He hated how he was giving everything to keep this relationship, but still failed to stop it from slipping away. It was unfair, so unfair. He wanted to hate Troy for doing this to him, making him feel this way, but he just couldn't. He was so frustrated and desperate he even dreamed about being back together a couple with Troy once, and saw him betraying him again. He should be happy, his mind told him. He was finally free of the one who was never in love with him, to have a chance to find someone who really cared. Like Ryan, for example. His heart stung at the name, and it yelled dramatically, screamed and sobbed in pain, missing Troy like crazy. It threw a tantrum in his chest everytime he saw Troy, and he left the practice before he did something he would regret. Like begging Troy to come back to him after being betrayed, his mind sarcastically said.

 

 

  
He showed up to the baseball practice, but Ryan wasn't there. The team was worried sick when they didn't see the blond after knowing he and Ryan went to see each other again, thinking his payback to the losing incident was so serious the blond couldn't make it out of his house. Or worse, the hospital. Thank god Chad was there to defend himself, and they didn't doubt him one bit when he said everything was now fine between him and Ryan, and he was just staying home because he was on period. Most of it was true. He really didn't attack Ryan, and the first part of the conversation was quite great, and Ryan really was on period. But they weren't fine. Not at all. Chad knew he must be panicking and sobbing in a corner right now after exposing himself like that. Chad was sure that a hopelessly romantic guy like Ryan would want his confession to be sweet, cheesy and full of kisses and love, not a dreadful, devastating disaster. And for a long time, he was also sure that the confession would come from a guy that had a crush on Ryan, or at least from Ryan to some other guy, who was absolutely, completely not him.

 

 

  
It's not difficult to recognize the signs, now he realized, but somehow he never did before. Ryan really was the only one that never let him down, never refused anything he asked, and was always there for him. The way he accidentally let their skin touch and the lingering warm after, the way he smiled at Chad encouragingly when Chad was with him on the field. The way his crystal blue eyes shone when he laughed at Chad's joke. The way he always knew what Chad meant, what Chad needed, from watching him quietly, observing all the time. The way his cheeks were slightly pinker than usual when Chad playfully rested his head on his thighs and fell asleep without noticing. And the gentle, endearing way he reached his hands up to touch Chad: brushed his hair aside, playing with the curls, and putting cream on his bruises. He didn't recognize it before, but now he did. It was loving, but also painful. And it tore him apart to know he was the one who put the painful fracture into Ryan's smile. He was absurdly oblivious of everything Ryan did for him, and leaving the blond hopeless.

 

 

  
"Sweetie? Dinner's ready." His mom's voice broke the line of his thoughts, and he held the ball in his hand, heading back inside the house, where his mothers and sister was waiting.

 

 

  
He remembered to wash his hands first, or else the little demon would shriek until he made sure she saw his hands were clean, and sat down on the table. His moms were chattering cheerfully about their day, his sister was looking lovingly at the mouth-watering lasagna on the table, and they all smiled when he came.

 

 

  
"Hey, honey." His mother, Cassandra, asked. "How's school today?"

 

 

  
"Everything's great, mom." He tried to fake a smile, but failed miserably and stared down at his plate in stead. He started the meal in silence, the taste of the supposedly delicious meatballs was like sand paper in his mouth, but he still tried to finish all of his food. No matter how much he didn't want to eat anything at all, he still needed the energy for all the sports. He was an adult now, so being responsible with his own health was necessary.

 

 

  
His moms looked at him worriedly from the other side of the table, and he knew that, but he couldn't make his face less wretched. Unlike Ryan, he wasn't an actor. He only broke up with Troy for a while and everything already looked like hell, how could the blond stand being his best friend all the time, seeing his crush beung with someone else and still keep a calm expression? How long had Ryan wanted him, anyway? No wonder he decided to flirt with the whole student body.

 

 

  
"Chad, honey, are you okay?" His other mom, Kelly, reached her hand over the table and put it over his, slightly tilted her head to look at him. "You don't seem well lately. Your team mates don't come over. Is there something wrong?"

 

 

  
He had been denying the question for days. Every meal, everytime they saw him, they asked him the same question, just different words. _Honey, are you okay? Chad, how's everything? Is there something wrong? You know you can tell us anything, right?_ He was still too confused to think of a way to tell his parents. He knew they wanted to help, but he just needed some time to let everything sink in before he was ready to answer all of the questions and listen to all of the comfort, the advices, and the sorries. He didn't want to hear it from anyone. Kelsi, Ryan's best girl friend, tried to approach him, but he kept silent and left without saying anything. Sharpay interrogated him, but he found a way to escape her claws everytime. The last thing he needed was someone to blame him for breaking Ryan's heart.

 

 

  
But it's been days now, and he knew he was making his moms worried. They cared for him, and he shouldn't let them worried. "Troy broke up with me, mom."

 

 

  
Both of them stared at each other in horror, and Kelly immediately left her seat to go over to his and have him a hug. He sighed, trying not to show weakness.

 

 

  
"I'm so sorry, sweetie," She kissed his forehead, hand brushed his hair aside, an action that reminded of Ryan's hand on his hair. "What happened?"

 

 

  
"He cheated on me with someone over the summer." Chad muttered. "I was tired of always forgiving him, so I asked him about it, and he decided to break up."

 

 

  
"It's terrible, baby. I could never imagine Troy did something like that." Kelly stroke his cheeks, and he had to roll his eyes.

 

 

  
"He was a jerk to me." He said what his mind told him. "I don't want to have anything to do with him anymore."

 

 

  
Cass looked at him from the other side of the table, doubtfully, but she didn't say anything. She must have seen through his lie, knowing her son and his affection for Troy so well. His sister got off her tiny chair and came over to hug him too.

 

 

  
"If you need to talk about anything, we're here for you." Cass said endearingly from her seat, squeezing his hand over the table. "Did you tell your friends about this? Dave? Zeke? Taylor? Ryan?"

 

 

  
He stared at her, and bit his lip. "I had a fight with Ryan the other day. We... It was nasty. He has been ignoring and avoiding me lately, and I didn't know why, so I was pretty mad. We yelled at each other after losing a game, and we fought..."

 

 

  
"So that's where you got your bruises?" Kelly raised her voice. "You told us a basketball hit you in the face!"

 

 

  
"I called Ryan a... Because he was dating a lot of random guys without knowing who was good for him and they were all so hideous... I insulted him, and he attacked me." Chad lowered his gaze to the floor. "I thought he was acting like that to me was because he had a crush on Troy."

 

 

  
"Ryan had a crush on Troy?" Both of his moms exclaimed.

 

 

  
"No, turned out he didn't. I went to apologize him the other day, and he apologized to me, too. He get this cream for me that made the bruises go away quickly." He nervously touched the side of his face, where most of the swollen bruises lied the day after the fight. Now they were almost gone. "I asked him about the thing with Troy and... And he said he didn't want Troy, he wanted me."

 

 

  
"Oh." Cass blinked.  
The room fell silent, and he looked around. "Why isn't anyone saying anything?"

 

 

  
Kelly took a deep breath and looked away. "We're... surprised to know that he finally said it."

 

 

  
"What do you mean?" He opened his eyes wide at them, and Cass shook her head.

 

 

  
"We already knew he liked you, honey. The poor boy, he was really sad when he saw you and Troy together. We know Troy was with you longer, but Ryan cared for you a lot. More than we expected from a friend of yours. Troy was energetic, carefree and childish like you, but he was...observant. More mature, more caring, and, to be honest, Kelly liked him more than Troy."

 

 

  
"You knew?" He looked at Cass, and turned to Kelly, and back at Cass again. "Why didn't you tell me?"

 

 

  
"What good would that be, Chad? You were happy with Troy." Kelly put a hand on his shoulder. "We didn't want to ruin your happiness. And he didn't want your friendship with him to be awkward, so he accepted to be your friend. I guess he lost his patience when he ignored you and the fight was a way for him to express his frustration."

 

 

  
Chad sighed, he didn't even know what to say. He looked at his mothers, hand pinched his forehead. "I don't know what I should do now, mom. I'm afraid I might fall back to Troy again and I don't want it, but I..."

 

 

  
"Shh, it's okay, honey." Kelly hugged him again. "Troy cheated on you. He would never get you back again. The silly boy didn't know what he lost."

 

 

  
"I know, mom, it's just I can't say no whenever he--this guy he's been going out with, he's not...good. He won't treat him right. He will come back to me, and I will... And god, Ryan's my best friend, he's not speaking to me anymore because I broke his heart, I can't lose both of my boyfriend and best friend like this..."

 

 

  
"Chad, honey?" Cass suddenly said, and he looked up at her. "If you're so afraid of coming back to Troy again, why don't you give Ryan a chance?"

 

 

  
He stared. And stared. And after a minute, he still couldn't find a word.

 

 

  
"You don't have to fall in love with him immediately, sweetheart. Just ask him out, hanging out on dates, getting to know each other, like normal teenagers." Cass said. "Tell him you want to start over, give you both a chance. That boy was an angel. Get your attention off Troy for a second and you'll soon realize he was the best for you."

 

 

  
"What if I don't think we should be together even after a while?" He asked nervously.

 

 

  
"Oh, honey, you will."


	16. A lovely night

Chad spent an afternoon, choosing a suitable outfit for his date with Ryan that evening. At first, the idea of asking Ryan out was totally insane to him. They were almost like brothers, the best kind of friends that would help each other on dates with people and matchmaking each other with someone cute, not trying to get each other into a relationship. And having Ryan as a boyfriend immediately after he broke up with Troy when he wasn't entirely over the boy made him feel like he was using Ryan. But the surprised, full of joy way the blond react and the sunny smile on his face when Chad nervously danced around the idea of them having a date suddenly erased all of his doubt. Ryan was anxious when he saw Chad sitting down on the seat next to him in class, eyes glued to the floor and heart beat so hard in his chest even Chad could hear it from the other side. However, when the dark skinned boy broke the silence by asking if Ryan was free for a date Wednesday evening, he let out a laugh, the high, shaky, relieving sound of a ringing bell, and happily gave him a nodd, and now, here Chad was, digging through his closet for hours to look for what to wear. It's been ages since he finally got to see a happy, cheerful Ryan, and it's like the world had been lifted off his heavy chest. Suddenly everything seemed so much brighter, and turned out the lack of Troy wasn't the only thing that caused his sorrow lately. Having Ryan back by his side already made everything a lot better than he expected.  
He didn't really care if he's gonna fall in love with Ryan or not. Even when he wouldn't, having the blond here was already a blessing. And the thought made him less insecure when it came to tonight's date: He was just Ryan. Chad wasn't going out with some strange guys that he needed to flirt, to seduce, or to impress. He could be relaxed, be himself, and Ryan would be easy. Still, knowing the blond's standard for fashion, he knew he had to put on something good to show Ryan his effort. He could never match Ryan's sense of fashion, he knew, but as long as he showed that he cared, Ryan would appreciate it, just like everytime. Oh, that dark blue t-shirt and brown leather jacket looked nice. Not flaming, but still stylish, and manly. He would wear it with a pair of neat slacks, and everything would be fine. Now he just needed to take a shower and put the outfit on.

 

 

  
His car was broken right after the day he mentioned the date to Ryan, what an awful ton of bad luck, Chad had to struggle to find something else, but the blond shook his head and said he would be happy to drive over and pick Chad up before the date. He wondered if the boy would drive his gorgeous new fancy convertible here and let him have another chance of sitting inside a high class car. It would be thrilling.

 

 

  
"Chad, Ryan's here!" His mom called from downstairs, and he quickly dried himself with a towel.

 

 

  
"I'm coming down now, mom!" He put on the clothes, not forgetting to fix his curly hair into its perfect attractive shape, and rushed downstairs. Waiting for him in the living room with his mothers was Ryan, in his black-pink-white outfit, grinned a rather startled grin in his direction. Cass was having the same stiff smile, so the high chance was she had just threatened him with something.

 

 

  
"It's okay mom, my virtue is safe with Ryan." He rolled his eyes at Cass and pulled the poor boy out of his mother's grip to the car before anything happened. "I'll be back before midnight, love you."

 

 

  
"Have a fun night, sweeties!" Kelly called after them, and they got into Ryan's car. He started the engine and looked at Chad.

 

 

  
"So, your moms were the one talking you into this?" He tilted his head, the shiny dark leather hat matched his leather jacket perfectly, and he had this pink scarf that was the same color as his under shirt. Chad knew nothing about clothes and he still saw the dashing outfit way too attractive. Like something movie stars should wear.

 

 

  
"What do you mean?" He asked, not really sure.

 

 

  
"It was your moms' idea for you to go out on a date with me?" Ryan pulled out of the front yard, didn't look really into the question. Chad knew he was pretending.

 

 

  
"Yeah. They said they knew you had something for me a long time ago,"

 

 

  
"Oops."

 

 

  
"And they thought it would be nice for us to give a try." Chad shrugged. "They told you that when you were waiting in the living room?"

 

 

  
"It was only a part of it." The blond grinned. "They also warned me about hurting their little Chad, and if I ever tried to attack you again, I would face my doom."

 

 

  
"Yay, mom." Chad muttered, tried not to blush from embarrassment. Ryan was supposed to be the papa's boy, not him. He was cool.

 

 

  
"You know, if you don't want to do it, you could just say no." Ryan spoke quietly, eyes not leaving the road. "No need to follow every of your moms'--"

 

 

  
"No, I want to do it." Chad cut him off, reached over to put a hand on his arm. "You want a chance to be with someone you like, I need a chance to be with someone nice. This is going to be great."

 

 

  
"If this works--" Ryan blinked. "You know I'll never do anything like what Troy did to you."

 

 

  
"I know you won't." Chad said, genuinely, naturally without thinking, and surprised when he saw the blond's face lit up with a smile. How he loved that smile. It made him automatically happy: no matter what was happening, even when nothing was happening at all, or when he was upset, all of his grumpiness evaporated. Ryan had that kind of talent, he made people fall for him with only a sunny, innocent, oblivious smile. Like he had no idea he stole people's heart with that smile of his.

 

 

  
"Since you were the one asking me out," He drove slowly. "I guess you're the one showing me where we're gonna go?"

 

 

  
"Yeah, turn right." Chad pointed at the turn. It should worried him, their destination would not be something fancy and expensive like probably most of Ryan's favorite restaurants, but all of the anxiety was washed away as he looked at the blond and the silly smile that didn't leave his lips. He was happy, so happy he shuddered with excitement every once in a while.

 

 

  
"So, uh, how's everyone in the team?" For the first time, he saw Ryan stammering and not knowing what to say. It was incredibly weird, usually, it was impossible to shut him up. Not that he wasn't cute when he was nervous.  
"Well, they miss their captain. But hey, it happens every month, to everybody." Chad turned to him. "How are you feeling, anyway? Is your back still hurt?"

 

 

  
"A little, but it's okay." The blond bit his lip, Chad could see how he nervously tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. But he managed a smile. "It'll be better soon. It's really nice of you to ask."

 

 

  
"Hey, there's no need to be nervous." Chad squeezed his shoulder. "It's just me. I'm not a scary monster, aren't I?"

 

 

  
"Sorry." The blond mumbled. His cheeks reddened as he spoke. "It's just I... This is a dream come true, you know? I never thought we could have a chance. I thought you would never set your eyes on me. I really want you, but I never thought it's possible."

 

 

  
"Why can't it be?" Chad grinned. "You're, like, the most desirable guy. It's obviously understandable if I like you. No one gave me a second look when I told them I was going to ask you out. Everyone wants to, so."

 

 

  
His pale cheeks turned rosy red as he smiled back, and Chad didn't hear him whispered, "Not everyone."

 

 

  
"Hey, we're here!" Chad looked out the window, and Ryan followed his gaze. They came to a large open ground, and the blond saw a picnic blanket with a bunch of candles and a bouquet of rose next to it. It was cute, but the thing that caught his eyes was the huge screen planted in front of him: it had to be even larger than the screen in his home cinema, and the ground was empty. They are the only ones that were there, and everything was all laid out for them.

 

 

  
"You planned all of this?" The blond laughed in disbelief, and Chad got out of the car, opened the door for him.

 

 

  
"You said you liked everything romantic. So I hope candles and roses are okay."

 

 

  
Ryan chuckled as he followed Chad to the picnic blanket, sat down and held on the bouquet as the curly haired boy placed it in his hand. "It's more cheesy, really. It's not the 80s, Chad. What movie did you get this from?"

 

 

  
Chad freaked out a bit, thinking he messed up, but the blond smiled and held his hand. "But I like it, so keep it this way."

 

 

  
Phew. He turned to unlock his phone, and turned the giant LED screen on with just a swipe. One look and Ryan knew it was one of his most favorite musical movies: La la land. He watched the movie countless times, and knew all the lyrics of every song. Even the dance moves. Of both Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone. The story was a combination of his dream and his own reality: the love story between a pianist and an actress in the middle of the city of stars, with so much hope and ambition and a bit of regret in the end. He understood every line of the movie perfectly, understood every moment, every detail of it, because he felt like he was them. Soon, he would be them when he graduated from college and go on following his passion of dancing. It was a shame that the main couple was a pair of straight guy and girl, or else he might have daydreamed himself as one of them and the love of his life as the other. It's been a while since he had the time to sit down and enjoy a good movie.

 

 

  
"I know you've watched it a thousand times, but--" The blond put a finger on Chad's lips before he could finish. The curly haired boy blinked, and Ryan snuggled closer, eyes focused on the screen. He let out a small laugh as he shook his head and gingerly held the other boy close, letting the warmth washed over him. The feelings of the soft flesh, the warm skin and the strands of tickling hair brushing against his chin were familiar. More familiar to him than he remembered, and it made his nervous heart slowed down a little. Hanging out with Ryan now as a date instead of a friend was different, but somehow still the same.  
And only now did he have the chance to stop paying all of his attention to Troy and looked at the blond for a while. The movie was Ryan's favorite, so Chad was sure he had watched it over and over a million times: it was something that he always does. When he liked a song, or a movie, or a play, he would watch or listen to it non stop for months without getting bored for a second. Chad could bet his lucky basketball that the blond could recite all of the lines and lyrics by heart.

 

 

  
But today, he didn't, and that surprised Chad more than anything. He waited a long time for Ryan to whisper all of the words in time with the actors, like he did whenever he watched his favorite movies, but he heard nothing. The boy sat still next to him, eyes wide with surprise and wonder when he looked at the couple onscreen, a smile flashed over his face. He was completely into the movie, hypnotized by it, forgetting everything else around him, like it was the first time he saw it. It was strange, but so beautiful at the same time. The way he ducked his head and chuckled anytime Emmanuel Stone appeared on screen as Jeremiah, and the way him and Sebastian swayed around each other. Soon, Chad realized he was looking at Ryan more than the movie.

 

 

  
He noticed so many things he hadn't before as years being friends, and the more he looked, the more fascinated he was. He looked at the boy's profile, the elegant curve of his nose, the lovely, unique shape of his pink lips, slowly understood why boys at school threw themselves over the blond's feet. And Chad didn't even have enough time to look at him, Ryan started singing to the songs in the movie. Like how he slowly got used to the movie and finally broke out into songs, like he always did. The light happiness and excitement in his voice, the bright smile he wore regardless of the scenes, and he swayed his torso like he was about to dance. Sometimes he turned sideway to look at Chad, caught Chad watching him, and instead of blushing away, he grinned back sunnily as he continued to sing more loudly and freely, held Chad's hand and leaned on him. Before Chad knew it, he was singing in harmony with the blond's lovely voice, and he flinched a second. He never sang, or danced, or anything such. He saw Ryan did all of those things, cheered for him as he did it, but he never sang, until now. The atmostphere, the melody, and the sweet voice of the boy sitting next to him somehow turned on a switch in him: making him realize things that he never thought of. The passion seeped from the blond's voice to his surroundings, magically lit up the space, made the grass suddenly greener, the sky suddenly more deeply blue, the stars suddenly more sparkling, and Chad suddenly more carefree.

 

 

  
So he sat there, going through all of the duets with Ryan, gently caressed the blond's hair as he forgot all of the status quo about not singing or dancing. He didn't sing, but when he sang like this, he realized his voice was quite amazing. And how it blended perfectly with Ryan's voice made it even better.


	17. The unfinished kiss

Ryan swore to God, if there was one more person barging into the room saying they were worried about him and Chad, he was gonna die. Just simply, die right there. First, it was Sharpay who shrieked and shook his shoulders so hard he thought his head might fall off from his neck. She spent the evening lecturing him about not being a replacement, a substitution to Chad no matter how much he was desperate to be seen, because it would only end in pain. Chad had just broke up with Troy, and he was looking for something to make up to the lost. He needed to have more willpower to refuse, to say no and not lowering himself down for just a guy. He didn't let any of her words get to him. He cut her off, saying he knew what he was doing, and kicked her out of his room til the end of the week.

 

 

  
And then there was Kelsi, who timidly asked him about his new boyfriend when they were practicing for the school's show in the music room. She said she thought that being rushed into an immediate relationship right after both him and Chad had just gone through a break up was not a good idea, and maybe he should spend some time to think before things went bad. Like she was sure that they would. It pissed him off, and he wordlessly stopped his dance practice mid air to get out of the room before she had the chance to say anything else.

 

 

  
And then there was his baseball team mates, who were stunned to see the two of them dating only a week after punching each other's face off. They wondered, and whispered, and looked at them with strange eyes. They still loved them, of course, no one could be more glad when they came back to the team with all conflicts fixed and restored the world peace. The time they were at war was like a living hell to all of the rest of the team, and Ryan knew it. He tried to make it up to them by taking them to his home for a post practice party or sleepover, or took them to the cinema or a fair and covered all of the expenses. One thing that was true in both worlds, was that boys were forgetful. And easy to please. But the peaceful, united atmosphere didn't explain why suddenly the two of them were dating right when Chad left Troy, and when Ryan left his last boyfriend. And all of the unsaid questions got into Ryan's nerves. They were probably thinking the same as everyone else, that Chad was using him to replace the gap Troy left behind, and Ryan, either was also using Chad to get the sex and to boost his ego, or fell for Chad's trap cluelessly and blindly from one-sided love. It was not only the baseball team's thoughts: he was sure that he heard the rumours from a gossip minion girl of Sharpay, and they spread among the student body like fire in a field.

 

 

  
And there was this theory, this rumour, about a triangle love between him, Chad and Troy that was so dumb he groaned in frustration when he heard about it. It said Chad was in love with Troy, but then Troy was secretly in love with him, so Troy dumped Chad. Chad found out he was stealing Troy away from him, so they got into a fight, and Chad planned on revenging Troy by basically stealing Ryan back so Troy couldn't have what he wanted. It could be printed into a best seller romantic novel, really, like Twilight, if only a part of it was true. It's like this whole school had nothing else to do but making up stories about them, trying to explain what they saw them doing with the crazy imagination.

 

 

  
Seemed like nobody believed that what was happening between them was real. He knew, it was absolutely silly to keep defending his decision when he had already said yes to Chad, like he was some naive eleven year old girl went chasing after her true love regardless of what everybody else said. He knew that there was something rushed, something wrong, and unnatural in this. And he knew he was supposed to refuse, to make sure he didn't look desperate and needy, like some puppy that followed Chad all the time and was always ready to be Chad's plaything. But he wanted this so bad. He had always been wanting to be with Chad and he lived for months in this strange, up side down world in depress and anger, looking at Chad being with someone else. First it was Taylor, and before, there was Troy. He was frustrated, and maybe, he was a little needy and desperate. He wasn't sure if this could be going anywhere, but he hoped that it could so bad he was willing to risk everything. Fine, Chad could be using him. Chad could be confused, and might eventually leave him. But he knew he would never really know what was going to happen if he didn't try. Chad gave him a chance, and there's nothing could stop him from grabbing it. And it's not like he had anything to lose.

 

 

  
"Hey, Ryan." Zac poked his head in, and the blond glared at him.

 

 

  
"Say one more word about me and Chad and I'll kick you out."

 

 

  
The dark skinned boy quickly came in and shut the door behind him. "Too late, you can't."

 

 

  
"Oh for God's sake!" Ryan slapped his own forehead. "You're the one making this whole mess just so I can be with Chad!"

 

 

  
"And it's not like I'm trying to separate you two. I just want you to be happy. And if Chad doesn't really want you, I don't want you to get hurt." Zac used his softest voice to calm the blond down.

 

 

  
"He wants me." Ryan stared at him stubbornly, swept away all of the little voice in his head doubting his own words. "And he's not using me, and I'm not using him, and we're fine."

 

 

  
"Are you certain about that? Do you really, truly believe it?" Zac bent down to be the same eye level as him.

 

 

  
"I am, and I do." Even when they had been together for weeks and Chad never tried to kiss him, and he wasn't sure if the boy wanted to, so he didn't make the first move. They hang out, they went on dates, cuddled and showed sickenly sweet and romantic gestures, but they hadn't kissed. Just like him and Zac in the early days of their short-lived relationship.

 

 

  
"Sorry, I'm just worried." Zac smiled weakly. "You've been dating and... with a lot of guys lately, and..."

 

 

  
"No need to worry about me using Chad for sex," Ryan rolled his eyes. "We haven't even kissed yet."

 

 

  
"No, really?" The boy stared at him in disbelief.

 

 

  
"Yeah, really. We're taking this really slow, so you can put your mind at rest."

 

 

  
"Well then, just keep in mind that we're always here for you." The boy gave him a loose hug.

 

 

  
"Thanks, Zac." Ryan hugged him back, a thousand questions swam in his thoughts. Doubt and trust was fighting inside him, and he hated himself for letting it happened.

 

 

  
"By the way, the basketball match against West High is in two days, are you coming to see us? Chad's gonna appreciate it." Zac twirled the large orange ball in his hand, and Ryan nodded immediately.

 

 

  
"Of course I gotta be there! It's the last game Chad played as an East High Wildcat, I have to see him win."

 

 

  
"I'm sure he's gonna rock." Zac grinned. "Hey, you know that I'm the only freshman that doesn't have to sit on the bench next game? It's awesome!"

 

 

  
"You've been babbling about that since the beginning of the championship, so yeah, I know." Ryan rolled his eyes. "Just try and I'm sure you'll be half as good as Chad one day."

 

 

  
"Yeah, right." Zac laughed sarcastically and waved him goodbye, leaving the music room.

 

 

Ryan's smile faded the moment the boy stepped out of the door, and he stared silently into nothingness, wondering if what he was doing was wise.

 

 

  
.  
.  
.

 

 

  
Ryan was trying to ask Chad something, but he couldn't do it. Chad waited for him to say it out loud, but eventually he hesitated and brushed it away everytime. It made Chad nervous, and sometimes he wondered if Ryan really had feelings for him like he was told. He had known the blond for a long time, and never had he seen him so timid and reserved. Not so shy as Gabriella the first days she moved to East High, of course, if it wasn't for her spontaneous urge to audition for Twinkle Towne and got paired up with Sharpay and basically kicked Ryan off the lead, she would still be the quiet girl at the back of the class. He used to hate Gabi for it, but thanks to her, Ryan finally had the opportunity to go solo and shine bright as the star he was now, so Chad gave up his petty hatred and befriended her instead. (Not before Ryan's angry scolding about being nice to his sister's girlfriend, of course). Ryan was not as shy as Gabi, but he was still more reserved than the sunny, outgoing and talkative blond he was used to staying with.   
He had to mention that Ryan was in an absolutely different way of being attractive with his new nervousness, like how he always asked if Chad was okay with him coming to the basketball practice to bring him water, or with him driving Chad to school every morning. It was goofy, it was silly and sweet, but he couldn't help feeling that Ryan was walking on eggshells around him, and that worried him. It's like Ryan was afraid that Chad would be mad at him and hate him if he just made one mistake. Or maybe it's like Ryan wasn't that much interested in him.

 

 

  
The blond was the one asking for this, he knew, but he couldn't help wondering if Ryan had grown bored of him so quickly. He hated that thought. For a long time, he finally got his mind off Troy and torturing himself thinking about his broken relationship for once. Being with Ryan was nice, he felt appreciated, wanted and cared for, and he loved the blond's sense of humor, gorgeous smile and his weird obsessions over music and movies. It calmed him, comforted him, and he saw himself slowly getting over Troy. Instead of lying awake at night thinking about the brown haired boy, angry and hurt, he now slept peacefully after wishing good night on the phone, a certain blond in his thoughts. He could go to basketball practice and look at Troy in the eyes without feeling nauseous, and suddenly throwing the ball into the hoop went back easy as it always were. No more glooming and frowning, and more singing, funny, adorable texts and warm cuddling. He knew it was the start of something new, and he couldn't wait to continue it.

 

 

  
But not when Ryan never showed any interest in kissing him. They've been holding hands, hugging and grooming, kissing each other's forehead, but never a kiss on the lips. Fine, he admitted that he was not making the first move because he was still too used to kissing Troy, and he was nervous. But Ryan hadn't tried either, so it was reasonable that he was insecure. He didn't want to lose this chance with Ryan.

 

 

  
Chad sighed and looked around another time to find the familiar car, but no one showed up. Normally, Troy would be the one taking him home if his car went wrong, but since they hadn't talked to each other since the day they broke up, saved for the communication in the games, Chad decided that it was better to come home with Ryan. Listening to him singing along the radio was recharging. But he's finished after school practicing for half an hour and still didn't see any sign of Ryan. The blond was never late, he only needed to walk from the music room to the parking lot and drive to the gate where Chad was waiting, that shouldn't take long. He slumped against the gate, looked at the unread text on the screen of his phone, not knowing what to do.

 

 

  
He waited like that for another ten minutes before he decided to just call his mom to come get him instead. Thankfully, right before he could press call, Ryan's car rocketed to his spot and the blond slammed the break when it was a second from hitting the pavement. Chad walked to the other side of th car and opened the door, sat into the passenger seat. The blond was looking at him apologetically and bit his lip.

 

 

  
"I thought you were in the music room, where did you go?" Chad raised his eyebrow, and Ryan shook his head.

 

 

  
"It's nothing." He leaned over to brush his cheek against Chad's. "I'm so sorry, there was some problem with the dry cleaner and I had to even skip the rehearsal. I got here as soon as I can. How long have you been waiting?"

 

 

  
"Not long." Chad shrugged and fastened his seatbelt. "It's okay, if you were busy, you should have called and I'll call my mom to pick me up."

 

 

  
"Hey, I promised you I'd do it." The blond turned the wheel and drove away from the school. "I have to."

 

 

  
"Is it okay for you to skip the rehearsal?" Chad asked after a while. "I thought it was important."

 

 

  
"Well, it is, but I rehearsed my number for a thousand times now, and Kelsi was there to make sure the rest of the show was in line, so everything's great. And with the big game tomorrow, who cares?" Ryan laughed.

 

 

  
"Yeah, all of my periods today were free so I could be practicing with the team. No teacher batted an eye." Chad grinned.

 

 

  
"I saw how the West High Knights been playing recently, there is no way they can defeat us." The blond pouted. "No idea how they can make this far."

 

 

  
"You saw?" Chad was taken aback. He didn't think Ryan would care enough about basketball to follow the information, with all of his time eaten by the coming school music production, the baseball team and his association.

 

 

  
"Of course I do," Ryan looked at him with wide, blue, innocent eyes. "You're in the basketball team. I have to see you play."

 

 

  
Chad almost grabbed the other boy's shirt to kiss him for that. It was unexpectedly sweet and thoughtful, something Chad couldn't know how Ryan could do, but he was glad. He knew basketball bored Ryan to death. Like he could fall asleep without knowing it only fifteen minutes after the game started no matter how hard he tried to stay awake and understand what was going on. He must have spent a lot of time to watch the whole championship just to know who Chad was playing against.

 

 

  
Ryan didn't notice Chad's brown eyes staring at him. He slowed down the car in front of Chad's door and turned around, almost had an heart attack with the curly haired boy's face only a few inches from his.

 

 

  
Chad's fingers gently stroke his cheeks and jaw, their nose touched, and he smiled.

 

 

"You're coming to see me play tomorrow, then?"

 

 

  
"You have to ask?" Ryan rolled his eyes and closed the distance between them.

 

 

  
The touch of Ryan's soft, silky lips on his own was like electricity through his body, so different from the familiar kisses, the texture of Troy's lips, so strange, and he jerked back before he even know it.

 

 

  
Ryan's eyes filled with shock and sadness as they stared at Chad, panicking and questioning.

 

 

  
"What did I do wrong?" The blond asked, hands gripped tight on his sleeves, lips wobbled.

 

 

  
"No, you did nothing wrong, I..." Chad shook his head and opened the door quickly. "Have something to do, see you tomorrow at the game."

 

 

  
And he ran inside, knowing a pair of painful blue eyes was following him.


	18. Wildcats

Chad couldn't sleep, and he knew it was bad, being restless the night before a big game, but he wasn't in the mood for the big game at the moment. He was more concerned of himself being the biggest idiot in the universe to treat Ryan like a dick. He frustratingly turned aside on his bed, tugging the covers until they left his worn out, sweaty body. He had been wide awake for hours, and probably would stay that way until morning.   
The more times he replayed the last evening's scene between him and Ryan, the more upset he was at himself. It was a mess, an absolute mess. And everything was worse when the truth was, it wasn't that terrible in the first place. They spent their short time in the car together talking, laughing and Chad made the most of it by looking and appreciating the blond's gorgeous profile all the way. It was supposed to be great, promising, when Ryan said he would certainly go to the East vs West game to support him, and it was heart warming, until he messed up everything by jerking back from the kiss. He wanted to kiss Ryan, he did, but he had spent so long knowing nobody other than Troy, and he wasn't entirely over him. And that turned out to be the death of him, when all he could think about was how Ryan's lips weren't like Troy's, how they were so much softer, wetter, different. Unfamiliar. And the sweet scent came from the boy's lips was nothing like the strong smell and taste of Troy. Chad freaked out for a second and he pulled away immediately.

 

 

  
When he opened his eyes, the blond looked so sad he felt like a murderer for putting the look in there. He panicked even more, not knowing if he should kiss Ryan again, or leave, and the blond grabbed his sleeves, desperately asking what he did wrong. No, the only wrong thing here was Chad and Ryan had nothing to do with it, he should have said it, but he was too stupid to clear things out between them, and instead he ran away. He knew the blond must be hurt so much after that, and he cursed himself more times than he could count.

 

 

  
He didn't even say hi to his mom when he burst through the door, still panic, into bolted to his room and locked it shut. He then spent hours curling on his bed, trying to calm himself down, and hating himself for acting so stupid. There was more than a few times he got off from his bed to text Ryan, but the blond didn't reply. He kept texting sorries, and sending voice mails trying to explain and apologize, and calling directly, but none of that worked. Ryan just simply stopped talking to him like he evaporated from the surface of the earth. After assaulting Ryan's inbox from all of the accounts that he owned and blowing up his phone with texts and missed calls, Chad slumped down on his bed and cursing himself. The thought of trying to reach out to Sharpay was terrifying enough. If she knew he hurt Ryan's feelings, he would be dead before he had a chance to say a word to the blond.

 

 

  
He painfully realized that even when he liked Ryan so much and wanted nothing more than to be with him, some of Troy was still left in his mind and he couldn't gather enough courage to erase it. His mom Kelly knocked on the door for a moment, checking up on him, but he pretended to be asleep and skipped dinner. He tried to, but everytime he closed his eyes, Ryan's hurting expression, desperately asking what he did wrong, flared behind his eyelids, and he snapped his eyes open. And sometimes, when he was too exhausted and drifted off for a moment, Troy's lips were on his and Troy's hands grabbed his wrists, murmuring that he always knew Chad would always come back to him. And he woke up on the bed, heart racing and aching, remembering how he didn't even try to get away from Troy in his dream. He had leaned in and kissed him without hesitation, without caring about Ryan. It was more frustrating than anything he had encountered.

 

 

  
The morning quickly rose up from the horizon and brutally dragged Chad off bed to get ready for today's final game. He brushed his teeth, took a shower and changed into new clothes before coming downstairs for breakfast. His moms saw his miserable face, but neither of them asked. They both knew it had something to do with him and Chad last night.

 

 

  
"Honey, try to eat something." Kelly stroke his hair gently. "You've already skipped dinner last night."

 

 

  
Chad nodded and sat in the table, gingerly stuffed food into his mouth. It's the big game today, it was his last chance to play as a basketballer of the Wildcats, he needed to be at his best.

 

 

  
Both Cass and Kelly took him to the game today, since they were all coming to cheer for him. The bright, enthusiastic and exciting atmosphere distracted him from Ryan a bit, and he took a deep breath before stepping into the locker room. He needed to win this fight before coming to Ryan. The Wildcats were the pride and joy of the whole East High, and he was highly responsible for the team's spirit and victory. He needed to get his head in the game and take care of this first.  
He came in, high fiving and shook hands with the guys like usual and turned to his locker to change into his uniform. He ignored Troy in the corner of his eyes, and yelled with his strong voice. "WHAT TEAM?"

 

 

  
"WILDCATS!"  
"WHAT TEAM?"  
"WILDCATS!"  
"WILDCATS!"  
"GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME!"

 

 

  
The entire room exploded when they ran into the court in two lines, both took turns throwing the balls onto the board as they returned to their team's row of bench. Way to make an entrance, he must say. All of the East High student body and even the school staff were on the bleachers, cheering and screaming at the top of their lungs. Basketball was the spirit of the entire school, even math nerds and members of other sports teams were there. There was a giant glittery red Wildcat cardboard head on the rows of seat, and the large mascot jumping and doing amazing backflips waiting for them. Huh, he didn't know the mascot got such awesome moves, must be a new guy, Joey who took the costume last game was a bore. The cheerleaders, both male and female, were performing some impressive moves and choreography that was heating up the whole room, and the noise drowned all of Chad's concern. He loved the atmosphere, he loved the deafening noise of a basketball game, and he could feel the excitement growing inside him.

 

 

  
While waiting for the West High Knights to make their entrance, he couldn't help from scanning through the bleachers quickly. He saw his moms, cheering loudly, his baseball team mates, jumping in their seats, Gabriella and Taylor with their science club came to cheer for Dan, their club member's boyfriend, and the drama club with Kelsi and even Sharpay. That was strange, because Sharpay never came to basketball matches of the Wildcats before. And Ryan... Ryan never missed any matches of the Wildcats before.  
Chad looked for him over and over, but no sign of him anywhere on the rows of seat among his fellows baseballers or drama club members, and his heart sank. Yes, the blond promised to come and watch him play, but unfortunately, it was before Chad dropped him, so he doubted Ryan would show up. His actions created a large crack in their relationship last night, and he hadn't done anything to fix it, so clearly Ryan wouldn't be here to see him. He just wanted to confirm the situation.

 

 

  
Zac seemed to recognize him looking and approached, elbowed his side.

 

 

  
"What?" Chad raised his eyebrow, and the dark skinned boy gestured his head over the other side of the court, where the cheerleaders were dancing in front of the East High students.

 

  
"The mascot."

 

 

  
"What?" He repeated, realizing Zac was trying to point at the huge furry being behind the cheerleaders, who was doing some sort of funny disco dance and Chad chuckled.  
Zac rolled his eyes as he whistled loudly, catching the mascot's attention among the chaos of the room. The wildcat turned around, and he pointed at Chad with a weird face. Chad swore he could see the guy under the large head groan and he quickly took the huge head off his own.

 

 

  
Standing there, in a thick, furry and heavy costume, with a giant wildcat head on his hand and sweat drenched his face, was Ryan. The blond grinned at him sunnily and waved, mouthing something like Sorry I forgot to tell you before hurriedly put the head back on and started shimmying. Chad was frozen in his place, wasn't sure if he should laugh, or cry.

 

 

  
"Game on!" The cheerleaders yelled, and the yell pulled Chad back to reality. He and Zac quickly got out to the court along with the rest of the team, and the game began.

 

 

  
The West High Knights obviously wanted to be the champion a lot more than them, considering that they hadn't won the cup for seven years. It was the first time in forever they got into the final, and they were ready to do anything to win. Even using violence.  
Unfortunate for them, the Wildcats got way more skills and experience with this kind of play. They wanted to play tough, we'll be tougher. Chad's every movement was extremely precise, with just enough force to draw the ball to wherever he wanted, and enough technique to control its way. His feet was light, body filled with energy, and the bubble of happiness kept him floating among the opposite team's players with godlike moves. He stole the ball easily from a West guy, and succeeded in keeping it in his fingers while he ran a long way along the court with little effort. He got his team behind his back, his fans on the bleachers, and Ryan in the costume willing to do all of the embarrassing dancing to support him.  
He passed the ball to Troy and the guy scored perfectly, widening the gap between two teams. They high fived and quickly concentrated back to the game, stopping the West guys from tipping the ball through their hoop. Everybody saw how amazing he was at the game, and he knew it himself. He was going to win this, he would.

 

 

  
"Gimme the ball! Gimme the ball!" Chad shouted when three of the West guys surrounded Zeke, and he tossed the ball to Chad swiftly. He took it and brought it up to the West's hoop again. They started pulling back to protect it. Chad almost got knocked to the ground when a giant guy tried to spear him to get the ball, but he managed to change the direction and continued running. Dan was behind him, stopping the West guys from approaching, and he took his chance, shoot the hoop.

 

 

  
The room roared with the voice of East High's students, he heard Sharpay's shriek from a mile away and grinned, breathing hard. He scored again, bringing the team closer to victory.

 

 

  
Sweat rolled off his curls as he retreated to back his team mates up. The West guys started playing rougher, and they wouldn't hesitate a foul. Troy ran after the ball, tried to catch it from the hand of a blue uniform guy, and Chad tried to warn him but it was too late. The other blue guy, who was supposed to be catching the ball, ran to him with full force and knocked him down.

 

 

  
The room fell in silence, and then angry yells started rising from the audience seat, demanding a free throw. Chad ran over to Troy and offered a hand to pick him up. The guy was stunned, sweat covered his face as he took Chad's hand and stood up.

 

 

  
"You okay?" Chad whispered, but Troy didn't seem to hear him. This is not good.

 

 

  
"Come on, Troy!" Coach Bolton's voice could be heard from the coach's spot, and all of the bleachers changed their colors in seconds with red covering the place. The team looked at the rows of seat, and they saw everyone using their red cardboard to create a huge message, the mascot backflipping three times straight before doing a split. They were all there for the team, and everyone was yelling.

 

 

  
"Troy! You can do it!"  
"Come on!"  
"I believe in you!"

 

 

  
Suddenly, Troy's eyes flickered to where a voice among them came from, and he regained his focus, took a deep breath as he came back to the game. Chad was about to turn to see whose voice it was, but the game started and he forgot it immediately.  
Troy got the free throw, and he did it perfectly well. In your face, West High. Knocking people down of their horses, real knights over here. Another West guy pushed him down, and the audience burst into rage again, but Chad jumped back on his feet the next second, and he knew Ryan was crazy for him from over there. Please, he didn't need the whole court to stop what they were doing to go comfort him everytime he fell. Ryan was no interested in pussies.

 

 

  
After a series of violent jabs and pushes, the West High Knights managed to score a few times, and unfortunately, got really close to the Wildcats' score.

 

 

  
"I'm triple teamed, I can't get a shot off," Troy breathed heavily as the team gathered, and coach Bolton asked.

 

 

  
"What you wanna do, captain?"

 

 

  
"Let's put on Rocketman."

 

 

  
"Rocketman?" The coach stared at him in disbelief. "Troy, you're two points away..."

 

 

  
"I know just, give me the ball."

 

 

  
To be honest, Chad wouldn't approve of him putting Rocketman in. Seriously, the boy was not half as good as Zac. He had only been in the team for a few weeks, Chad wasn't even sure if he could stand a chance against the West High guys. Putting anyone in to replace him with Rocketman was a risk, but Chad was confident that whatever happened, he could make sure everything was alright. He was at the top of his strength right now, adrenaline flowing in his veins, enhancing his skills.

 

 

  
Rocketman was out on the court, and the last minutes of the game continued. Troy was right, the West guys didn't take their eyes off of him for one second. There were always at least a few guys on his tail, and it was more and more difficult for him to shoot the closer he got to the hoop. The drawback of being the star of the team, was that Chad was also being followed the same way. He could take the ball from Troy and score easily if there weren't a bunch of guys circling around him, blocking his way. Then he slowly realized what Troy's strategy was. Rocketman was the only one in the team whose circle was as clear as day. No one even bothered looking at him.

 

 

  
Luke passed the ball to Troy, just like he asked, and the brown haired boy ran past the West High players to the hoop. They started forming a huge wave, ready to slap Troy violently back to the center of the court and take the ball from him. Time was running out.  
In front of everyone's shocked eyes, Troy passed the ball to Rocketman, who was standing cluelessly, and completely alone a few feet away from the hoop. The whole room gasped, and for a second, the boy held the ball in his hands, frozen and wide eyed, before coming back to his senses and shoot.

 

 

  
The seats of the East High Wildcats supporters exploded with victorious yells, laughs and everyone clapped their hands like crazy. The wave of people flooded the court, lifting Troy up from the wooden floor and cheered for him. Chad laughed too, and clapped as the champion cup was put in the team captain's hands. He suddenly saw the mascot bouncing around crazily happy, and turned his way through the crowd to the giant wildcat.

 

 

  
"I know you guys would win!" The blond yelled between gasps as Chad helped taking the mascot's head off, and Chad grinned, took a moment to appreciate the golden strands sticking in every direction from sweat, and the pink flush on his cheeks. "You were amazing out there, Chad, I--"

 

 

  
Chad pulled him close and kissed him. Slowly, eagerly, thoroughly. Ryan opened his eyes wide in surprise, and Chad took his chance to push his tongue in deeper, tasting and sucking and nibbling hungrily. A few seconds later, the blond smiled into the kiss as he started kissing back, and among the chaos of the gym room with everyone's attention shifted to Troy, for the first time, all he cared about was Ryan.


	19. Meant to be

It was the most ridiculous and unimaginable situation Ryan could ever think of. He was devastated the night before when Chad broke his kiss and ran away, and only less than twenty four hours later, here he was, wearing a giant furry Wildcat costume and kissing Chad like he had never been kissed before. Things changed so suddenly and unexpectedly that he could hardly know what was going on when Chad held him close and kiss him. But he gathered enough coherence to hold his arms and kiss him back with all he's got. All of the time waiting, hoping and desperate over Chad, all of the emotion that kept piling up over the months: adore, want, jealousy and hurt, he poured into the kiss, tilting his head as he closed his eyes and let the other boy took his mouth, clinging onto him. Chad didn't get away this time. He held Ryan back, too, pressing his body against the thick material, hands cupping the blond's cheek and stroke his hair. The touch was tender, and more loving than Ryan could ever wished for. The taste of Chad's tongue and lips was the slightly salty taste of sweat, but more of the sweet, rich taste and familiar scent of the jock, something incredibly unique and addictive.

 

 

  
Ryan couldn't find words to describe it, the smooth texture of Chad's mouth, the gentle but dominant way it moved against his own, fitting together like a jigsaw puzzle. But Ryan knew he wanted that feeling, and he loved it. The relief rose in his stomach like tidal waves and he could feel his eyes watering. If this was some kind of dream, he would destroy anyone who tried to wake him.

 

 

  
"I can't believe you did this for me." Chad finally, slowly, release his lips, and grinned, holding Ryan's face in his palms, eyes shone with happiness. "After what I did yesterday... Is this why you have to stay in the dry cleaner? To make sure you can put the costume on?"

 

 

  
Ryan didn't think he could say anything without sounding like he was about to cry, so he tried to hold it in and nodded, looking up at Chad under his eyelashes, because he knew guys went crazy when he did that.  
"How does it feel, wearing the East High legendary Wildcat?" Chad chuckled, and that was the moment the blond broke.

 

 

  
He burst into tears, large, round droplets of water rolled down his cheeks as he sobbed pathetically. "IT'S DISGUSTING!" Ryan didn't even care if everyone was looking and Chad was bending himself in half, laughing hysterically. "ALL OF THE GERMS AND THE BACTERIA FROM JOEY'S SWEAT ARE CRAWLING ALL OVER ME!!!"

 

 

  
"Oh come on, you got it dry cleaned," Chad wiped his tears away, picking him up as he continued to sob uncontrollably with the thoughts of the germs and bacteria. "There's no Joey left in there."

 

 

  
"But it was terrible!" Ryan let himself being lifted off the ground, taken to the locker room. "I'm sweaty too! It's so grossssss!"  
Chad tried hard not to drop the blond half way from laughing so loud. Everyone was still celebrating the victory, so no one came into the room but them. Chad put Ryan down on the bench and slowly peeled the furry costume off him, leaving him in a paper thin white t shirt that went almost transparent with the sweat and his shorts, putting it carefully onto the ground.

 

 

  
"You got sweaty all the time on the dusty, dirty baseball diamond, don't be a drama queen, Ry." Chad bit his lips in another kiss, and Ryan finally stopped crying. He kissed Chad back, realizing that no, this wasn't a dream, this was real, and they were really together.

 

 

  
"Chad?" He asked between kisses, arms looped around the boy's neck, chest flushed against his.

 

 

  
"Hnm?" The jock was busy nibbling his lips and snaking a hand up his bare back, but Ryan had to ask. He just wanted to know if what he thought was right.

 

 

  
"Why are you kissing me now?" The blond whispered, fingers clutched in his biceps. "And why didn't you kiss me all the time we were together?"

 

 

  
"...Because I was unsure." Chad traced his hand up the boy's jawline, holding him like he was the most precious thing in the world, and Ryan's heart clenched from happiness. "God, I'm terrible at this sentimental things... I'm sorry I ran away the last time. I don't know how you could still do everything for me after that, but you did, and that made me realize how blind I was for not seeing you before. You were so good to me and my life was messed up without you and--"

 

 

  
"So now we're officially dating?" Ryan smiled, and Chad pinched his cheek.

 

 

  
"Now we're dating." The boy nodded and they kissed for like the millionth time that day, Ryan lost count. They intertwining together in a tangle of limbs and kisses, and suddenly everything clicked into place. Everything turned out perfect.

 

 

 

An hour later, Ryan found himself squirming under the bleachers with his shorts pulled down onto the floor and a head full of curly, tickling dark hair bobbing up and down between his spread legs. Well, they were teenagers after all. They quickly escalated from kissing and cuddling in the locker room to groping and rubbing hotly, Ryan could feel the rock hard erection pressing against his thigh when Chad rocked his hips, and he gripped tighter, gasped and whimpered softly as he pushed back. But they were in the middle of a good, juicy make out right when the Wildcat team poured into the room after the long celebration to change so they could head to the party, and Ryan's heart burst out of his chest when he heard the steps and the laughing coming nearer and nearer to them. Luckily, at the exact moment the first guy walked in, Chad pulled the blond into the oversized empty locker that nobody knew what was for, and closed the door just in time.

 

 

  
Now he knew what it was for. The guys started opening their lockers and changed into their casual clothes, chatting and joking loudly, obvious rush of adrenalin from a tense game. They took an awfully long time to mess around and take out their belongings, and Chad swore he knew about the origin of Luke's socks enough for today. No, for the rest of his life. They even wondered where did Chad go, why hadn't any of them seen him from the end of the game, but no one knew. The noise was obnoxious and he just wanted to slam the door and yell at them to go away so he could come back making out with his very hot, very horny boyfriend who was pressing against him in the narrow space of the locker, but he couldn't. They just took forever.

 

 

  
"Whoa, what's that sound?" Jason's confused voice was so close to them that both of them flinched, but Chad had no intention of stopping. He kept shifting his hands around Ryan's hardening cock and thighs through his shorts, and the blond was caught off guard when he jumped and hit his head on the metal wall of the locker.

 

 

  
Chad smirked when the blond's eyes went wide, body shuddered with fear and hot delicious pleasure when he desperately tried to stop Chad's hands from his cock and tried to keep quiet at the same time. He bit his lip, looked at Chad with terrified eyes and frantically shook his head. No no no, we're so gonna be screwed if they found us! Chad just ignored him and continued to do everything he could to make Ryan scream.

 

 

  
Even if they were found, nothing bad was gonna happen. Chad licked the boy's collar bone and slid his hand into the other one's boxers, jerked hard. The blond trembled, eyes watered from betrayal, and he looked so miserable Chad almost had the idea of stopping. He could just kick open the door and the rest of the basketball team could see them making out, but that wouldn't be fun, he realized. If he succeeded and turned this into an accidental discovery, they would finally stop looking at him with pitiful eyes over a poor, pathetic guy that dedicated his life to Troy and forever got his soul broken when Troy dumped him. And imagine his ex's reaction when he found out Chad was being with someone better for himself than a lying, cheating bastard.

 

 

  
"I heard nothing." Zeke finally said after a while, and the rest of the team agreed with him. Chad had to say, Ryan got over the top self control. Even when he looked completely wrecked right now, face flushed and eyes tearing up, body trembling uncontrollably. But no sound escaping him at all.

 

 

  
"The party's waiting, guys!" Zac called from the outside, and the boys quickly forgot about the weird noise. They wrapped up the last of their stuff and left, and Ryan pushed the door hard, falling out of the locker, onto the ground.

 

 

  
Chad followed him, chuckled when the blond panted loudly, hiccups leaving his throat as he lied on the ground, limbs turned into jelly. He knew he was that good.

 

 

  
"You're real good at keeping quiet." Chad kissed his neck and groped on the boy's thighs to pick him up in one swift motion, letting his legs wrapped around Chad's waist, and he took Ryan out of the locker room, heading straight to the basketball court, where the confetti was still floating in the air, making the place look like it had just survived an atomic bomb.

 

 

  
No one was there: everyone left for the real victory celebration at Troy's house, and they got the court all for themselves.

 

 

  
"What were you thinking?!" Ryan bit him aggressively, still gasping. "They could have seen us!"

 

 

  
"I want them to see." Chad put the blond down in the bleachers and fumbled to take his clothes off while still kissing him. "I'm with the hottest hottie in the universe, I want them to see that."

 

 

  
"You asshole." Ryan grumbled, but cheeks still got a bit pinker. "What are you gonna do?"

 

 

  
Chad replied with a tug in his boxers, and Ryan hard cock sprang free. He wasted no time attaching his mouth onto it, and the blond made a lustful choked noise from his throat. The pale, lean legs spread wider and wider as Chad used his hands to massage the base and sucked gently at the top, and Ryan's hips twitched as barely concealed moans filled the space. It was the most obscene, the most erotic thing Chad had ever experienced, and he cursed himself for not doing this sooner.

 

 

  
The feelings of doing this with Ryan made him all hard and horny, and made his insides shook with adore. He had never felt so right, doing this with anyone else. Nor as desiring, loving and wanting. This boy was the last puzzle he never knew he needed.

 

 

  
.  
.  
.

 

 

  
To be honest, Sharpay was not the only one surprised to see the changes in Chad and Ryan's relationship. Their emotional effect to the student body was like a freaking roller coaster, one second they were fine, they were best friends, the next second they were jumping onto each other trying to scratch each other's eyes out, and suddenly they were dating, but some kind of fake, cold dating because they looked distanced, and now they were still dating, but in an entirely different way. Like they were replaced with Jack and Roger from _Titanic_. Open, free, and full of genuine affection.

 

 

  
Ryan was living in the dream he had desired for so long. Everything he ever asked for, now he suddenly lived among it, and he couldn't be happier. Chad was finally his, and wholly his. And he was Chad's, too. They were inseparable these days, they came back to be the power couple ruling the baseball diamond, Ryan always spent time going to Chad's basketball practice, Chad always spent time going to the music room to see Ryan rehearsing his number, they ate lunch together, picked each other up from home and took each other home from school. Ryan never had to hide his loving, desiring, adoring gaze whenever he looked at Chad, because he had the right to. He never had to stop himself from touching Chad, from peppering him with kisses, and from showing everyone that he was head over heels fallen for the boy. No more unrequited crush, no more concealed jealousy and hidden want. And it felt good.

 

 

  
Chad hadn't smiled that much in a long time. He was stressed, his life was turned up side down since the moment the school year started, and now it was like everything was lifted off his chest. He lost his boyfriend, yes, but the boyfriend that cheated on him, and even when it still stung, talking to him and looking at him in basketball practice, he was relieved. His best friend became his new boyfriend, who turned out to be the cutest, kindest cinnamon roll in the world, but could also be the wicked, sly little bastard that drove Chad crazy, and the most gorgeous, stunning and passionate one he had ever seen. He never realized he cared so much about the blond until he knew how he felt with, and without him. Ryan never betrayed Chad. He never let Chad down, he was always genuine and honest, and he understood Chad more than he knew. No more broken heart, no more self torturing, no more self hatred, no more "I'm not good enough for him". It's Troy who was not good enough for him. But Ryan was more than enough. And it felt good.


	20. Back to where it was

Damn you, Danforth. Damn you.

 

 

  
It's only been five days. Five days was too short for happiness to last. He was living in heaven in the past five days, finally had the chance to be with Chad, who he had been desperately crushing on since the start of the summer. It wasn't a long time either, but it was torturous, and when it finally came to an end, when he finally touched his fingertips on the taste of happiness for five days, Troy robbed it from him.

 

 

  
Yes, Troy, the one who had it all. The one who had Gabriella in the other world, who had basketball, had the whole school revolves around him, and in this world, he had Chad. He left Chad, his best friend and boyfriend since they were fetuses, who had been there for him all this time, for some random guy in the last summer, and still had Chad's heart for a long time after that. Obviously even now, because when Ryan thought Chad finally got over Troy and became his, this slapped him in his face.

 

 

  
He stood there, behind the slit of the ajar door, frozen and numb and waiting. He waited, waited to find some explanation for this, but nothing came. He had only left the room for some drinks for five minutes, and when he returned, he lost Chad again. He thought he could finally be the one that could replace Troy in Chad's heart, but he was wrong. The guy only needed to come into the room, saying how his guy treated him terribly without mentioning how he chose that guy over Chad in the first place, and saying how he realized Chad was the best for him without mentioning that he was not the best for Chad, and saying that they were meant to be together. Chad resisted, Ryan was surprised, considering how terrified he looked, like he just wanted to ran into Troy's arms the moment he stepped into the room. He said he had a boyfriend now, Troy couldn't just say that, but the bastard cut him off by grabbing him in for a kiss.

 

 

  
But what made rage erupted in Ryan's body was not the fact that his boyfriend's ex tried to steal him back. It was the fact that Chad didn't push him away. He didn't step back, didn't lean away, didn't protest. He just let it happen, let Troy did whatever he wanted like everytime. Ryan waited, waited and waited, prayed that Chad would somehow get away, somehow tell Troy that he was with Ryan now, but he didn't do anything. The scene blurred as water welled up in his eyes, and anger twisted inside him like poison on its work.

 

 

  
"Can't believe I was stubborn enough to try." He slammed open the door before his clouded mind could really know anything, and Chad's eyes snapped wide open, he jerked away from Troy. Too bad it happened too late. If he did that before the blond came in, he could have saved the last tiny fracture of hope in him.

 

 

  
"Wait, Ry, let me explain..."

 

 

  
"Nope." He laughed bitterly as he shook his head, pushed the cup of cappuccino into the curly haired boy's hand. "I should have known that you fool would never learn. It is always him, no matter what ever happens. Never me, ever. It's entirely my fault in the first place. I'm done."

 

 

  
"Ryan, just wait." Chad tried to reached out to grab his arm, but his hand snapped up to squeeze the jock's wrist before it could touch him, his grip was unbelievably hard.   
He growled, not bothering to cover the trembling in his voice and the burning liquid rising in his eyes. "Touch me with your hands again and that would be the last time you have hands."

 

 

  
He grabbed his bag on the nearby chair and marched out of the room, heading straight for his car. Everyone was right. Sharpay was right, Kelsi was right, and Zac was right. They wouldn't work out, and he was too blind, too stubborn to keep denying the truth.

 

 

Everybody knew it was ignorant of him to keep trying to change Chad, and he knew it too, but was too blinded by his own emotion to accept it. He cursed himself over and over again in his head, legs running frantically to get himself out of the building, straight to the car park and into his car.

 

 

  
He was laughing and crying at the same time, hot, wet tears streamed down his face as he kept laughing pitifully at himself for being the pathetic, desperate one that he always despised in cliche romantic movies. After everything, he too, didn't learn. He didn't know when to stop. Ryan wiped away the blurry tears in his eyes to have a clearer view at the road as he hit the gas, hands grabbed so tight on the wheel his knuckles turned white.

 

 

  
He should have stopped when he saw Chad was happy with Taylor. But instead, he made his way into this world, with the stupid hope that maybe when the whole world was homosexual, he might have a chance. He should have stopped when he saw Chad with Troy. Instead he tried to get Chad for himself, with the stupid hope that maybe if he was caring enough, kind enough, Chad might fall in love with him. He should have stopped when Chad jerked away from their first kiss, instead, he dressed himself as a giant mascot just to show Chad that no matter what, he would still have his back, and hoped Chad might return his feelings. And he fooled himself to believe it.

 

 

  
"This is Sharpay Evans, I'm currently busy right now, so leave a message after the beep and my assistant will call you back if it's important."

 

 

  
He took a ragged breath through his mouth as he called Kelsi next. A long chain of beeps, and no answer. He threw the phone to the window in frustration, leaving both cracked and on the verge of breaking, and pulled over the side of the road, leaned on his arms as tears kept streaming down, shoulders trembling uncontrollably. How could he be so blind, he kept asking himself, ignoring the noise of the traffic outside, people must be wondering about the insane rich kid that stopped his car in the middle of his way. How could he be so foolish, he cursed himself, and how could he be so pigheaded. How could he still try to change the fact that he and Chad could never be together, even when the world changed. He knew turned himself into the most pathetic fool, and he did it anyway.

 

  
.  
.  
.

 

  
Twenty missed calls from Chad, fifty unread messages from Chad, and countless voicemails that quickly stuffed up his cracked phone in just a few hours. Screw him, Ryan told himself, and continued with his letter. His hands typing on the keyboard was shaking, but he didn't care.

 

 

  
He had never planned to stay in this small pond for the rest of his life. He was confident in his ability, and he wanted to be free, to know more people that loved singing, dancing and acting just like him, and to learn. A scholarship to an art school in New York city after graduating from East High would be a wonderful idea. Here, he was surrounded with people who knew nothing about art. No matter how much he loved baseball, theater was still his one true love, and he could find real challenges going out to the world. Seeing people that were better than him, more experienced than him, that could teach him, rival him, and lift him higher. And New York city, means he no longer had to stay in Albuquerque, means he could leave everything about high school behind, including Chad.

 

 

  
He carefully checked every single word in his letter again and again for like a hundred times, eyebrows furrowed and fully focused, before he finish the rest of the letter with signature and everything, and hit send. He even had the thought of attending the U of A so he could be close to Chad until they graduate, but clearly the thought should be flushed down the sink now. Thank god the deadline for sending in letters for scholarship to Julliard was in two more hours, so he was still in time. He looked at the sparkling website of his dream university since he was a toddler and thought to himself, sacrificing his dream just to be with someone was foolish, and he had done enough foolish things in his life. Dancing would never break up with him or go back kissing its ex in front of his face, anyway.

 

 

  
He would record his audition piece and send it to them when he got his reply. The audition piece should be tomorrow night, when he finally got the chance to perform _Bye bye bye_ in the school show. It sounded like a thousand years before, he made up the choreography and set up everything on stage since before all of this happened. He was still lustful over Chad then, and on the verge of getting over him. The song didn't seem to fit so well in his happy days with Chad though, but it did fit amazingly now, when he knew it was the right time to say goodbye to him.

 

 

  
"Ducky, are you in there?" A warm voice which slowly become familiar to him over the past months called from outside his room, and he replied with a tired voice.

 

 

  
"Come in, pop." He mumbled, and his male-mother opened the door to come in, a tray with a tea pot and two cups on his hand. It was still weird to look at him and realize how much he and Ryan looked alike. Like he could imagine exactly how himself was gonna look like when he reached his forties.

 

 

  
"What are you doing, baby?" The man gently came closer and put the tray on the nightstand, sitting down on the bed near Ryan's feet.

 

 

  
"I'm sending a letter to Juilliard for a scholarship." He closed the laptop and put it aside. "I really want to be there."

 

 

  
"Of course I know, honey. If that's where you want to study at, you'll study there." He touched his son's cheek. "We can cover your tuition and any other fee for you in New York if things go wrong."

 

 

  
"Thanks, papa." Ryan smiled. "I'll try my best."

 

 

  
"So, you changed your mind from studying in the U of A back to Juilliard?" Derby whispered. "You stopped wanting to be with Chad, all of a sudden? What happened between you and him? Sharpay didn't tell us the whole story."

 

 

  
"It's a really, really long story, pop, it'll take a day telling you." Ryan shrugged.

 

 

  
"Well, we have all of the time in the world, don't we?" He poured some tea in the cups and scoot closer to Ryan, putting a steaming hot cup into his hands. "You've always been like your father in these kinds of things. Charming, playful, a heartbreaker."

 

 

  
The boy giggled as he sipped the tea.

 

 

  
"It's really weird, pop, and you will think I'm crazy, but I'll say I don't come from this world. I actually lived for seventeen years in a world where everyone was straight." He paused. "Well, not everyone. I'm still gay. But most people aren't."

 

 

  
Derby didn't say anything. He just stared at his son with wide eyes, and Ryan knew he must be wondering if the break up had messed up with his son's mind.

 

 

  
"Almost everybody was straight in that world, and a lot of things were different. Like some people don't love the same ones they loved in this world, and some people changed their gender. You were a woman in that world."

 

 

  
"Wait..." Derby furrowed his eyebrows. "Is that why you acted strange when you saw..."

 

 

  
"Yes, the day I caught you and dad making out on the counter was the first day I came to this world, and things were strange to me. Anyway, in that world, everything was rather difficult for me, being gay. People mistreated me, disgusted me, and I had a crush on Chad, a straight boy who already had a girlfriend."

 

 

  
Derby sighed as he held his son close.

 

 

  
"I was depressed, and even when I tried hard to get over him, I couldn't. Zac, a freshman at school, who was somehow a magical love fairy with the power dedicated to matchmaking, saw me, and he took me here. He told me that in a world where everyone is gay, I will have a chance with Chad. Unfortunately, Chad was dating Troy."

 

 

  
"Oh, honey."

 

 

  
"My hope was crushed, and I was upset, so I dated and flirt with the whole school so I can forget him. Didn't work."

 

 

  
"You flirt with the whole school?" Derby glared at his son. "How could you not--"

 

 

  
"They were all into me anyway, papa! And I remembered to use condoms, and I took birth control pills everytime, so no need to worry." Ryan rolled his eyes. "Jeez."

 

 

  
"You had sex with all of them, too?!"

 

 

  
"But then Troy cheated on Chad and dumped Chad, and he turned to me." Ryan ignored his papa's disapproval look. "I didn't care if he was just using me or not, I was too desperate. I did everything for him, tried my best to be the perfect boyfriend to him, and somewhere along the way I thought that maybe he really had something for me back."

 

 

  
"But I was wrong. He was still in love with Troy, and he was just using me to replace Troy's absence. The moment Troy came back to him, he forgot I existed. He kissed Troy right in front of me, right when we were still dating."

 

 

  
Derby held him tight and kissed his hair, but the more words came out of his mouth, the colder it felt inside him. He felt nothing, saying things that should hurts. He was numb.

 

 

  
"I'm so sorry, Ducky." His papa told him. "It's okay for you to cry--"

 

 

  
"I cried for him so much already, papa." The boy shook his head. "I had feelings for him for so long, and that led me from disappointments to disappointments. I hoped, and then I was hopeless, over and over. I guess we're just not meant to be."  
Derby caressed his shoulders, knew nothing to say.

 

 

  
"I think that's it, papa. I gave up for real, this time." Ryan mumbled in his papa's chest. "I ran out of hope."

 

 

  
"It's always hard to know when to quit, and somehow every choice you made seemed wrong and regretful." Derby whispered to him with a quiet voice. "But you have to know that you deserve all of the best things in this world. Give yourself a break. If he somehow came back to his senses and ask for your forgiveness, then good for him. If he didn't appreciate what you did for him, didn't worship you like the prince you are, then he lost. Not you."

 

 

  
Ryan nodded. He squeezed his eyes shut as he curled into his papa's lap, leaned his head against the man's chest.

 

 

  
"This Chad." Derby touched his little boy's nose with his own. "If he's not into you, he's straight. Every guy who's not into you, hands down, is straight."

 

 

  
The boy laughed. Yeah, probably.


	21. I want it that way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song in this chapter is a mashup of Bye bye bye and I want it that way performed by the Glee cast, it's a wonderful song, check it out!

"Okay, but I have to say this." Sharpay turned from Gabriella's pleading eyes to Chad's begging eyes next to her and sneered. "It's all your fault. It's all. _Your_. **Fault**."

 

 

  
"I know!" Chad exclaimed, held his head in his own hands. He had been cursing himself and accusing himself of that for a hundred times now, Sharpay wasn't the first. "That's why I'm trying to fix it! I can lose him like that! I really, really, need your help."

 

 

  
"Why should I help you?" The blonde put her hands on her hips, eyes judging him coldly. "There's a million reasons why my brother should end things with you. Do you know how many times you hurt him? You are the worst kind of boyfriend ever! He can finally be done with you for good."

 

 

  
"But you know that he can't." Chad cut her off. "We all know that he still cares about me too much. And I know it's late, but I care about him too. I really wanna be with him."

 

 

  
"Then explain again why on earth you decided to kiss Troy Bolton right in front of his face while he was out buying drinks for you because you two were together and he's always been kind to people like that!" She snapped, and Gabi's helpless gaze didn't make anything easier. Even the most optimistic and sympathetic one of them couldn't defend him.

 

 

  
"I already told you, Sharpay, I was shocked! I don't know he would just barge into the room kissing me! He was talking about regretting of breaking up with me, and realizing no one else was as good for him as me, and shits like that." Chad groaned. "Okay, I admit, there will always be a part of me that wants Troy. I want to get rid of it, but it takes time. I was stunned. But I did refuse and--"

 

 

  
"And you still couldn't push him away when he tried to kiss you." Sharpay mumbled, her glares pinned him like hard nails. "That's what hurts Ryan, Danforth. You were always weak, always the one giving, you could never say no to Troy to choose him. He hates you for that."

 

 

  
"And I hate myself too." Chad looked down on the floor. She had no idea how much he loathed himself after what happened. Ryan was right, he was too weak to say no to Troy. It's always been like that in their relationship, he was the one giving, the one dedicating, the one who chased after Troy and tried to please him whatever it takes. It should have been Ryan.

 

 

  
He should have pushed Troy away the moment he assaulted him with a kiss, he should have said no more firmly, he should have left the room. Instead, he took a good fifteen minutes to stand there, panicking, not knowing what to do, until Ryan came in, crying and breaking up with him. He deserved it, he knew. He just didn't want to keep repeating the mistakes. He had never fought for Ryan's heart a day in his life. Now he had to.

 

 

  
"But have you seen how happy Ryan was in the couple of days he dated Chad, for real?" Kelsi decided it was the good time to step into the conversation, and her voice was soft. She was mad at Chad too, but she took his side. "He wants Chad, and he deserves to be happy. Chad made a mistake, but he wants Ryan enough to try to fix that mistake, so I think he deserves a chance, too."

 

 

  
Sharpay glowered at her like she was a traitor, but Gabriella started soothing her. "Chad said no to Troy eventually, didn't he? He just did that a little late, but he figured it out himself, and said it himself. He had done so many wrong things to Ryan," She ignored his disapproving "hey!", "But now when he finally wanted to do something right, making Ryan happy, you don't want to help him?"  
Sharpay angrily looked at her, then at Chad, and then at Kelsi. Her face turned bright, livid red, her lips pressed together a thin line, and she stomped her feet on the ground. "Fine! I will help you, you basketball monkey."

 

 

  
Chad broke out a relieved laugh and turned to hug Gabriella a thank you. If it wasn't for her big, brown eyes, Sharpay would never want to help him. She was always too protective of her little brother, and to be honest, it's not unreasonable for her to react like that. He had been trying to explain to her for hours, and had to listen to all of her accusations and throwing tantrums. It was tiring, but also heart warming how the twins cared about each other so much.

 

 

  
"But if you dare hurting him one more time..." She didn't even need to finish her threat. All she did was giving him the most deadly Evans glare and he swore to himself to never let Ryan shed a tear ever again.

 

 

  
"Okay, so can we start making up a plan to win back Ryan's heart and heal his inner wounds?" Zac rolled his eyes, and the three girls looked at him. "It's my job to bring people together."

 

 

  
"Well then, let's get started." Gabriella sat down on the library table and opened her laptop. PowerPoint presentation flashed on the screen. Of course she had to present the plan on slides. "First with the time. What's the best time for the plan to work?"

 

 

  
"I have an idea." Kelsi leaned in. "It should be tomorrow's night, in the school's show. Ryan's performing."

 

 

  
The longer he listened to Kelsi's voice, the more confident he was in the plan they were working on. It was brilliant, at the right time, hit in the right spot. The only thing he needed to do was following it, express everything genuinely, with all of his real emotions, and let the gods decide his fate. Chad crossed his fingers in his pocket, prayed silently that the plan was gonna work.

  
.  
.  
.

  
"Hey, you sure you can do this?" Ryan looked back at Zac nervously, his wrists rested in the loose knot of the ropes that tied it into the metal bars on the ceiling. The dark skinned boy nodded firmly and swallowed hard.  
Bye bye bye by N'Sync was famous for its unique, symbolic puppet strings. The singers were portrayed as small, helpless puppets with white strings attached to their wrists and knees while being controlled by a maniac laughing girl to dance and perform on a toy stage. It somehow left a deep impression in Ryan's head since he was in sixth grade, and still amazed him by now.

 

 

And it described his long suffering time staying in love with Chad so perfectly. He wasn't saying Chad was that evil girl that made him do everything the boy wanted, he hated Chad but he knew the boy was not mean, but let just say his blind affections for Chad were those strings, and he was helpless in its tangling mess. He was tied, he was desperate to get away, but he just couldn't, and he had to watch himself doing thoughtless, stupid things that his heart asked, knowing pain would be the only thing he got at the end. And he did all of those things while being exposed on a stage, with the whole world looking and pitying him.  
The setting was great, he managed to make a set of strings tying him and four of his background dancers to the ceiling while still moved around in the new complicated dance moves that he created without difficulty, and he made sure everything looked good at the rehearsals. No famous, important people particularly watching and judging his performance, but he alwayswas gave his best. Actually, there was someone he thought that this song was for, and he had to make it flawless, as a sweet goodbye.

 

 

  
Everything was fine until Garfield stood him up, saying the guy was having a terrible cold and couldn't make it to the performance, and Ryan hated it when there was not enough background dancers. It made the stage looked uneven, ridiculous, and he got so stressed over it he almost cut a guy off the number. It would make the stage a bit too empty, but it was better than having two dancers on your left and only one on your right. That was when Zac came in, saying he would love to help Ryan with his crisis, and thank god the boy fitted into the team incredibly, so he didn't hesitate to let him in. They were all wearing red today, red jackets, dark undershirts and jeans. Ryan had this stunning dark red fedora on his head, standing in the middle, closest to the view, and got ready.

 

 

  
He was still a little worried, but Zac looked confident, so he took a deep breath and put his faith in the boy. The curtains slowly drawed up and the dim light was getting clearer as the opening music started playing.

 

 

  
" _Yeah yeah_  
_Bye bye bye, bye bye!"_

 

 

  
The stage was lit, they went into the well organized, perfecly choreographed dance moves, and the audience cheered. The applause erased all of the nervousness in Ryan's body, he soon forgot everything in his head and let his muscles flowed with the familiar moves and music, eyes darted back and forth to find Chad in the rows of seat. This song was for him.

 

 

" _I'm doing this tonight_  
_You're probably gonna start a fight_  
_I know this can't be right, hey, baby, come on"_

 

 

  
He pulled the strings down, moved his feet, feeling the boys behind him mimicking the dance with grace. He tried to look for Chad as he sang the words out loud, the words of his heart.

 

 

  
" _I loved you endlessly, when you weren't there for me_  
_So now it's time to leave, and make it alone"_

 

 

  
He still couldn't find Chad. Damn it. He knew the boy would come. He knew. Where the hell is he?

 

 

  
" _I know that I can take no more, it ain't no lie_  
_I wanna see you out that door_  
_Baby bye bye bye"_

 

 

  
The music suddenly changed, and he snapped his eyes to Kelsi, the one in control of the sound, and the girl shot him an apologetic gaze. Gabriella and Sharpay was sitting next to her.

 

 

  
The spot light on him turned off, and it suddenly lit up the area between the rows of seats. Fuck. Ryan's heart sped up uncontrollably. He froze, mouth slightly opened, looked nothing more than a puppet.

 

 

  
" **You are my fire**  
**The one desire**  
**Believe when I say**  
**I want it that way"**

 

 

  
Chad's singing voice was warm, rich and full of emotion. He was standing there, among the audience, facing Ryan, in a blue jacket, singing a different song. I want it that way, Backstreet boys, he recognized. No no no, this was his song. He was supposed to sing it, not Chad.

 

 

  
" _Bye bye!_ " The guys behind him jumped in, and another spot light was back on the stage.

 

 

  
" _Don't wanna be a fool for you_  
_Just another player in your game for two_  
_You may hate me but it ain't no lie, baby bye bye bye"_

 

 

  
Ryan glared at Kelsi for one second before shifting his gaze to Chad. The bastard was prepared. He had four other guys with him, Zeke, Jason, Dan and Luke behind him, all wearing blue jackets and he cursed in his head. They were clearly stealing Ryan's squad's look.

 

 

  
He shook his head, his hands shaking and face twisted with pain, continuing the words.  
" _Don't really wanna make it tough_  
_I just wanna tell you that I had enough_  
_It might sound crazy but it ain't no lie, baby bye bye"_

 

 

  
" **Tell me why?"** Chad cut him off, and he didn't realize he was reacting before it's too late.

 

 

  
" _Ain't nothing but a heartache..._ " He bit his lip, closing his eyes, trying to get away from there.

 

 

  
" **Tell me why?** " Chad looked at him with questioning, hopeful eyes, begging eyes, and his heart clenched.

 

 

  
" _Ain't nothing but a mistake..._ " He turned over, taking off the strings on his hands and knees, trying to get away, but the knot on his right wrist was somehow too tight.

 

 

  
" **Tell me why?"** He struggled with the knot, but Chad was coming closer to the stage with every word he sang, and Ryan was breathing rapidly.

 

 

  
_"I never wanna hear you say,"_ He angrily cut the other boy off, tears welled up in his eyes, and both of them sang in perfect harmony, Ryan's high note and Chad's low voice.

_**"I want it that way"** _

 

 

  
The spot light on Ryan turned off, leaving him again in the dark, eyes couldn't tear away from Chad and his pleading eyes.

 

 

  
" **You are my fire**  
**The one desire**  
**You are"**

 

 

  
The guys behind him took turns repeating the lyrics but with higher notes everytime.

 

 

  
Ryan swallowed and screamed, " _Don't wanna hear you!"_

  
" _Ain't nothing but a heartache_ "

 

 

Chad was still singing along with him, chasing his voice. " **Make it tough...** "

 

 

  
" _Ain't nothing but it ain't no lie, bye bye!_  
_Don't wanna be a fool for you!_ " The rope tying Ryan's right wrist with the metal bar on the ceiling suddenly fell down, exactly when Gabriella hit on some button in her seat, heaping on the ground, and the blond took the chance, ran from there.

 

 

  
" **You are my fire...** "

  
" _Just another player in your game for two!"_

  
_"_ **Tell me why...** _"_

 

 

  
But before Ryan could move, Zac stepped up from his position, his strings were also released in the same moment, and he grabbed the heap of Ryan's strings on the floor, throwing it straight to Chad.

 

 

  
" **The one desire...** "

  
" _You may hate me, but it ain't no lie, baby bye bye bye"_

  
**"I want it that way"**

 

 

  
Ryan only got the chance to throw Zac a betrayed look before Chad started pulling the rope to him, and the blond was pulled closer.  
" **My one desire** "

 

 

  
" _Don't really wanna make it tough, I just wanna tell you that I had enough,_ " Ryan desperately tried to pull back, planting his feet on the ground, but he was still slowly pulled from his place on the stage with the rope around his wrist, Chad was winning.

 

 

  
" _It might sound crazy but it ain't no lie, baby bye bye bye_ "

  
**"I want it that way!"**

  
" _Bye bye!"_

 

 

  
Chad made a final tug and Ryan was brutally pulled into his arms, shaking with tears. He kissed the blond on the lips, holding him close, devouring his mouth in a crushing kiss. The blond was trying not to burst into tears, gripping his arms tightly, tried to move back, but Chad's arms were around him.

 

 

  
"I'm so sorry," Chad whispered into the kiss, his thumb brushed on the corner of his blue eyes that were stained wet with tears. "I'm sorry for not appreciating you sooner. I'm sorry for not being yours."

 

 

  
"You can't say this to me right now," Ryan shook his head, gritting his teeth. "You chose Troy, you always do, I'm never--"

 

 

  
"I don't choose him. Not anymore." Chad peppered his face with kisses again, holding him tight. "That kiss was a mistake, he caught me off guard and I was the fool not to push him away immediately. I don't want to make the wrong choice anymore, Ry, I want to choose you."

 

 

  
"God damned it, Chad, I--" The blond squirmed in his arms, panic and helpless.

 

 

  
"Please forgive me." Chad kissed his lips the final time, and the boy in his arms collapsed into him, breaking into sobs. He had to hild tight onto this skinny, fragile boy, so nothing could ever break him again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry guys, I had a lot of ideas for this fic to continue but I don't think I have enough time to keep it written longer so I guess I'll let it end here  
> I'll still write some more Chyan fic, but only oneshots, so I can focus more on my studies  
> Thank you for your support

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos would brighten up my day and motivate me to write the next chapter more quickly, so please leave them as many as you can! Thank you so much!


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